Where do you start?

Where do you guys start when you want to heal or start changing for the better? Read self help? Start meditating and yoga? Start journaling? Is it better to get the negatives out first?

Getting positive actions going works for me, especially if I'm helping others. I try to get the small everyday things done and recognise that a task completed is one thing achieved. The more that is achieved the more that a sense of accomplishment and pride can be felt. It's like there's a momentum develops but it still needs a bit of a push along from time to time to keep things rolling. The negative aspects of your life tend to become more insignificant if you're putting out good works to the world. I hope that helps.

Positive self-talk, and positive affirmations about negative stuff.

When I'm trying to give myself an attitude adjustment (I tend to be a pessimist, even though I FEEL I am more of a realist) I try to find the good in myself, and others.

I write it down. I write down true things, not candy coating the world, but looking at the positive side of stuff. Like, "The new library policy is going to mean a tidier workspace."

"My Co-worker is a hard worker." "I can see the humorous side of life."

For myself, I don't find getting the negative out about people, situations or other stuff does anything but send me down into a spiral of negativity.

Try not to fix everything at once. That can overwhelm one. Start with something that needs attention, that you feel you can remedy and do it, that will build confidence. As you go on to the next things, more confidence can build to help achieve the more difficult tasks.

... and what they said above especially about helping others ... it will reflect within you as well. It can start with the simple as well (even something like registering with Amnesty International for their letter writing and petition campaigns ) and later one can do more ...

Wonderful responses above!

And YES to everything you already listed!
I don't do yoga per say, but am a big believer in exercise
The trick is to find something that you love doing and resonates (dance? Tennis? Running? Swimming?)
Competitive Sports or Martial Arts may be helpful in channelling aggression, or "getting the negatives out first", as you put it).

Then there's Tarot, Crystals, Dream Work, Chanting, Drumming, Art Therapy, Tai Chi, Energy Work....etc!
We are fortunate to live in a time with so many tools and info at our disposal!
Again, find a few things that resonate!

Finally, and perhaps most importantly in my own experience, is the making of peace with one's own Shadow sides, and integrating them into the personality in healthier ways.
Some call this doing "Shadow Work".
Doing the Shadow Work doesn't mean simply giving up & accepting the "negative" qualities about yourself (giving in to them); but learning to love and forgive all parts of oneself.
Personally, for me this involves avoiding vocabulary such as "negative", and replacing it with "challenge" or "shadow".

Keep us posted!

zhan.thay said:

Getting positive actions going works for me, especially if I'm helping others. I try to get the small everyday things done and recognise that a task completed is one thing achieved. The more that is achieved the more that a sense of accomplishment and pride can be felt. It's like there's a momentum develops but it still needs a bit of a push along from time to time to keep things rolling. The negative aspects of your life tend to become more insignificant if you're putting out good works to the world. I hope that helps.

Click to expand...

I agree with this. When you concentrate on the little things, in an almost meditative manner, then things do seem to become easier. I had a conversation with someone messy recently, who told me they clean once in a blue moon, and are depressed the rest if the time because their house is messy. I used to be like that, but I got tired of cleaning for hours, and adapted, over several years, habits that help me do small things that combine into a larger whole. It is much easier, for a lazy person like me, to wash one plate on time, rather than allow them to accumulate into a big, depressing mess.

I know this isn't strictly helping others, but small habits make a big difference sometimes.

zhan.thay said:

Getting positive actions going works for me, especially if I'm helping others. I try to get the small everyday things done and recognise that a task completed is one thing achieved. The more that is achieved the more that a sense of accomplishment and pride can be felt. It's like there's a momentum develops but it still needs a bit of a push along from time to time to keep things rolling. The negative aspects of your life tend to become more insignificant if you're putting out good works to the world. I hope that helps.

Click to expand...

It does feel good helping people and getting something done

VGimlet said:

Positive self-talk, and positive affirmations about negative stuff.

When I'm trying to give myself an attitude adjustment (I tend to be a pessimist, even though I FEEL I am more of a realist) I try to find the good in myself, and others.

I write it down. I write down true things, not candy coating the world, but looking at the positive side of stuff. Like, "The new library policy is going to mean a tidier workspace."

"My Co-worker is a hard worker." "I can see the humorous side of life."

For myself, I don't find getting the negative out about people, situations or other stuff does anything but send me down into a spiral of negativity.

Click to expand...

I do need to write more hehe. I should let all the negative out and get room for the positive stuff in And try to catch myself being negative more and change it to a positive. Hopefully it will change my brain into being more positive and not negative(Like worrying or something).

ravenest said:

Try not to fix everything at once. That can overwhelm one. Start with something that needs attention, that you feel you can remedy and do it, that will build confidence. As you go on to the next things, more confidence can build to help achieve the more difficult tasks.

... and what they said above especially about helping others ... it will reflect within you as well. It can start with the simple as well (even something like registering with Amnesty International for their letter writing and petition campaigns ) and later one can do more ...

Click to expand...

Sounds good, yeah I think looking at the big picture of change scares me so that's why I am not sure where to start lol.

PrincessPaulina said:

Wonderful responses above!

And YES to everything you already listed!
I don't do yoga per say, but am a big believer in exercise
The trick is to find something that you love doing and resonates (dance? Tennis? Running? Swimming?)
Competitive Sports or Martial Arts may be helpful in channelling aggression, or "getting the negatives out first", as you put it).

Then there's Tarot, Crystals, Dream Work, Chanting, Drumming, Art Therapy, Tai Chi, Energy Work....etc!
We are fortunate to live in a time with so many tools and info at our disposal!
Again, find a few things that resonate!

Finally, and perhaps most importantly in my own experience, is the making of peace with one's own Shadow sides, and integrating them into the personality in healthier ways.
Some call this doing "Shadow Work".
Doing the Shadow Work doesn't mean simply giving up & accepting the "negative" qualities about yourself (giving in to them); but learning to love and forgive all parts of oneself.
Personally, for me this involves avoiding vocabulary such as "negative", and replacing it with "challenge" or "shadow".

Keep us posted!

Click to expand...

I will have to check out the Shadow Work! Sounds interesting. I do need to make peace with myself indeed I just want to bring in positive physical experiences and stuff and I guess being negative just isn't working :/ Though I do get upset when I hope for something good to happen and it doesn't. :/

For me, it's important to do things that are tangible. Most of our work world nowadays leaves us with nothing tangible - it's just letters on a screen. So when I make a cake or bake a plant or make an earring, I feel empowered and happier. And when I'm happy, I have again more power for work. I feel that I need to touch ground.

I do read self help books and afterwards sum up what I can take from each. Making my home feel more beautiful, having some sort of work out routine (even the most basic), keeping regular hours as far as possible - all those give me the feeling of being connected to the good sides of life, and I need that.

I talk a lot to myself and encourage myself - something I realize now that my parents never did but that I craved. I feel like an idiot when i hear myself say: well done, Nemia, the kitchen floor has never looked better, or: how wonderful that you finished this project, the colleagues value it.

But I have to do something against the negativity that I was fed with and fed myself for some many years. I try to do it also for others. When I see a waitress with lovely hair, I tell her so. When I spread nice feelings, I feel them also inside.

Prayer is important, acknowledging the beginning and the end of the day. I have my little rituals that mean much to me. Meditating or praying, listening to beautiful, gentle music, burning wood-less incense - they help me get a good start in the morning. The day runs better when I started it with a little mindfulness, gratefulness, positive expectation...