Lovers card - new love vs. existing love

[Stargirl]

Hi all,

I use the Vision deck and often do readings for folks about relationships. And... many of these people are in a place of uncertainty or difficulty in their relationships. So if the Lovers card appears at any point in the spread, I tend to think of it as the possibility of a new potential love partner appearing on the scene. To me there is a 'newness' about this card - new choices, etc.

I'm wondering if this is really accurate, though - could the Lovers appearing for people in these situations mean "relationship reboot"? Would love to know whether you immediately gravitate towards one meaning or the other, if one meaning screams at you louder than the other.

Thanks

 

[WalesWoman]

Maybe Lovers in a relationship context would be the real question: is this person in love with an ideal of love and an idealized lover or if they love the other for better or worse and all can withstand all the ups and downs and compromises.

And then when you talk about compromise, it becomes a question of can you be true to each other and still be true to yourself?

Is it a balance between two equal partners committing themselves to each other, Joy unto Joy, a marriage of souls or something more convenient and strategic?

Maybe focus on the harmony and balance, the choice between making something really good or just enough to get by.

Those are the kinds of things that come into my mind, more than someone new, unless I was hoping for something new.

 

[Stargirl]

Thanks WalesWoman; those are all interesting points to consider. This speaks to me especially: "the choice between making something really good or just enough to get by."

 

[Amanda]

I think what you are getting is probably fine

I tend to see the Lovers as either someone feeling divided about Love, potentially putting conditions on love, having certain ideals about love, needing to trust, or needing to heal... and the trust and heal thing usually comes with letting go of those conditions and ideals.

That's just kind of how I see it anyway, although sometimes it does indicate partnering up and making choices to me as well.

 

[214red]

i agree with the comments here, i would also add that many lovers cards symbolise as Amanda_04 said divided loyalty, many show a choice between mother and wife.
I think the overriding feeling i get with the lovers card is its about choice, between things you love, this can be people or even between a lover and a job

 

[Stargirl]

Ah yeah, I can see all this as well! The Lovers never seem 'settled' to me in any way -- there's always some kind of tension, whether it's the tension of 'should i get involved w/this person?' or the tension of taking a hard look at any illusions one has around love.

 

[Amanda]

Ah yeah, I can see all this as well! The Lovers never seem 'settled' to me in any way -- there's always some kind of tension, whether it's the tension of 'should i get involved w/this person?' or the tension of taking a hard look at any illusions one has around love.

Well, that's Gemini for you. They'd have a relationship with everyone and love everyone if they could, I think. But other people just wouldn't be accepting of that because of those conditions I mentioned. Some people just expect to grow up, go to college, meet someone, get married, have kids, then grow old. That's what some people believe love is. And for some, maybe it really is. But Love itself, (or at least, my ideal of love) is a little more hippy- that it's free and open to everyone. Once conditions and expectations become involved, it becomes harder to trust and heal and grow if those conditions get broken. Essentially, I see this card and think that people need to lighten up. Love is free. Quit putting obstacles in the form of conditions and expectations in one's own way.

 

[starrystarrynight]

Since it's a number 6 card, I believe that The Lovers can also call for peace and harmony or balance in a situation, which I often extrapolate to mean that something has to be done in order to even have the choice of a love relationship come to fruition. Often, I see that one of the things needed when the Lovers appears is for one or both of the people in the situation to "cut the apron strings" somewhere--either to grow up and away from parental upbringing/past beliefs and conditioning or heal some past love relationship that might have left some emotional scars. Since it's often easier to stay with the "tried and true," this makes the choice more difficult and riskier in the eyes of the person(s) needing to break these ties, but it's also a rite of passage (as I believe all trumps are in their way), and that (to me) makes it a bigger deal than, say, the Two of Cups kind of love relationship. It's a bigger risk, but the pay-off (resulting relationship) can be that much bigger, too.

Edited to add:

Which, as I see when reading back over the other comments now, is probably just another way of saying a lot of what everyone else had to say.

 

[Stargirl]

Wowww, Starry - the way you articulate this absolutely hits it. Fantastic - and all of this applies to so many relationship situations... someone may still be operating from leftover parental influences and needs to fully claim their autonomy; someone else is projecting things from past relationships onto the present one... The choice to take responsibility... it's all here. And Amanda this speaks to what you're saying, too... trusting and healing, but only being able to do that when you release hold on certain assumptions, dogmas, belief systems (Sagittarius, the energy that naturally opposes Gemini!) and instead develop a genuine curiosity and openness to trust, openness to healing.

Love it.

Thank you!!