Looking for help spread w/ family situation-HELP

[Mantramommy]

HI All,

So, I tried to keep this spread simple in deciding fully how to proceed with inviting a problematic family member to an event. I did three cards.

Outcome if I invite them-8 of cups-This makes sense as we are currently not speaking because of their behavior and the outcome if I invited them would simply be walking further away then I already have.

Others reactions if I invite them-King of Swords-They will somehow rationally keep me focused while I clearly deal with the emotional impact of the decision.

Outcome if I do not invite them-6 of cups-A bit of nostalgia..."What could've been..."
Others reactions if I do not invite them-2 of cups-I think this is clear in my being able to enjoy myself fully and connect appropriately.

Advice in making decision-2 cards pop out (I was amazed at the ones that did)-Strength & 10 of swords-I feel message is to be strong and "let the dead bury their dead" in the sense that what is lost is lost and I can't keep going the same decision as I have for the past month.

What I also find fascinating is that I performed another reading regarding my situation with this person awhile ago and in the response to the "Where should I focus?" question I received two cards: The fool & 8 of cups. The way the card was positioned it was the fool and the 8 of cards next to it, which I interpreted as "You are no longer naive and walk away." Felt for some reason that was important.

ANY feedback would be appreciated. Thanks a bunch!

MM

 

[MoonBug33]

King of Swords vs. Two of Cups

Hi,

I'm not sure how helpful this will be to you, but the contrast between these two cards stood out the most for me.

The King of Swords is logical, clear-thinking, maybe even a little severe (or a lot, depending on his position). He's all about personal boundaries. Perhaps inviting the family members despite their previous negative behaviors might cause this king to respond by going stone-cold-silent, which doesn't feel very supportive to me. It's not necessarily UN-supportive, but there's no warm fuzzy feeling, either. Pair that with the 8 of Cups, and you might see a breakdown of communication, or at best a superficial interaction.

With the Two of Cups, now you've got people loosening up, which we can only really do when we know there are clear boundaries of acceptable behavior. Nobody can relax when we're worried about what shenanigans someone's going to pull next. So it could be rather than feeling bittersweet about the absence of those others, with the Two/Six of Cups everyone can bond and focus on happy memories instead.

I'm with you on the Strength + 10 of Swords combo. Whichever way you decide, you'll need to know that what's done is done, and you'll want to avoid bringing it up again whether these people are present or not.

Hope that helps!

 

[Maru]

Outcome if invited -- 8 of Cups -- You will regret the invitation and you may have already realized there may be a subconscious desire to "push play" on the moving on process by inviting them over. Kinda like proving yourself right. Emotionally, when it comes to decision making, this card can remind me of "survivor's guilt"... why can't I bring this person with me into the new life? They need you more than you need them and by walking away, you're effectively taking away a very important part of their support system. So there is reluctance here...

Others reaction if invited -- King of Swords -- I think this is saying flat out that others will be wondering why you bothered. Seeing as they're on the outside, they have more objectivity, so they may have already come to conclusions logically that you may not be able to due to the emotional proximity... they may not be sharing this viewpoint with you, as King of Swords, he tends to makes observations of other people's drama rather than to be a part of it. It's "cut and dry" energy may be more fitting here. "More nonsense" also comes to mind.

Outcome if I do not invite them -- 6 of Cups -- It may be less you having nostalgia, more you feeling you have to somehow "make amends" for the past... like a child consoling another child. (especially if siblings are involved here)

Others reaction if you do not invite them -- 2 of Cups -- You will be more accessible to them and easier to be around. The situation may be uncomfortable for them otherwise. Maybe you are more yourself, less jumpy or unpredictable when the family member is not around. The situation may be effecting you emotionally more than even /you/ may realize... The King of Swords feels reflected back... it may be the family members are secretly wondering why you're putting up with it and have not put a stop to it. They see you as the wise and brilliantly minded King... this drama is out of your element.

Advice in making decision -- Strength & 10 of Swords (Jumpers) -- I think trust your gut on the jumper cards. I also had to look up your phrase as I was not sure it's origin. Seems to fit here perfectly based on the two cards depicted. (secretly laughing at 10 of Swords imagery in light of the phrase)

I would say start with the guilt and go from there. It is not logical to fight an uphill battle with someone who has the most impact on the outcome in the situation (the "problematic" person). I wonder too if King of Swords might be that this other person is domineering you and you won't be yourself as long as this person is around. May also be that it freezes you emotionally in time with the 6C. The 6C I think is where your biggest factor is.