jrr01 said:
I don't have a problem spending on books, I just want it to come from my self.
Eventually the meanings do come from yourself, but first you have to have a structure for those internal signals to bounce off of - the structure is provided initially by a system, whether it's Sylvie's or the Treppner course, or some other method. If you choose a system that resonates with you and stick with it, the cards will begin to speak to you via the system you've chosen. The system becomes a bridge between you and the cards, and the longer you stay with it, the stronger the bridge will be.
Remember: System=context. Without context, the cards represent disembodied bits of information flying through the air. The system selects from that information according to its own rules and arranges the bits in a way that is internally consistent and sensible. If you discipline yourself to learning a system, the system will train your understanding and at that point, the meanings will come from within you and you will be able to explore other systems and methods without confusion.
And let the learning process (which never ends) be fun! The Lenormand, more than any other type of cards I've encountered, works best when it's approached with relaxation, good humor and a spirit of lively, open-minded curiosity.