Help! Spread needed!

Hi everybody. I'm rather new to Tarot but have definitelly decided to stop reading various books (which I have been doing for SO long) and to do some readings. I want to approach to them seriously and with respect. I also have a friend who is ready to help me, who has a question which has been bothering him for some time.

So here is what my problem seems to be. My friend is gay (that's not the problem) and I know we will be doing some readings on that. He is 34 years old and has been troubled by his sexuallity for quite some time. Main concerns are (for him) - should I step out of the closet? What about my parents? (He is concerned that the truth about him will 'kill' them). What impact will that have on my position at work? What will the future bring?

Now, what spread should I use and what kind of question should I ask the Tarot? Should I use some sort of alternative spread (what will happen if I come out, and what if I don't do that?) or some past-present-future spread?

Do you know some right spread for that and how would you formulate the question?

Many thanks!

spunch, you may find Joan Bunning's site really useful in helping your friend to formulate a question etc.... The whole course is at http://www.learntarot.com.

For formulating a question, have a look at http://www.learntarot.com/less7.htm
which has some great advice, in particular on how to ask questions that empower the querent as against attempting to pass across responsibility to the cards. I think it is really important that you help your friend do this for themselves so they hone in on what they really want to know - not what someone else thinks they ought to know.

Once your friend has a well formulated question that makes sense to them, then take a look at some of the Tarot Spreads right here - and I'm sure people will have some suggestions. It's a little hard (for me anyway) to recommend a spread until you have a good question....although personally when I started I found that a 3 or 4 card spread was far more manageable for my learning than something like the Celtic Cross or one of the larger relationship spreads.

Past/ present/ future is useful for a lot of issues!

Aerin

a 3 card P.P.F....does the trick rather simply.
But a horseshoe could also work for this issue (an expanded ppf)
1. past conditions
2. present situation
3. future outlook
4. best approach
5. other's attitudes
6. challenges
7. final outcome

Thank you very much for your answers. I'll try to help my friend formulate the question properly and then we will go for either a horseshoe spread or a three-four card spread (maybe one for past, one for present and two for future).

My advise

would be to do the spread as open as possible. Doing a path way or choice spread in this situation would be to offer a solution that in worst case could be wrong.

Horse shoe spread is great, because it gives invironment insigt to, which I understand your friend will want.

Another spread to go with the horseshoe, is the starlight spread.

First you read the horse shoe, kind of "a matter of facts" spread.
Then the starlight, as "what is behind facts".

http://www.anjastarot.dk/spreads/altcelticcross/TheHorseShoe.htm

http://www.anjastarot.dk/spreads/mandalas/TheStarlightSpread.htm

Do a dialoque with your friend and the cards, make him part of what the readings means - coming out of the closet is a "one man's choice" - but he can achieve great benefits of letting tarot show him, what he is up against.

Be sure to tell him, that tarot will NOT tell him what to do here.

Anywhooo that is what I think could be done

Spunch, you've definitely gotten some very good ideas here.
Lunalafey's horseshoe spread sure looks like it would work good. But having said that... ;

I don't normally recommend the Celtic Cross spread for anybody... (especially someone who is relatively new to Tarot). However, there are times when I find that it can give real insight into a particular area of concern for a person. It can give a real in-depth look. This might be one of those times. There was a thread in this forum a while back about people's personal versions of the Celtic Cross, where many people (including your's truly ) posted some very good variations of this venerable Tarot spread. You can see this thread at;

http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=9708

Perhaps one of those might work out for you?

My advice.

Begin at the beginning.

Go Slow! Unless you strive for mediocrity.

Begin with three card spreads. Begin doing three card readings (for others). Do them for-ever. Do a lot of them.

Three card readings are versatile, and accurate. More cards do not always mean better readings (but they look good on TV).

There is no need to advance to a five card spread until you have at least six months of reading under your belt.

Buy a spiral notebook. Use it as a Journal (very important). Write down every reading (both cards and your interpretation).

Only read for yourself no more than once a week.

Read old threads in the Archives. Read the text sections.

I’d like to paraphrase and twist the words of another, “Confine yourself to observing and you will always miss the point…in life, the object can be stated this way. 'Live the best life you can. Life is a game whose rules you learn if you leap in, and play it to the hilt. Otherwise, you are caught off balance, continually surprised by the shifting play. Non-Players often whine and complain that life passes then by. They refuse to see that they create their own luck.” The same goes with Tarot. To truly learn, you have to read – you have to make mistakes (but stay within the bounds of ethics)…read too many books, and you are and observer, and not a learner…Remember, knowledge that does not act is useless.

Thanks everybody for your support and kind advice. Slowly but patinently I will embark on a journey of Tarot-learning process. I like Umbrae's quote - read too many books, and you are an observer, and not a learner. I started making my own journal. Slowly I'm progressing through the major arcana. But really it has been helpful... Did a three-card daily reading for myself today - for the first time, and I am quite pleased with my observations. So many things I wrote down in the morning came to be true this evening... So I'll stick to the three card reading. I don't think I am able to grasp anything more than that for the time being. If my friend thinks this is a 'small' spread, he will just have to wait until I can cope with something more complicated.

Thanks once more (of course, and that goes to the people who suggested other than the three card spread, I copied all your posts to my journal. They will come in handy one day, I'm sure!)