Pet peeves

junethird said:

But online, i do feel its important to atleast clear up who is who in the situation thats being asked about. Because ive had readers assume i was a male and thats awkward, and ive done the same, assumed my sitter was female when in fact 'she' was a 'he' -ooops!!!!

But if you are able to tap in into who x and y are then more power to you thats awesome. I wish i was that fluid with my spidey senses lol

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Agreed. I typically ask ahead of time if the situation calls if my sitter is seeking a man or woman or if they prefer being called a specific gender. I do it first and foremost out of respect. I don't want to be assuming anything, and a lot of those who I read for appreciate the extra care I take by asking something so simple. The fact it adds context to help me with the reading is an additional occasional perk.

My personal pet peeve: People who don't even send a thank you after I complete their readings online. Free or paid when I hear nothing back at all I'm not sure whether my sitter enjoyed the reading or not. I'm not a "No news is good news" kind of person

My only real peeve is querents who are close mouthed the entire reading in an attempt to test how psychic you are. I've had this a few times with tarot skeptics who sit in front of you with crossed arms glaring at you from across the table. I'm sorry, did I profess to be John Edwards or someone? Trust me if I had serious psychic talent I'd do something with it other than impress skeptics for free. I'd probably do day trading of stocks and be a millionaire. ;p


It's a consultation, that means we have a back and forth conversation in which I impart my understanding of these bits of coloured paper and you make comment on what I'm saying so that we both go down a useful path for you.

AmethystEyes said:

I know what you mean, they judge your question and then twist the cards to make it how they feel about the situation. Which is why I usually dont like going into details. It helps info flow freely with any prejudices.

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Yep! I notice that and hate it too. Then when you tell them they're wrong, they say they're just being honest and don't be mad if it's not what you wanted to hear. Some people just have serious issues. I agree with you on the details, sometimes people judge you instead of just reading the cards.

SwordOfTruth said:

It's a consultation, that means we have a back and forth conversation in which I impart my understanding of these bits of coloured paper and you make comment on what I'm saying so that we both go down a useful path for you.

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I so agree with this! Now granted I am only an amateur reader and have almost never read for money. But for me a reading should be interactive; I am not the all-seeing tarot goddess and it is your life, your details. If I describe something in tarotic terms, everything flows so much better if you can translate that into an aspect of your life in concrete terms. imo, that makes the reading ultimately richer for both querent and reader.

Alta said:

I so agree with this! Now granted I am only an amateur reader and have almost never read for money. But for me a reading should be interactive; I am not the all-seeing tarot goddess and it is your life, your details. If I describe something in tarotic terms, everything flows so much better if you can translate that into an aspect of your life in concrete terms. imo, that makes the reading ultimately richer for both querent and reader.

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I've never read any other way and doubt I ever will. The immediacy of the "consultation" setting is a big part of the pleasure I get from reading for others. I have to think on my feet and come up with relevant observations to feed into the evolving dialogue; the challenge is truly energizing. Granted, while sitting at my desk with a spread in front of me and typing my thoughts into an e-mail might allow for more nuanced impressions, it lacks the human element and can too easily degrade into an abstract "one-way" exercise. I would also miss the look of wonder I see on the faces of many sitters when the cards hit the bullseye, usually after some stimulating back-and-forth on the more subtle details of the reading. I've said before that I consider reading for someone a "mutual voyage of discovery" that can unfold in entirely unexpected directions, and I often take away as much value as I deliver. Of course, I'm not trying to make a living at it, so my personal motivation is more philosophical than material.

This one I think falls under the category of "querents who insist you are wrong, because you don't indulge in their fantasies or what they WANT to be right - just had a reading which I took pro bono because that man really seemed like he would need help. OK so his question was "what is my purpose in life". I started to do my reading, talked to him for like 40 minutes, and he said - "no, you are wrong. my purpose it to do global great things and become famous in history". That was all. He left. :/

delinfrey said:

This one I think falls under the category of "querents who insist you are wrong, because you don't indulge in their fantasies or what they WANT to be right - just had a reading which I took pro bono because that man really seemed like he would need help. OK so his question was "what is my purpose in life". I started to do my reading, talked to him for like 40 minutes, and he said - "no, you are wrong. my purpose it to do global great things and become famous in history". That was all. He left. :/

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Hmm, a narcissist with delusions of grandeur? He was clearly just looking for reinforcement, not insight, and probably came predisposed to disagree. I hope he doesn't waste anyone else's time without paying for it (but he probably will). Did the cards give any intimations of greatness at all, or were they mainly prosaic?

No grandeur whatsoever. Perhaps only a tiny proclivity to alcoholism, which could -feed- the grandeur...

junethird said:

I totally agree that context is important. For me personally, ive gotten the best most accurate readings when i answered the questions the reader needed from me. But then again, those were readings done in person and it was obvious i was a female and i was asking about a man... But online, i do feel its important to at least clear up who is who in the situation that's being asked about. Because I've had readers assume I was a male and that's awkward, and I've done the same, assumed my sitter was female when in fact 'she' was a 'he' -ooops!!!!

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Absolutely. As I said before, it makes it MUCH clearer to the reader and the message if we know beforehand who is asking, who the reading is about and the context. If we want to steer Tarot reading from the hocus pocus of knowing it all, then wouldn't it make sense to get some idea of what/who we're reading for ? The same way I am open to all kinds of readings, I can't "assume" that if my querent is a female , that she is looking for a male partner. It's NOT about intruding or being prejudiced: it's about helping the person as he/she is and working with his/her reality. I admit that some highly experienced readers may already "know" the whole situation just by intuiting it. Alas, I haven't reached this level of expertise yet. And I don't believe I ever will

crystalrose said:

Yep! I notice that and hate it too. Then when you tell them they're wrong, they say they're just being honest and don't be mad if it's not what you wanted to hear. Some people just have serious issues. I agree with you on the details, sometimes people judge you instead of just reading the cards.

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I do realize that some people are like that, they dont want to hear the truth, but as a reader I realize I could be wrong! I would never force my reading on someone, I can only tell them what I see/feel.