Weird dream about ex

Hi all, I just had the weirdest dream I'd like some input on. First some background. I divorced 5 years ago and remarried a couple of years ago. This dream was about my ex-husband R. I don't have any contact with him in real life, but I have been thinking of him lately - not because I miss him, but because I'm worried about him for some reason.

The dream:

I was still with R and didn't know my new husband. For some reason, R had to undergo a surgery, where a body part would be chopped off and then reattached. This was some sort of a trial, like initiation, mainly for psychological reasons I understood.

The surgeon was his father (not his real father but an imaginary dream father I didn't know). We both had to go to the surgeon's office to discuss the operation and any feelings it might evoke. R had the removal operation done and the body part was sent to the office in wrappings.

However, when we went to the office, there were so many people the surgeon didn't have time for us. Instead, we saw the body part carelessly being pushed aside from the desk. At this stage, I thought I woke up, however, it was another dream. I again lived with R and went to tell him about this absurd dream. We had a really lovely home.

R walked in and when I saw him, I thought: I'm I still with him? How? What happened? Is this life still going on in an alternative universe? At this stage I remembered I have another husband whom I missed in the dream. After that, I woke up for real.

Now, right after waking up, I have no clue what this is trying to tell me.

Saskia said:

Hi all, I just had the weirdest dream I'd like some input on. First some background. I divorced 5 years ago and remarried a couple of years ago. This dream was about my ex-husband R. I don't have any contact with him in real life, but I have been thinking of him lately - not because I miss him, but because I'm worried about him for some reason.

The dream:

I was still with R and didn't know my new husband. For some reason, R had to undergo a surgery, where a body part would be chopped off and then reattached. This was some sort of a trial, like initiation, mainly for psychological reasons I understood.

The surgeon was his father (not his real father but an imaginary dream father I didn't know). We both had to go to the surgeon's office to discuss the operation and any feelings it might evoke. R had the removal operation done and the body part was sent to the office in wrappings.

However, when we went to the office, there were so many people the surgeon didn't have time for us. Instead, we saw the body part carelessly being pushed aside from the desk. At this stage, I thought I woke up, however, it was another dream. I again lived with R and went to tell him about this absurd dream. We had a really lovely home.

R walked in and when I saw him, I thought: I'm I still with him? How? What happened? Is this life still going on in an alternative universe? At this stage I remembered I have another husband whom I missed in the dream. After that, I woke up for real.

Now, right after waking up, I have no clue what this is trying to tell me.

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Could R just be a representation of someone else in your life....they may be starting to act like R but hasn't demonstrated the exact story line yet.

I think maybe it's telling you someone in your present life is like R, but you are yet to realize it. You might be needing to remove this person.

Is there anything about R and your interaction with R that you didn't like?

Just a theory...amputation always makes me think removing something that is dead/useless/not functioning correctly. The father (not real one) being the surgeon could be taking a lead while still having a nurturing side. Fathers at least in the western world are suppose to take the lead, provide for the family, but also be someone who can guide in a loving manner. The crowded office may indicate you have a large social circle or know many people and it's hard to really focus on the person that needs to be amputated.

Idk what the home may mean...maybe comfort/security.

Just some thoughts.

CosmicBeing said:

Could R just be a representation of someone else in your life....they may be starting to act like R but hasn't demonstrated the exact story line yet.

I think maybe it's telling you someone in your present life is like R, but you are yet to realize it. You might be needing to remove this person. Is there anything about R and your interaction with R that you didn't like?

Just a theory...amputation always makes me think removing something that is dead/useless/not functioning correctly.

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Hi CB, thanks for replying! I've pondered this and I think I cracked it. However, it seems to relate to a movie I just saw which touched me deeply: the Danish Girl. It's about an artist couple, where the husband undergoes the world's first sex change operation in the early 1900s. He wants to become a woman. His wife is by him all the way, even when she realises they can't/won't be a couple anymore because the husband will become a woman and wants to have a relationship with a man.

Now, this doesn't relate to mine and R's relationship directly - none of that happened. But, I was deeply moved by how the affectionate and caring wife stood by her husband even when she saw it's the end of their relationship. I felt that I was a support person to R and I cared for him deeply, but after 8 years I was so frustrated by him for various reasons that I left to have a life of my own (he had social anxieties etc.).

I'm still worried about R because I suspect his life is limited by anxieties (and also laziness...). However, the idea about amputating something/someone does resonate. I have to amputate him and the ideas/worries about him, because I'm not his "carer" anymore and will not want to be, ever again.

I don't think anyone in my current life is like him and that's a blessing.

The surgeon father might represent the fact that I felt I have to justify our divorce to his parents (not to mine). His parents were also worried about him and felt I've abandoned their son, even though we were both fully adults when we divorced. His father was more understanding than his mother, though - he saw I wouldn't be happy with being someone's crutch forever, instead of having a life of my own. In the dream, the surgeon was a firm but understanding authority figure.

I think the crowded office is my life in general: I have so much going on I don't have time or real interest to get involved with R anymore. Everything else is taking precedent.

The home might be good memories, but also the realisation that my life is great now, without him (in the dream I'm with him but perplexed and disappointed by the fact that he's in the house instead of my current husband).

Thanks again CB!

Happy you figured out and that at least I could contribute something.

I hardly ever remember my dreams which I am fine with because I use to remember all my dreams...less stuff to ponder about.

It sounds like you made the decision that was best for you. I hope the parents have come to understand that. No one can help someone who doesn't want to help their self...it's a hard lesson to learn but true 90% of the time.

It sounds like you open the path to meet your present husband that most likely aligns best with your lifestyle and how you want to live.

CosmicBeing said:

It sounds like you open the path to meet your present husband that most likely aligns best with your lifestyle and how you want to live.

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Yes, that's indeed what happened! A new path opened that has lead to a life I truly want to live - I can say I'm with my soulmate but I also now live in a different country and culture, have a different career and hobbies, and widely expanded social circles. So everything worked out for the best for me

I guess I still think whether R's parents ever approved or understood my decision (I liked them) but it can't be my problem, though. Thanks for your help CB!