crystalrose  crystalrose is offline
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Hmm, so for the people who like gender to know who is who is a reading, does that mean you generally interpret court cards as the person in question if the gender matches? Like if the querent is a female, and a Queen shows up, are you more likely to say okay this is you?

I do understand though that in love questions, it's nice to have gender to avoid potential awkwardness of how to refer to people. That makes sense.

But in general, for me if someone doesn't want to divulge some information, that's their prerogative. I try to respect people's privacy & it's not for me to say what someone should feel comfortable telling me. Yes more info may make things easier to interpret, but if they get something out of the reading regardless then I've done my part. But I don't read professionally, so maybe if I did, my opinion could be different.
Top   #191
prudence  prudence is offline
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From what I have experienced, in face to face readings, people are very open with their information. It's the online arena where certain tendencies to withhold even basic information comes into play. I do consider gender to be basic info.

As for gendered cards coming up, I'm more likely to want to know specifics regarding let's say a certain female, does she seem like a queen of swords type or does he seem like a knight of wands type of guy, and then I'll explain a knight of wands in his typical behavior. Usually as soon as I start describing a certain card, the sitter exclaims right away that they know who is being shown by a particular card.

It's really hard to read for anyone who is highly guarded whether online or in real life. My aim in reading is to give my sitter the best most helpful reading I am capable of, and to do so we both need to be open to the whole experience. I read for free and I read for money, I treat both the same and I put my whole heart into it. It's a hard struggle when I try to read for someone who is holding back certain relevant information and their reason why isn't important, it's just on my end I sit there fighting against their walls of protection and or lies, and spend more time on that battle than on getting and giving the reading they want. So the reading lacks and suffers, in my opinion.
Top   #192
khatsar  khatsar is offline
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Pet peeves


To be honest, I kind of like when people don't give me their gender. It makes things interesting and it challenges me to operate without relying on my innate biases. I enjoy a good experiment. [emoji4] I don't consider someone guarded for not sharing their gender just as I don't consider them guarded for not sharing age or race information. I don't find it helpful to make any assumptions.
Top   #193
khatsar  khatsar is offline
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Here's a pet peeve of mine about romance readings (of which I don't do many....people be crazy lol...): people in relationships asking about folks they'd like to cheat with. On the off chance I do a love reading, I do like to know romantic status, because I don't want to help anyone do anything underhanded. The thought of hurting someone makes me sad. There are several people here that I won't read for, because they are in relationships yet constantly asking about possible affairs with other people. NOPE.
Top   #194
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Dunno, Khatsar, I have dealt with people who put up walls during readings, especially if I am getting close to an unsavory truth about them or their doings or lives, and they freak out, because I am uncovering it as I follow the trail of crumbs the cards give me, to the heart of the matter... And yeah, sometimes they will lie, even during a reading to find out the truth. Beats me why, but some folks do.
Top   #195
khatsar  khatsar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Padma View Post
Dunno, Khatsar, I have dealt with people who put up walls during readings, especially if I am getting close to an unsavory truth about them or their doings or lives, and they freak out, because I am uncovering it as I follow the trail of crumbs the cards give me, to the heart of the matter... And yeah, sometimes they will lie, even during a reading to find out the truth. Beats me why, but some folks do.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen. In fact, I have experienced what you described. But jumping to conclusions is not helpful. I suppose I don't feel that my not sharing my gender with a given reader constitutes a wall of protection. [emoji4]
Top   #196
prudence  prudence is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by khatsar View Post
To be honest, I kind of like when people don't give me their gender. It makes things interesting and it challenges me to operate without relying on my innate biases. I enjoy a good experiment. [emoji4] I don't consider someone guarded for not sharing their gender just as I don't consider them guarded for not sharing age or race information. I don't understand the suspicions about walls of lies either. Seems a little...extra.
When I mentioned the walls, I was not actually thinking of the gender thing. There are many walls people will put up, and gender can obviously be one of them as this thread has shown. To me the gender thing is really just basic info. I am not one of the readers who insists on getting gender info before a reading, but I am a reader who finds gender helpful sometimes in certain reading situations and when someone poses a question that is filled with odd genderless pronouns, yes I do find that unhelpful. I find it confusing to address the reading while avoiding all manner of gender based words and I find it to be a plodding through the dark kind of thing. I love a challenge but some things just seem so unnecessary and hindering when it comes to giving a good reading. Most often the walls of lies and or of huge omissions come into play when someone is interested in another person who happens to be married or otherwise monogamously attached and usually with kids in the mix. You get all sorts of lies, omissions and weird word play when those situations are read about. That is what I was hinting at in my walls and lies comment, not the gender thing. But I do think the gender thing is one that will cause a reading to be useless, as Le Fanu so eloquently expressed.
Top   #197
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Brilliance  Brilliance is offline
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Honestly, I don't understand why are some people so secretive about their gender. It just makes readings easier and less awkward when it comes to addressing to a person. As for the court cards, I think they do have a gender. Women in general tend to identify more with the Queens, and men with the Kings - there is nothing wrong with this.
Top   #198
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prudence View Post
When I mentioned the walls, I was not actually thinking of the gender thing. There are many walls people will put up, and gender can obviously be one of them as this thread has shown. To me the gender thing is really just basic info. I am not one of the readers who insists on getting gender info before a reading, but I am a reader who finds gender helpful sometimes in certain reading situations and when someone poses a question that is filled with odd genderless pronouns, yes I do find that unhelpful. I find it confusing to address the reading while avoiding all manner of gender based words and I find it to be a plodding through the dark kind of thing. I love a challenge but some things just seem so unnecessary and hindering when it comes to giving a good reading. Most often the walls of lies and or of huge omissions come into play when someone is interested in another person who happens to be married or otherwise monogamously attached and usually with kids in the mix. You get all sorts of lies, omissions and weird word play when those situations are read about. That is what I was hinting at in my walls and lies comment, not the gender thing. But I do think the gender thing is one that will cause a reading to be useless, as Le Fanu so eloquently expressed.
Yes. I've come across a few of these in romance readings lately. I can really understand why some readers refuse to do love readings.m
Top   #199
khatsar  khatsar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prudence View Post
When I mentioned the walls, I was not actually thinking of the gender thing. There are many walls people will put up, and gender can obviously be one of them as this thread has shown. To me the gender thing is really just basic info. I am not one of the readers who insists on getting gender info before a reading, but I am a reader who finds gender helpful sometimes in certain reading situations and when someone poses a question that is filled with odd genderless pronouns, yes I do find that unhelpful. I find it confusing to address the reading while avoiding all manner of gender based words and I find it to be a plodding through the dark kind of thing. I love a challenge but some things just seem so unnecessary and hindering when it comes to giving a good reading. Most often the walls of lies and or of huge omissions come into play when someone is interested in another person who happens to be married or otherwise monogamously attached and usually with kids in the mix. You get all sorts of lies, omissions and weird word play when those situations are read about. That is what I was hinting at in my walls and lies comment, not the gender thing. But I do think the gender thing is one that will cause a reading to be useless, as Le Fanu so eloquently expressed.
I can understand your point of view, though obviously I don't share it. I have received many useful readings about topics such as my career and spiritual growth, and even my romantic life, where I simply did not think to include my gender when wording the questions. It wasn't that I was hiding something, I just honestly did not consider it relevant. Honestly in my daily life I am so used to gender-neutral pronouns that I use them as a matter of habit. In fact, I find myself slipping into using them even when giving readings to someone who has disclosed the genders of everyone involved!

I totally share your view about people who start asking questions relating to cheating or infidelity. In fact this is one of the reasons I am staying away from love-related readings for now. Things get nasty when lies become involved.
Top   #200
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