These two are very good as "partners in crime" (meaning, when something clever needs to be done, they'll happily put their heads together to do it). And if that's what they each want in their life partner, then it will work. But I agree that they also like to be in control and do things their way. Which means they might do better with...let's call them "Mellow" sorts
People who are flexible, easy going. So if the Queen says, "I have to have it exactly this way" her partner will say, "Sure, why not?" rather than, like the Magician, "That way? But there are so many other ways it could be. We could do this, or this, or this..." Which will drive her crazy. Likewise, a mellow partner would be good for the Magician. So if he says, "I think I'd like to fly to Paris today," they'll say, "Sure, why not?" rather than, like the Queen, "I've got an important thing happening today, it was on the calendar, I've planned it for weeks...no, we can't fly to Paris today!"
About that flying-to-Paris: we should remember that the Magician is mercurial (literally and figuratively
). His is the quick wit that gets easily bored and switches to something else. That's why you sense that he's "not very successful" at things. He absolutely could be successful, wildly so, but he like a master chess player. Once he sees where the game is going, and that he's going to win, he says, "That's done..." and moves to the next game. That's why he's the second card in the deck--like the Fool, he's about starting things, but not necessarily about finishing them.
This also, by the way, relates to his tools. Yes, he has a lot of them, and this means he has an advantage because whatever the situation calls for, he has the right tool on hand. But having so many tools also undermines his long-term focus, because if he does get bored with one, he can switch to another. The Queen can't do that, and so has a much more laser like if less advantageous focus.
In summation
...the Queen/Swords has a razor sharp mind that would certainly keep the Magician interested; they could talk for hours and never get tired of each other; they could come up with amazing ideas and projects together or work out problems together; but she's more serious about seeing things through. So while she may not mind the Magician dropping one of
his projects to go on to another, she would mind if his switching projects interfered with whatever she was working on.
Thus, if the two want a lasting relationship, they need to allow themselves separate interests, even separate lives that intersect. They aren't the sort of couple that can be joined at the hip, in each other's company 24/7. If they want that kind of relationship, they'd probably do better, as said, with someone who loves to let them lead and be clever and talk, rather than someone who also wants to lead, be clever and talk.