Im not sure how my tarot deck feels about me....

tarotot_yeezus

I got my first tarot deck about a month ago. Its a standard Rider-Waite, so I felt comfortable buying it without having read reviews or really shopping around. Its great for learning on, but I get a sense that it doesn't really like me. Ive done a few tarot deck interviews with it and whenever I ask what it thinks of our relationship, I tend to get rather businesslike or discouraging answers. I cleansed it recently and I've been keeping it in a special bag with lavender and rosemary and I've felt a little more positivity when I handle it/do readings, but I was wondering what you guys do in this situation? Am I being silly or is this a thing that others have experienced?
 

LindaMechele

I talk to it, just like I would a new person I want to get to know. Have you thought of doing that? Maybe that's why it's being all businesslike with you - you're being all businesslike with it.

Here's an example of how I have a conversation with my deck. Today's my first day off in a bit. Besides my regular horticulturist job at a local organic nursery, I have a little farm where I keep chickens, honeybees, and a vegetable garden. My last days off were spent mostly doing things for the chickens and getting the garden ready for winter planting, arranging for repairs/remodeling on my tiny house, packing up more things in preparation for the move, and doing a bit of navel-gazing. Then work at my money job, then a day off today that I've spent mostly doing nothing (Ahhhhhh...).

I just picked up my Samhain Deck of the Bastard, my fave friend lately, and told it, "I'm sorry I haven't paid much attention to you this past week." I turned some cards and got the Hermit, the Empress, the King of Coins, the Chariot, and the Knight of Swords: "I know you had to pull back inside yourself and think, then work on the garden to prepare for planting, and had to leave for work, too. But you're guiding things nicely to prepare for the future, which is what you need to do to get ready for the big changes to come. So I understand the lack of time for me. Keep it up."

Welcome to the forums, and congrats on your new deck! Now go have a chat with it. :)
 

tarotot_yeezus

Thank you for the suggestion! I will definitely give that a try tonight. I think that a more conversational and less questioning tone might help!
 

nisaba

I got my first tarot deck about a month ago. Its a standard Rider-Waite, so I felt comfortable buying it without having read reviews or really shopping around. Its great for learning on, but I get a sense that it doesn't really like me. Ive done a few tarot deck interviews with it and whenever I ask what it thinks of our relationship, I tend to get rather businesslike or discouraging answers.

I'm willing to bet that the first one was "businesslike" in your terms. Tarot decks don't do human emotions - they don't live with angst and seek approval. They just *are*, in the best, most profound sense. They are truly themselves, without reference to others. Why would it need to think anything of you at all, good or bad? All it needs to do is be itself, and do what it was designed for. Perhaps that was what the "businesslike" interviews were about, and perhaps the "discouraging" ones were about wasting your time on follow-up readings when you already had your answer.

I cleansed it recently and I've been keeping it in a special bag with lavender and rosemary and I've felt a little more positivity when I handle it/do readings,
Great! If this makes YOU like your deck better or helps you with your self-esteem, then all power to you. But make no mistake, in this relationship with your deck, *you* are the one who does the liking and disliking: the deck just remains serenely itself.
 

HallowedNight

Oh man, I am all about people's interactions with their decks. o wo When I first came back to my Fantastical Creatures after a fairly long hiatus, I was pretty sure it hated me. :^P Nothing made sense, and it did snarky things like give me the same card over and over even when it had absolutely nothing to do with the question. But I just kept using it and taking it places with me and infusing it with my energy, and now it's calmed down quite a lot. (I don't use it as much now that I have my Wild Unknown, so it feels a bit like the sleepy grandfather of my decks now. It's calmed down a lot.)

Bottom line is, I think the best way to get your deck to 'like you' is to handle it a lot. Not just doing spreads, but keeping it with out. Take it around in your bag, touch it every now and then. Just let your energy seep into it, and it'll sort of...I guess start recognizing your intentions, and help it start wanting to work with you. c:
 

Citrin

Well, my personal belief is that the tarot cards don’t really feel or have opinions. Sure they’re loaded with the readers’ energy, but that doesn’t create a soul or personality. ;)

So yeah, that’s just my belief, so I would say that the discomfort comes from inside of you. Do you read for yourself? Do you have doubts about your “abilities” to be a good reader? Do you feel unsure about card meanings? Doubt your intuition? I myself sometimes tend to get too negative during some readings for myself (about love mainly lol), because I’m afraid I’m gonna sugarcoat the reading too much so instead my subconscious kicks in and makes me interpret the cards much more negatively than I usually would. So in that case it’s not really the deck that is negative, it’s me, all because of doubts/fears… Working with trying to stay more objective, and getting rid of doubts, can help when that happens. :)
 

Krakken

I got my first tarot deck about a month ago. Its a standard Rider-Waite, so I felt comfortable buying it without having read reviews or really shopping around. Its great for learning on, but I get a sense that it doesn't really like me. Ive done a few tarot deck interviews with it and whenever I ask what it thinks of our relationship, I tend to get rather businesslike or discouraging answers. I cleansed it recently and I've been keeping it in a special bag with lavender and rosemary and I've felt a little more positivity when I handle it/do readings, but I was wondering what you guys do in this situation? Am I being silly or is this a thing that others have experienced?

Wich card did you get when asking what it thinks about you? That´s always interesting to see. come on! pull a card! ...

:)
goog luck
 

LindaMechele

Citrin makes a good point about doubt. It can surely color your readings. Any kind of bias will, whether it stems from doubt or fear or wanting to find a certain answer. It's common for that to happen, especially for negative doubt to worm it's way in when reading for yourself, so common that Teresa Michelsen wrote an article about it that might help you: List of articles - look for "Reading for Yourself: Common Problems and Helpful Solutions".

She and Nisaba also bring up the point about the cards not having their own emotions, thoughts, or feelings. Some people believe they do, some people believe they don't. And it doesn't have to be either of those black or white choices either - maybe the cards themselves don't have feelings, but that the Universe has energy that is associated with thoughts and feelings, and you're accessing that through the cards. Or maybe it's your spirit guides, or maybe they're just pieces of paper that your subconcious interprets without any outside input. Or ... or ... or ... we could go on and on and on.

Me, I don't know what's true and don't care really. Whether it's because I'm talking to my actual deck, talking to the Universe, talking to my guides, or just talking to my subconcious, it works for me. That's the trick - find what works for YOU and you're golden.
 

From-Ashes

Many great ideas and suggestions! I'm going to second HallowedNight. Live with your deck awhile. When I have trouble connecting or the cards aren't making sense or whatever, I carry my deck. I keep mine in a cloth sack as well, and just take it from room to room with me and keep in in my purse. Pick it up and shuffle from time to time, and just sit and exist alongside it. Like LindaMichele said, whether it's the universe or the cards or my energy or whatever, it's just what works for me . . .
 

dancing_moon

Personally, I don't think a deck actually 'feels' or 'thinks' anything about its owner per se. However, I believe that decks, just like other, let's say, half-conscious creatures (books, watches, clothes, household utensils, etc.), are good at picking up and reflecting back their owners' attitudes and emotions. So, if it looks like the deck is not that keen on you, it may be interesting to examine your own feelings and expectations about it.

I also wonder why the question 'what it thinks about our relationship' was asked in the first place. I always take it by default that any half-conscious creature that comes into my life has some affinity with me, otherwise it simply wouldn't be there. :)