Ethics on Where to Read Cards


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SunChariot  SunChariot is offline
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As for the ethics of it, I would not do it in a place where I thought it might be offensive to others. IF it was, I would stop immediately and yes even apologise for any pain I caused and tell them it had not occured to me anyone might feel thay way but I do respect them and will put my deck away now. And I would wish them all the best.

I do believe that we are all equal and have equal rights. Because of that the way I see it is that if I wanted to read in a public place, but someone else would be bothered by it, they win.

To me, in a case like that the person whose pain would be strongest should get their way. We are all exactly equal. What that means to me is that while no one is more important than us, it also means that we ourselves are also not more important than anyone else. So that is how I judge it, the person whose need is greatest should win, and things should be done their way.

In reality, it is not hurting me one bit not to read right then and there. I will do an infinite number of more readings in my lifetime. Does it really matter at then end of my life if I had done 99,005 readings or 99, 004? What's one more or less really? What will matter to me though at the end of my life is how kind I was to the others I came in contact with in my life. To me that is the essense of how I see the meaning of life.


For me, I can always easily just pick up my deck and go somewhere else to read and no real harm done to me. But to inflict discomfort on someone who is really bothered by it...it would cause them more pain if I go on and do it, than it would cause me to stop and do it elsewhere. it's that simple to me.

It is not a need in me to do it at that exact moment in time no matter what. But it might well be a need in them that I stop.

That is what I feel is fair. The one who would suffer most should get their way. And some people really are quite bothered by it. It may not be logical and we all may know that there is nothing negative in Tarot. But we do live in a world where not everyone knows that. And some are truly scared and troubled by it.

It's like if you imagine how you would feel if someone was doing something that you found truly upsetting right next to you while you were eating and would not stop. If you would not like that feeling or how that feels to you, then to me it is not right to make others feel that way. Not to mention the karma of all that.

When I was a child and my parents were bringing us up, they talked A LOT about freedom and licence. And the gist of that lesson is that you have the absolute right to do anything you want in your life, AS LONG AS you are not hurting others or causing them pain by your actions. Once your actions are causing another pain, you no longer have that right. Not hurting others comes first. That is in my upbringing so it is who I am.

Well those are my personal thoughts and beliefs on that,

Babs
Top   #131
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunChariot
It's like if you imagine how you would feel if someone was doing something that you found truly upsetting right next to you while you were eating and would not stop. If you would not like that feeling or how that feels to you, then to me it is not right to make others feel that way. Not to mention the karma of all that.

Babs

Well I think to me thats one of my points. I would sit and tolerate it if someone else was doing something I didn't care for or like. We have all been in that situation...But to complain is a waste of time and energy when you know its such a small moment in your life.

I don't like to see woman breast-feed in public. I feel its a very private situation and, in fact, makes me a little uncomfortable However, I do not complain because I feel they have that right...I just forget about it and go with my business.

So I guess I feel the same for me. If I am doing something that someone else finds uncomfortable or offensive, then deal with and worry about the real issues in your world. Don't waste your time making a big deal about it...Most of the times it really isn't a big deal.
Top   #132
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Quote:
Originally Posted by direwolf336
Well I think to me thats one of my points. I would sit and tolerate it if someone else was doing something I didn't care for or like. We have all been in that situation...But to complain is a waste of time and energy when you know its such a small moment in your life.

I don't like to see woman breast-feed in public. I feel its a very private situation and, in fact, makes me a little uncomfortable However, I do not complain because I feel they have that right...I just forget about it and go with my business.

So I guess I feel the same for me. If I am doing something that someone else finds uncomfortable or offensive, then deal with and worry about the real issues in your world. Don't waste your time making a big deal about it...Most of the times it really isn't a big deal.
I guess if it gets to the point that someone feels the need to complain, it is a big deal to them.

It depends on how much it bothers you. I'd rather people don't breast feed in public too. I'm not even a private person that much by nature, but that to me is a very very private stituation. And it would really bother me if I was sitting next to my bf and this woman has a breast out. At that point I'd get up and walk out. And if he wants to stay my bf it would be a good thing for him to follow me and not stay there and gawk.

This may be getting off topic, but to me of course women have the right to feed their babies. If the baby needs to eat, it needs to eat and you can't expect them to not feed them. The child has a right to eat.

But it also seems to me that there is always somewhere private where there are only women to do it nearby, even if it is just a washroom. So whether they have the right to do it in public, I'm not so sure of that. No one did that in public in my lifetime until fairly recently and babies were still getting fed. To me its a right only if there is really no other way. If there is another way to do it, then it should be done that other way to me. And there must be becasue I have only seen women breast-feeding in public two times in my life.

Back to Tarot though, some people really are scared of it.
and seeing something that you don't want to see is somewhat different than actually being scared by something someone is doing next to you. If you're scared it's not a small moment in your life, but an important one.

Anyway those people are in the minority thankfully and the time we read in the busy restaurant it did not bother anyone at all.

Babs
Top   #133
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When I had the jewelry/art gallery I would have the AT web site up and have the cards in my hands. When customers came in I would put the cards down and tend to the customers. I didn't care if they saw them. Having the cards in the public eye never impeded my sales. I even did a couple of readings for friends in the gallery when it was quite.

However, I prefer to read in private and not public. I don't know how the readers do it at Metaphysical Fairs when there is so much noise I can't hear myself think!
Top   #134
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I'd fight for a woman's and baby's right to breastfeed, anywhere, before I'd put up as much fight to let someone read a book or read Tarot.

Breastfeeding is the most natural and healthiest way to feed a baby, and everyone has a right to eat when they need to eat, especially little ones. I think what makes us uncomfortable about it is the fact that our culture has made the breast exclusively a sexual object, forgetting its purpose. We're trained to see it as sexual even when it's not presented or used that way.

I disagree with the expectation that breastfeeding should be done in a washroom. There are regulations about the distance of kitchens from restrooms, barriers between them, and so forth in most public health codes that govern restaurants, for sanitary reasons, yet we expect a baby to take its nourishment in a restroom? Would any adult want to be told they have to eat in the restroom? I've seen people with table manners that upset me more than any baby breastfeeding.

Most women I've known who breastfeed try to be discreet, and if they must feed in public most use a blouse or blanket for cover. But then I wouldn't want to have to eat with a blanket over my face either. I think that neither mom nor baby should be expected to stay out of sight. And if they're expected to, why don't more places have private, comfortable places for babies to be fed?

But as SunChariot said, that's getting off topic.

I think the fact that some people don't complain when they see something they don't like and others complain loudly is mostly about control. There are those people who will always speak up and complain, even if someone's actions aren't their business, and they're unfortunately the ones that people in Seafra's position are attempting to appease. If you ask me, they're the sh**t stirrers, not someone who breaks the rule and takes out Tarot cards. The complainers are unfortunate for the rest of us, because our lives come more and more under the complainers' control.

Wow, I guess I've come almost full-circle on this issue in the past twenty-four hours. Still, I'm the kind of person who prefers privacy, and to follow the rules, so it won't likely be me who breaks out Tarot cards in the hotel lobby. It will be someone with a lot more courage and perhaps reason to do so. But if anyone bothers my friend and her baby about breastfeeding I might get a little feisty.
Top   #135
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Quote:
Nevada:
Wow, I guess I've come almost full-circle on this issue in the past twenty-four hours. Still, I'm the kind of person who prefers privacy, and to follow the rules, so it won't likely be me who breaks out Tarot cards in the hotel lobby. It will be someone with a lot more courage and perhaps reason to do so. But if anyone bothers my friend and her baby about breastfeeding I might get a little feisty.
Top post. Brilliant actually... my thoughts exactly on all issues... The baby and the way complainers get and the Tarot bit... all of it... nothing I can add to that...

I think after all this... and strewth, has my awareness ever increased re all this.... If I had to read somewhere other than at my place or someone else's place, I'd make the effort to find somewhere private away from prying ears and eyes... Though, I would have no problem meeting someone and talking Tarot talk, while having a coffee and munching some cake, as long as it wasn't for a specific reading... no worries...

Welf
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Just want to say I truly appreciate the understanding and respect I received from so many of you as I explained the position I am in (and by extension others who must do the same as I do). I am sure the marks from the grill will cure up fine with some lotion.

How does that saying go -- don't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Thanks for walking with me even if you couldn't do a full mile.



By the way Welf -- You've made the area in which you life sound so delightful that I am getting a tent from Gregory and moving into your back yard. I'll give you the final details as they come together on this end.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by direwolf336
I think I am also very prone to background noise and how it bothers my concentration and focus.
i can zone people out easiliy, comes from years of being a dedicated daydreamer, i can go into my own world when i want to.

although i do need strong light to read so dim places dont work for me
Top   #138
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nevada
Well if it's that non-intrusive, no one will even notice. Right? I guess my point is, what's going to infringe on others' awareness and therefore whatever prejudices or emotional reactions they have toward Tarot. And of course, right or wrong, the property owner's rules. But I have to wonder why any one guest's emotional reactions are so much more important than any others. You clearly have strong emotions regarding your right to read Tarot where you want. Those are valid feelings too. It's not really up to me to say whether you should try to get away with it even where you know there are rules against it. That's up to you. In my opinion, reading Tarot harms no one. It's only others' reactions to it that seem to cause trouble.

I try to consider how my actions will affect others. Though I'm not a Buddhist, I believe strongly in the idea of right actions, and in considering others in my actions.

But I think that has also in some cases been carried so far that it infringes deeply into the right of those doing the acting -- such as gay rights to marry, etc. People get upset over the strangest things -- things that are none of their business. While I can see a hotel owner trying to keep guests happy, I wonder if it's so important when those guests are wrong, getting upset over things that are none of their business.

I think people as individuals have to ultimately decide these kinds of things for themselves.

And who am I to judge? I know that some of my past actions have hurt or upset others. I don't think any of us is saintly enough to have escaped that. It's just something I try to avoid, within reason.

Something that occurred to me yesterday when I posted was that property rights were violated during the Civil Rights Movement, when black students decided to sit themselves down at all-white lunch counters, and so forth. We applaud that now. But I'm not sure I'd even begin to compare the right to read Tarot with what they were demonstrating for. Still, the thought occurred to me.
very insightful and well said!

the civil rights movement was what i was alluding to earlier, i admire the guts of the people who did things to evolve the movement so that i dont need to go to an all black school now.

i am not sure i would have the balls to do that now and get the abuse they got, however i would like to see attitudes to tarot change in the future and if in a tiny way its made more accessible or took the mystery and myths away from it for some people i think i would be happy.

its funny the most visable reaction i get from people is not from tarot but from reading feminist books such as the female eunuch or the whole woman, you see people recoil!
Top   #139
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nevada
This thread has certainly gotten me to do some thinking about when rules should be followed and when they're just plain wrong. Still haven't made up my mind on that one. I think it comes down to situational ethics. And I think each person can be within their ethics -- and be right -- and they can still disagree with each other on this issue.

this is why its interesting, all the opinions expressed are valid and it does open your eyes to different points of view.

its funny, i am always surprised by the amount of people interesting in tarot, wicca etc, i get alot of people asking me about it (friends or people who see me read).i think people seem to think if you read tarot you wonder round in a pointed hat, or dress in a weird way...the reaction when they see your normal is very interesting
Top   #140
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