reading for others vs self

[hermit-IX]

there seems to be a larger consensus that reading for others is more accurate

but how can that be

when you read for yourself or other people you know all the details of the story and are able to more clearly see how the cards would make sense in that particular situation

when you're reading for others it seems like your'e just taking shots in the dark

 

[AnemoneRosie]

I find it difficult to read for myself because I have an emotional investment in the outcome. Those emotions cloud my intuition and make it difficult for me to see what the cards are saying in a clear way.

For instance, if an upsetting card comes up for me, my first thought is "oh no!" and I get upset. So I lose its meaning in the reading - it might even be telling me that this energy is on the way out, but I don't see that because my emotions don't let me get that far.

When I read for others and that same card comes up I have the distance to be able to phrase it kindly, or to say in a nice way "it seems that [theme of reading] has been really challenging for you lately" before getting into it, which gives my querent a chance to steel themselves.

 

[gregory]

Knowing all the details ahead of time is exactly what makes it so hard. You have too much invested and you already have a viewpoint before you start. I don't do it for that reason.

The same goes for reading for friends.

You read for your best friend, who asks you about her relationship, as he just proposed - and you already think the guy is a jerk. It is very hard to cope with the cards if they come up with "he will be your perfect husband..." VERY hard to deliver that message convincingly; very hard to make yourself admit that.

 

[hermit-IX]

i have had a couple of times where i was hesitant because if was like 'no way' like gregory said...but for the most part i'm pretty open to good and bad 'cards'

unless i have a lot of the story i don't know how i would read for others

 

[AnemoneRosie]

You could try one of the exchanges here, to start? It gives you a good taste of what it's like to read for someone else without a lot of back story.

I find that, when I know too much back story, I risk becoming judgemental or with confirmation bias. If I'm neutral and impartial than the cards are free to do their work.

 

[hermit-IX]

You could try one of the exchanges here, to start? It gives you a good taste of what it's like to read for someone else without a lot of back story.

I find that, when I know too much back story, I risk becoming judgemental or with confirmation bias. If I'm neutral and impartial than the cards are free to do their work.

ok i can see your point...i did try..and i was completely off at times...

like one time there was justice reversed .... and the girl was asking how someone felt about her....i said she may have done something wrong in his eyes...well she responded with more detail and it turns out they were also co workers...knowing that i think it makes more sense to say that he's hesitant to get involved to get involved due to the work relationship...

 

[AnemoneRosie]

In which case, yes, she had indeed done something wrong in his eyes. She'd broken the common consensus that states "don't date your coworkers" and he wasn't okay with that.

So while you were correct, you ran in to the all too frequent problem of querents asking questions about which they're not ready to hear an honest answer.

 

[RavenOfSummer]

I mostly read for myself, and that's the main reason I was interested to start reading tarot to begin with, though I'm enjoying starting to read a little bit for others as well. I primarily use it to show me truths that I otherwise don't have access to/are out of my reach. I guess it depends what you want out of a tarot reading. For me it forces me to face how I really feel or what I really need to see, even if the truth is difficult or painful.

 

[UniversesCollide]

I have trouble reading for myself, can't usually tell the difference between intuition and emotional bias when I'm that close to the situation. I still use the cards for myself to help contemplate situations and look for new perspectives but I don't trust predictive readings and usually exchange with a friend for that. We've exchanged readings for years, she probably knows me better than anyone else does, including family members, but we manage to read well for each other and overcome bias issues. usually LOL

 

[Kalisti]

I find reading for myself pretty easy, although I've been doing it for a long time now and I started using a cartomancy system which was straight, to the point, and generally not ambiguous. In the system I used, very few of the cards had alternative meanings and a specific court card was selected to represent the querent. It was pretty hard to twist the meanings of playing cards to my fancy, and I think that helped me see the cards, even for myself, with very little bias. My first year or so with tarot I struggled with that, but with practice they began speaking to me almost as bluntly as the playing cards before them.

Sometimes I give readings to my closest friends, and with one of them I can tell her how it is through the cards, even when I don't necessarily like what they're telling me. She prefers being given the harsh truth, though, which makes it easier, and of the few people I regularly read for she is the most receptive and honest. I started doing tarot to get better at seeing other sides, though, and being open to things beyond my perception. Another friend of mine is more difficult to read for, she's much more sensitive and I find myself sugar coating her readings. Reading for my husband is actually the worst, because he's never as "present" as I'd like. He only lets me because I'm his wife so, I seldom read for him anymore.

Just recently I've begun doing readings for people in the exchange forum here and it's so far ended up being simpler than I expected. I'm thinking about applying for one of those apps or websites, even. At first it was a little stressful, because you don't know these people intimately, but surprisingly that hasn't gotten in the way yet.

With all of my readings, I factor my intuition into the meanings of the cards themselves. Sometimes the intuitive part is pretty quiet or I don't get much of an impression, but often times at least one card screams something at me in a combination of traditional meaning (or a specific meaning, in cases of cards with multiple options) and my intuition. One time the death card was literal. I flipped it over and just knew. It ended up being the truth.