The power of the cards...

[haleyw]

I've just done a reading via email for one of my colleagues at work. Without going into too much detail, I picked up on an awful lot that would have been otherwise impossible to know. I also could have said a lot more than I did, but I held back, some information that I could see. Something I have done when reading for friends in the past too. I don't feel bad about this because I don't charge and I'm just practising, but I almost feel as though I'm cheating myself, sometimes, by holding things back which are quite clearly there. I do this because I don't want to get too personal, or upset them, or for various other reasons depending on the person.

The colleague I've just read for has never had a reading before and she's very, very spooked by it. I kind of feel bad now. She's not saying she regrets it or anything, and couldn't thank me enough for the reading, but I feel in a strange way I now know too much personal information about her now and I feel as though I've violated her privacy in some way. It's as though, I know things that I've got no right to know and I have to see her every day, which I have no problem with, but I hope she doesn't too. I also want her to trust that I won't go gossiping or anything about her personal matters. She did say she's been at a crossroads for two years and been putting these things off and now she's having to probably face them and deal with them. I believe it will help and benefit her in the long run, but in the meantime I kind of feel bad that's it's my reading that is going to be the catalyst for some major decisions that will probably cause heartache, even though this heartache is probably necessary.

This is not something I'd bargained for, but now realise if I can continue to read and practice, that I'm going to encounter an awful lot more of. After all we are dealing with people, their lives and emotions.


Please can you offer any advise?

 

[nisaba]

The colleague I've just read for has never had a reading before and she's very, very spooked by it. I kind of feel bad now. She's not saying she regrets it or anything, and couldn't thank me enough for the reading, but I feel in a strange way I now know too much personal information about her now and I feel as though I've violated her privacy in some way. It's as though, I know things that I've got no right to know and I have to see her every day, which I have no problem with, but I hope she doesn't too. I also want her to trust that I won't go gossiping or anything about her personal matters.

I understand your dilemma. I felt like that in the beginning, and I wish I;d had someone then, who would have told me what I'm about to tell you.

The more readings you do, the less you remember out of them. And also, it's as if it's none of your business, it's between your deck and the client. They fade from your memory quickly, unless you deliberately keep thinking about them.

In your preamble before reading (perhaps while they are shuffling), why not say that whatever comes up in a reading stays in a reading, it is utterly private, and in any case (when it's true), you tend to forget most of the readings afterwards because the message was to them, not you.

I went to the extent of typing up my own reader's code of ethics, laminating it, nad having it on my table when I'm reading publicly. It really helps clients relax when they know that

a) you will rigidly maintain confidentiality, and
b) readings fade out of your memory, because they are not your concern.

 

[SunChariot]

I've just done a reading via email for one of my colleagues at work. Without going into too much detail, I picked up on an awful lot that would have been otherwise impossible to know. I also could have said a lot more than I did, but I held back, some information that I could see. Something I have done when reading for friends in the past too. I don't feel bad about this because I don't charge and I'm just practising, but I almost feel as though I'm cheating myself, sometimes, by holding things back which are quite clearly there. I do this because I don't want to get too personal, or upset them, or for various other reasons depending on the person.

The colleague I've just read for has never had a reading before and she's very, very spooked by it. I kind of feel bad now. She's not saying she regrets it or anything, and couldn't thank me enough for the reading, but I feel in a strange way I now know too much personal information about her now and I feel as though I've violated her privacy in some way. It's as though, I know things that I've got no right to know and I have to see her every day, which I have no problem with, but I hope she doesn't too. I also want her to trust that I won't go gossiping or anything about her personal matters. She did say she's been at a crossroads for two years and been putting these things off and now she's having to probably face them and deal with them. I believe it will help and benefit her in the long run, but in the meantime I kind of feel bad that's it's my reading that is going to be the catalyst for some major decisions that will probably cause heartache, even though this heartache is probably necessary.

This is not something I'd bargained for, but now realise if I can continue to read and practice, that I'm going to encounter an awful lot more of. After all we are dealing with people, their lives and emotions.


Please can you offer any advise?

I don't know if any of this will help, but these are my views on it....for whatever they are worth. First I think we are meant to tell the querent everything that we see in a reading. There is a reason that each thing in the reading thaat you saw came up. IF it came up it is because the person needed to hear it and it would truly help them and improve their lives to know it. Maybe we can't see why and sometimes it us it feels like a little thing to omit, but sometimes what feels like just a little thing to us can ultimately have a big and posiitive impact on someimes lives.

To me it is not for us to judge what to keep back and what to tell. Although yes it is up to us HOW to tell it, But to me if we are entrusted with doing a reading, we have to tell all that we see. Whatever comes up,comes up because the other person needs to know it for a good reason. It's about having faith in the source that sends us the answers that is does not tell us things that are not important for the querent to know.

Whether or not they feel hurt is not so much an aspect of what you tell them, as HOW you tell them. There are many ways to tell the same piece of information. Some ways are hurtful and some are not. It's just a matter or working that out for yourself, what the best ways are to do that.

These are just my view, I truly don't mean this to sound judgmental in any way. These are just my personal beliefs.

Also, maybe it would help you feel more at ease to tell the querent when they ask for a reading that when you do a reading you do not know what will come up beforehand. And that some very personal things might possibly come up. And then ask them if they are ok with you seeing that and discussing it with them. If not they will decline the reading. If they say "Sure, go right ahead", then there is not reason to feel uncomfortable with knowing.

Also, if it makes you uncomfortable to know too many personal things about groupd of people like coworkers....then make a rule not to read for those people. And you can just tell them that you do not feel comfortable knowing all kinds of personal things about co-workers (or whatever group of people you are not comfortable knowing these things about) and that it is your policy not to read for them. If they still want a reading and you know another reader you can recommend them instead.

My guess is that if you feel this way, you are a private person yourself and don't like unauthorised people to know too much about your private life and you feel uncomfortable bacause you are extending this to others and expecting them to feel the same way.

But that may or may not be the case. Not everyone is like that. I personally have never minded people knowing personal things about me. And yes seeing personal things about others is part of being a reader. Most people who come to you for readings expect this to happen. People don't come to readers for mundane issues usually like the weather (at least not in my experiece) . They usuallly want help with an issue and real help comes from a deep understanding of who they are underneath.

And I guess the last thing I want to say is that, as a professional reader, I've done lots of readings and lots of very personal things have come up. I personally don't mind this at all, I expect it. Of course I would never tell anyone else, ite is unethical to do so.

But, at the same time, I have never in my years of reading had anyone upset in any way that I knew something personal about them. In my experience, the more of those things that come up, the more helpful the reaidng is and the more grateful the querent is.

But also the most important thing is to follow what YOU feel comfortable with. We are all different. You need to know where to draw your lines and to stand by them. You don't like to know co-workers personal issues? Don't read for them if that is how you feel. We all have our own boundaries for types of readings we will not do. In the end, what matters most is to be true to your self.

Bas

 

[Anna]

I understand your dilemma. I felt like that in the beginning, and I wish I;d had someone then, who would have told me what I'm about to tell you.

The more readings you do, the less you remember out of them. And also, it's as if it's none of your business, it's between your deck and the client. They fade from your memory quickly, unless you deliberately keep thinking about them.

This is exactly my experience too.

Even the readings I do here at AT I quickly forget, along with the user names of the people I've read for.

 

[NikkiB]

I say what i see, I figure if I get the information its because I am meant to pass it on for some reason. I don't believe I would be given information that would harm my sitter, when reading I ask only for appropriate information that is for my sitters highest good. I do present things with tact and caution if I feel the need but I still present them.

My exceptions would be death or miscarriage (unless it was asked about or expected) and then I would still give advice that would help them prepare (see a dr, show someone you love them etc)

once i've done a reading its gone, I don't often remember them, I let them go, because they are not mine to keep I am just the message bearer.

 

[SunChariot]

I say what i see, I figure if I get the information its because I am meant to pass it on for some reason. I don't believe I would be given information that would harm my sitter, when reading I ask only for appropriate information that is for my sitters highest good. I do present things with tact and caution if I feel the need but I still present them.

My exceptions would be death or miscarriage (unless it was asked about or expected) and then I would still give advice that would help them prepare (see a dr, show someone you love them etc)

once i've done a reading its gone, I don't often remember them, I let them go, because they are not mine to keep I am just the message bearer.

Me too. I think it's maybe a matter of trust in the source that sends us the answers that it would never send us anything that we were not meant to know or pass on. That that source is always working in the querent's highest interest.

Me too, I don't tend to remember what a reading said much afterwards either. I don't think about it afterwards, On to the next readings...

Babs

 

[Trogon]

Part of my pre-reading ritual is a dedication to receiving the message the querrent needs to receive. This being the case, I feel I am obligated to pass on all the information which I am able to perceive. If I don't communicate what I've received, I would be doing a disservice to, not only my client, but also the spirits (such as my Guides as well as any spirits of family members of the client) who worked so hard to bring the messages through. (And I don't really want to piss THEM off!)

 

[SunChariot]

Part of my pre-reading ritual is a dedication to receiving the message the querrent needs to receive. This being the case, I feel I am obligated to pass on all the information which I am able to perceive. If I don't communicate what I've received, I would be doing a disservice to, not only my client, but also the spirits (such as my Guides as well as any spirits of family members of the client) who worked so hard to bring the messages through. (And I don't really want to piss THEM off!)

This is pretty well my view too actually. I believe my answers come from my angels. I also ask for help in getting all the right things that the querent needs to hear and that I need to pass on to them. To not pass it all on seems disrespectful to that source to me.

I think that being a Tarot reader in a sense is like bring a therapist, in the sense the client expects us to find out personal things about them. It's part of the job. They know that going in. People who are not willing for others to see personal things about them probably don't ask for readings.

Babs

 

[haleyw]

Thanks so much everyone! You've all made me feel better and given me a lot to think about and some great advise that I'll start using.