Dream of meeting a friend from a good friend of mine, meeting him and wanting to get to know him better, he is interesting and funny and seemingly kind. We had a nice flow going on with jokes and talking.
i bought a box of chocolate bonbons at the tabaco shop somewhere, because i am quite down and i walk down the stairs and meet him, he is seemingly nice again&funny, he is happy to see me vica versa. we exchange phone nrs. It was winter no snow yet, but i feel a christmas eve feeling and have a red long scarve around my neck, i think he had a capuchinno brown one. He lifts my mood and i trust him way too soon. ^^;; (it's food or connections with me isn't it!
)
we meet in a forest that is in my dreams and in reality but just pieces of the reality part. I have seen this forest before. We go with a grey dog/wolf. I see a flash of my black sisterdog layla, she looks cautious, she might be a bit scared even.
the wolf is going in the pond/sea i worry because i don't know if he has gone swimming before he goes really deep under the water there!! First he put his head under water and there where allot of bubbles and foam going to the surface, he knew how to handle the water! I wanted to explore the forest and go further, wanted to show him the beautifull dreamy scenery with fluffy trees of light pink and soft light pink grain thingies and grass and then look beyond. But suddenly!
We were in an old beautifull room that had darkred very fancy old (but all in good shape) darkred or a red i'm not sure. With darkmahogany framing. There where at least to chairs like that and a dark (chocolate
) shiney mahogany (recently glazed with that glazing stuff!) coffeetable. There where at least two owl ornaments, one tiny and one sized like a real one, perhaps it was a real one! I remember seeing a golfgreen colour too don't know on what! Maybe a rug or on the desk. There was a fireplace and he was going to make chocolate milk for us two. (i thought of how my boyfriend recently made chocomilk for us, it was with powder in milk, cold
) The house was of two friends/family members of him.
(I hope this dreamscene is not too much, i'll be happy to delete it if i must!)
i thought it was all going to be innocent and playfull and romantic, something that has been missing a while with my own boyfriend. ( I love him very much and it's getting better, but our relationship has to heal, and we have to get out the one room apartment we live in.
) thought it was going to be, but then i suddenly was in a big bed. T_T and i still thought it would be innocent and playfull all with a bit of fluttery feelings mixed with friendly but not going too far, naïve me!! it's a freeaking bed! And then he broke the spell and ewww he did shtuff :S it was suprising to me even though i was in a bed, and i asked him why he did that, he said he wanted to feel what it was like (eww stoopid douche) when he said that i saw my boyfriend instead of him looking downwards confused , and at that time (even then o_0 snap out of it missy!) i thought about how i did not shave some lines (in reality i have to shave way more then just that stupid area. >.> but i degress) Hoping that he would seize his actions i shouted i am not even prepaired! when that did not work i had to use psychical force and whent away or struggled away lol, in the forest by the pond a rainbow crystal coloured fish and frog, and a cute bird (duck?) maybe a seahorse (not sure if the wolf was there) came too cheer me up. I held on too a crystal rainbow coloured dolphin (thank you db
the crystal itself was a dark purple, the undertone of it) and the whole expierence was very soothing and comforting as i hanged unto the fins of mister dolphin. (or misses!)
I thought to myself i feel calm and safe and happy now, but this does not amends the wrongs i have to take responsibility for. I was shocked and dissapointed at that person, he was not who i thought he was. And he broke the dreambubble by his actions. I thought of that i did not feel anything except confusion and shock but today i got reminded of how i can forget big less positive events for a while because it's too much at that moment.
(I was in the store today irl, and i heard that a man fell, when i got outside he was standing and people where talking to him that he should go to the hospital, i felt relieved that he was okay, when i got home i wanted to tell a friend but i forgot when we talked about other things, later it popped up.
Maybe a handy mechanisme somewhere for the moment, but i have to make sure i don't numb my feelings, trying be kind to myself and to allow myself to feel the sad stuffs when i can!!! It can turn into fysical errors in my bodysystem! I practice when i feel sad feelings when i watch movies/series and such, because it's more safe to allow myself to feel those feelings and it feels very healthy to feel sad and let my emotions be&flow in a gentle way, but i notice that the wall is quite firm and stands strong, that feels okay too because i'm working on it when i can lol and allowing it at least. Maybe this mechanisme holds a clue for you too! I thought it was important to add. )
i was home (at my moms place) And i saw a lightblue oldtimer car maybe a beetle and a lightbrown skinned guy with black&white clothing and high curly hair. He was laughing and i knew that that idiot guy was with him and put him up to this. He was at the backdoor and i was confronted with guilt and how to explain this to my boyfriend. I did not want to see him sad,but i could not not explain, when the realities i kept apart in my mind mixed, i became conscious of it. how unfair this was and not how i wanted to go about it, the guy started to act a bit insane in a non good way, and mean way, i felt like he wanted to say things and ruin my relationship for fun. I knew that even though the rainbow crystal friends gave me a feeling that the chapter was closed and i was over it, i had to face it and be true in why and what to my boyfriend too. Even if it whent too far i whent to far in allowing myself to be there, allowing those split realities to excist, not really facing them when i was conscious in either. Wanted to tell him the truth of allowing myself to be there and experience what i was missing allot in our relationship.
ugh heavy dream that makes me realize o.a. that i should keep the romantic needs in my fantasies and not allow an opening for more. To be conscious about that it's not just a dream to get carried away in. LOL
and so the dream ended!
Except for a part where there was a road with allot of cars where there was game where you had to cross the road and avoid the cars but you could only stop for a little while i think. I did it too. There where also some strippers doing that. ;P
i don't know if there is something you can get out of this, hope it makes sense and is not too shocking. ^^;; *hughug* you made me a special dolphin indeed!
again no detail. I saw a cat come to me, and while I do have a cat as a guide, it has not come to me in a long while, and this was not the same cat I have as a guide. This cat came to me and just stared, you know how cats do. it was an orange cat and I do recall it walking up to me and turning around, so I got a good look at it and it's tail was the orange fur with lines in it--so just an orange cat. nice green eyes, not too green that they glowed, just plain green eyes. it sat down, wrapped its tail around it's feet and then looked right at me and stared.......................