Sorry for the late response! I haven't been online again until now, was running around a bit the past two days. I'm glad to have come back to several responses, though sorry to have kept you waiting.
Interestingly, I had a certain thing in mind when I posted my request, but I think many of you are picking up on something different that's also been in my thoughts a lot lately. Several of you have mentioned the ending of something which has been distressing to me. I've gained a lot of confidence and belief in my self-worth and I very recently made the decision to cut several toxic people out of my life. It was painful, especially because some were friends including the friend I knew the longest, and one was my father who had been inactive in my life and then ended up not even showing up to my wedding. I cut out a few other friends too.
With most if not all of these people, I had felt like I was getting around to having a better relationship with them, but my newfound confidence and ability to stand up for myself caused conflict and I realized I don't have to stand for poor treatment, which they continued to heap on me. Lots of narcissism I've realized I don't have to put up with. It was painful because I do care about the people, and I try to understand why they've treated me poorly so I can forgive them, but I'm finally setting boundaries. Forgiveness to me no longer means I have to let myself continue to be hurt. The door is open to everyone to come back into my life someday, but I won't allow it if they don't treat me better. None of these people has bothered seeking me out to apologize for anything. It definitely feels like betrayal. Overall though, I'm much more mentally healthy after making steps towards finally setting healthy boundaries.
I think the above situation is what many of you picked up on, though it's interesting that's what you got more of because I've been focused on something else in the forefront of my mind, though that was definitely there too.
What I was actually wondering about is this: I highly suspect I'm pregnant. I took some home tests and was frustrated by the inconsistency and confusion of it, though I got a blood test done today and am excited to find out for sure, though anxious I have to wait for it to be sent somewhere! I should hear tomorrow at the earliest, Monday at the latest. My husband and I both want kids and we've discussed it a lot over the years, and we'll be fine either way though we had planned on waiting for our finances to be better. I've always made fun of the people asking for tarot readings about pregnancy, but when I realized how frustrating the home tests are I joked I might as well have done that instead!
The comment about "a fluttering heart" is certainly encouraging in the pregnancy regard. As for "I feel it has something to do with the people in that circle, (whether it is you personally & someone else) or work relationships/extended family relationships or even a friend who is not seeing something that YOU know is true."...I've been upset that I'm almost certain I am pregnant, but my husband won't believe me til he sees the medical proof. Though I can't really blame him and it won't matter when we get the results!
I've been trying to trust my intuition a lot more. My husband thinks I'm only certain I'm pregnant because I realized how much I want to be, so I'm hoping I am, and I can't deny the possibility of that. We argued a bit about if my physical symptoms are pregnancy or just stress, though it's always hard to tell! I have been stressed lately. I struggle with anxiety and I'm sure we've all been in the place of convincing ourselves of something we want to be true. A few times, alone and quiet, I focused on letting go of thought and focusing on only what I feel, and it sounds half crazy when I put it into words, but in those moments there was no doubt I'm right. The longer I've had to wait to find out the truth, the more I've started to doubt myself. I figure even if I am wrong and I'm not actually pregnant, it was better to trust myself enough to get the test done. I'll definitely also be more ready to handle the process if I do end up needing to wait to purposefully try for a baby later.
I've rambled a lot here! At least I put the most pertinent info in bold. I'm anxious to find out the truth because, even though I hadn't realized it until I was staring at those pregnancy tests, I'll be disappointed if I'm wrong. Though even if I am, I hate waiting around to know! I think I'll be fine in the end either way, though I'll appreciate any positive thoughts my way soon.
Though I suppose if you HAD been pregnant that would have led to an end - for a while - to any job you had....