Trying to decide where to go next.

[Lalande]

Hello!

For a (hopefully brief) history, I'm 6 months into a 2-year Canadian holiday visa that allows me to have full-time work. My current living arrangement is in a rural-ish area about two hours north of Toronto by public transport where I'm staying with a friend's mother and a few housemates she has to keep her house less lonely. I'm becoming rather depressed as I feel I'm making no progress and believe it's time to move on, but I'm torn between looking for work in Toronto and sticking out the grueling commute until I find a place of my own or starting from scratch in Ottawa. I have intentions of applying for permanent residency next year, so I put down some cards to gain some insight as to the positive and negative of making each move and what the outcome would be regarding my application if I were to be in either place. I'm still relatively new to tarot, so this was done with a Marseilles deck (it was my first deck and a gift) but with RW meanings ascribed to them. Feel free to tell me off if that's no good

Toronto (choice one):
Positive: Ace of pentacles
Negative: 10 of cups
Outcome: 4 of wands (clarifier: 7 of pentacles)

Ottawa (choice two):
Positive: 4 of cups
Negative: The Devil
Outcome: 6 of wands (clarifier: Judgment)

My interpretations:
Choice one: I think the ace of pentacles is saying that the possibility for jobs is strong, but only if I accept positions low on the ladder and prove myself, giving me the chance to rise through ranks. Alternatively, it's a lot of accepting short-term contract gigs. Nevertheless, my interpretation is that I will be okay for work if I change my expectations. The 10 of cups makes me think of my current living situation, the negative being that it will take longer than I expect for me to find a place of my own. I know any social life I try to build will be hindered by my location and I won't be able to stay downtown after work or casually get on a bus to hang out with people on weekends or have them come to my place. I initially thought that the 4 of wands indicated a celebration around my application for permanent residency being successful, but I'm also doubting myself in that it could look like I'm behind the stage looking at people waving goodbye or family at homing celebrating my return, as in the application will not be successful. For that reason, I drew the 7 of pentacles, but that makes me think I abandon the application, maybe? Looking at all those pentacles, everything I've done, and still having one left over. Perhaps my quality of life won't be great because I'll still be isolated, working menial jobs, and I end up doubting myself and not submitting the paperwork after all, that perhaps I think it might be better for me to go back to my home country and start fresh in a new city there.

Choice two: The 4 of cups makes me think that I will have an opportunity or opportunities handed to me that I wouldn't here. Maybe given Ottawa's location, it's being able to improve the French I've started to learn that will give me an edge when I do apply for residency. Maybe the move will be an exercise in being able to live more in the moment. With the Devil as a negative, I wonder if I won't find myself being lonely and having a crutch like drinking more than I usually do (which is rarely), taking up smoking again, or falling into a wrong crowd or jumping in and out of relationships. The only reason I feel this might happen to me is because I've always been somewhat of a doormat and found myself at the whim of others, so this newfound freedom of being in a new city on my lonesome for the first time would make me take advantage of that like a teenager who sneaks out of home to go partying. Similarly with the 4 of wands, the 6 of wands to me can be interpreted either as being victorious that I've succeeded in attaining residency, or it could also be family welcoming me back and there I am, strutting through my home city's airport on my own, the wreath being whatever experiences I can cherish from my time here. Judgment clarifying this, though, makes me think I will at least submit the application, the people on the card coming forward to be judged by the authorities. Whether it's successful or not, I'm not sure, but at least I would have tried.

I'm sorry if this is too long-winded, but I sure do appreciate anybody weighing in

 

[Alta]

Toronto (choice one):
Positive: Ace of pentacles
Negative: 10 of cups
Outcome: 4 of wands (clarifier: 7 of pentacles)

Positive, there is no doubt that there are a wider variety of opportunities in Toronto as the employment spectrum is much broader there. Ottawa is largely government (for which you would need to be a citizen though contract work is available), tech or service. The Ace of Pentacles suggest that at least the potential for decent money is there.

That negative 10 of cups does point out to living arrangements. Not only because your current living arrangements are tiring (the commute) but clearly you have not formed good bonds with the others. Also it points to the massive expense of finding decent accommodations in Toronto.

The outcome is relatively positive but keep in mind that the 7 of pents is not 'work completed' but rather work in progress. The 4 of wands does suggest that you may find a place in Toronto where you feel at home. But the outcome is not certain.

Ottawa (choice two):
Positive: 4 of cups
Since this is in the 'positive' position, coming to Ottawa would make you feel less dissatisfied, having broken away from a situation you don't like. But it isn't exactly glowingly positive, more like leaving something behind rather than running towards something. But still, in the 'positive' position I can see this card as as breaking out of lassitude and a poor mindset.

Negative: The Devil
Are you at all prone to depression? Coming to Ottawa may make it worse. The weather here is terrible if that bothers you. Maybe just something to watch out for.

Outcome: 6 of wands (clarifier: Judgment)
Now this is interesting and a much clearer outcome that the one for Toronto. Between the 6 of Wands and the Judgement card it points to finally breaking through and leaving the past behind.

Are these your only two options? You might consider Alberta if you have the right skill set.

 

[Lalande]

Thanks so much, Alta! I truly appreciate your local insight and personal opinions and have taken them to heart. I was in a court stenographer-type position in Australia, but that doesn't hold much weight here since obviously the laws are different. I can't study for more than six months with the visa I have, so getting up to speed through a college isn't an option since to be qualified takes longer than that. I did complete a course recently in medical transcription, though, to broaden my options. With that said, I have previously strongly considered Alberta as a lot of entry-level legal and full-time transcription (both legal and medical) jobs are seemingly in abundance there, but held myself back from taking the leap because I fear my money reserves aren't as strong as they should be for a move like that. I know there's always the possibility of having a company pay for my relocation, but I don't want to rely on that. I will reevaluate based on your suggestion and ask about the money concerns and maybe repeat the pro/con/outcome spread with Alberta and another area in Ontario such as London. Ottawa was at the forefront of my mind due to the spate of recent and good-looking openings in admin. Letting me know that it's mostly citizen-only or contract work does give me pause, though, as to be successful in obtaining residency, I'll need to be in receipt of a permanent full-time job offer at the time of applying.

I can't say I'm surprised that Toronto has the potential for money, given what the city is. I'm glad I was on the right track with my interpretation of the 10 of cups in the negative position, and you've hit the nail on the head with massive expenses. I've been in the midst of brutal bidding wars for apartment rentals in Australia and I don't really care to repeat that experience, which I know is bound to happen if I want to be downtown. That might make me end up staying where I currently am for longer, and you're right that the bonds aren't quite there. The relationship I have with my friend's mother is becoming toxic. I get along with one of the men who lives here, but sort of in a surrogate father way. The possibility of money in Toronto is appealing, but staying here (which seems like the cards are saying is somewhat inevitable for the time being) is not. The outcome doesn't seem too promising. Thank you for the reminder about the 7 of pentacles being a work in progress! Nothing about Toronto really instills excitement in me like the prospect of other places, so the 7 of pentacles being a work in progress could allude to always trying to chase other opportunities. The 4 of wands on its own doesn't fill me with too much hope, because like you said, it's suggesting that I simply /may/ find a place that feels like home. I think I need more than that.

I struggled with a positive interpretation for the 4 of cups in this scenario, so I'm relieved to hear yours. I agree that it's not glowingly positive, and this makes me think that the breaking out of a poor mindset comes strictly with being away from my living situation. If I can break out of it in Ottawa, why not elsewhere? Saying that it would be more like leaving something rather than running towards something has hit me hard. It's absolutely correct for where I am right now but is something I've tried to justify rather than sitting back and allowing myself to go, "You know what, I just /want/ to do this." It seems like the card has called me out! I have had bouts of depression in the past, and hearing this interpretation for the Devil makes more sense to me than becoming randomly addicted to something. I'm still in the zone where harsh winters and massive winds and the like are new and exciting to me, but I imagine it would get old fast when I'm in the thick of it. You're right that the outcome is interesting for this particular choice. It seems a lot more positive to me than Toronto for sure (or in general for that matter), but again, the chance is there for it to happen elsewhere.

I'm going to revisit Alberta and see what the cards have to suggest about that, because the prospects of Edmonton made me excited when I first explored it. If it's not super clear to me, I might come back. You have given me a lot to think about, Alta, and even though it may not seem like it, you've made me face some hard truths about my current state and reevaluate what it is I actually want and need. Thank you again!