There has been some readings posted that I think may be good for you to read through... lots of good bits information.
is she having an affair and it continues with
a brother's concern
how will I know if he has been faithful
Collaborative Spread Creation #2 - Infidelity thread.
Here are two spreads that you may find helpful. It may help you gather some information about whether or not there has been cheating, at least based on what the parties in the relationship consider cheating.
Cat's Past/Present/Future Cheating Record Spread (posted in that Collaborative Spread Creation #2)
"Why not split up question 2 into a past/present/future thing? That way, we would cover not only the present moment (see above for why that might be difficult) but we would also cover what may have happened in the past but stopped or what may happen in the future but hasn't begun, yet. As a reader, I'd roughly define the time frames for each position dependent on the querent's situation (i.e. married for 25 years already vs. just stopped dating others three months ago). I also would not be comfortable to read to far into the future, so I would set a limit there, too (BeyondtheVeil has suggested a year)."
1. What has happened in terms of cheating in the past?
2. What is happening in terms of cheating in the present?
3. What will likely happen in terms of cheating in the future if the relationship continues the way it is now?
My Fidelity Clarification Spread (8) by Glass Owl
I basically took a lot of people's ideas (Cat, SilentBreeze, le fey, rwcarter, afrosaxon, BeyondTheVeil, etc) from the Collaborative Spread Creation Thread and threw my own ideas into the mix. This is what I came up with. Modify to suit your own needs.
1--7--8
2------
3--4---
5------
6------
1. Current state of the relationship
2 Partner's view of fidelity in this relationship
3. Querent's view of fidelity in this relationship
4. Why the Querent suspects their partner has cheated on them in the past 3 months or that their partner will cheat on them in the next 3 months.*
5. What the Querent needs to know about the partner's fidelity or lack thereof
6. The most important thing the Querent needs to know about what's going on with the partner.
7. What does the querent need to know most about dealing with the situation**
8. How will the relationship change/not change in the next 3 months*
* You can change the time frame to something else if you prefer.
** "This could point to many different things, depending on the previous cards. It also depends on the querent's own limits. For example, some people are willing and able to let infidelity go if it's over already; others would still feel deeply betrayed and would want to leave/kick out their partner. Others again may get advice about improving the relationship to avoid cheating in the future here." -Cat
