Firstly: I confess, I have a problem with questions that don't have any "action item" as answer. "Does he like me?" etc are all "yes or no" questions - you'll get an answer, but you can't do anything about it.
I much prefer questions whose answer is actionable. "What can I do to improve our relationship?", "how can I take the relationship to the next stage?", "where are the obstacles and promises? what can I do about it?" - all these are questions that put the initiative back into your hands.
Secondly: in some cases, where it's really not possible to do much about something and where you simply want a glimpse into another person's feelings, I try to formulate the question in a way that respects the other person's boundaries and defenses, e.g. "what do I have to know about X's feelings for me?"
That doesn't give me the full picture of X's feelings (which is IMO impossible anyway) but it shows what X "allows" me to see or what is, objectively seen, good for me to see.
I feel pretty strongly about that (over the last few years, more strongly than formerly). I wouldn't want others to try per tarot to look inside me. If a person hides a part the feelings he/she has for you, there's a reason, there's a boundary, and I tend nowadays to respect these boundaries more than I used to do.
I don't want to sound judgmental and everybody uses the tarot he/she sees fit, and I'm glad there is no tarot police! But after hesitating for a while, I decided to add these two points nevertheless.
Wow, I SO much agree with this. I SO much prefer questions that encourage the querent to take an active role in their lives, not a passive one.
I find that I almost never get that kind of question. I think many people just have no idea that Tarot can be used this way. Often I suggest it.
It's like people just think that what is in their lives is and there's nothing they can do about it. When Tarot is a tool that can answer anything at all including how to get to where you want to be. It can tell you how to get there in steps you can follow.
like instead of asking if someone likes you (even though I don't do yes/no questions and that is another story) and getting upset if the answer is not positive as if that is THE truth that can never change....instead they could ask if there is anything they can do to help encourage the person to like them. And improve things.
Or instead of asking if a relationship will last and then if the cards say no, getting all upset as if it's fate, the person could ask what they can do to improve the relationship to make it strong and lasting. Then the can do it and create positive change. And have a different better future.
So me too. I prefer using Tarot to help people take an active role in their lives, rather than a passive one. And to show them Tarot can be that. A tool to show them how.
Also, I tend to believe the cards just don't tend to show us anything we are not meant to see, know or pass on to the querent. If we are not mean to see it, it just won't show up imo.
I even had the cards once completely refuse to answer the question a querent asked me. All I could see what that the querent was not meant to know the answer to what she was asking, and that it was not in her best interest to know. She's just have to trust in that and that there was a good reason for it, life lesson she needed to learn on her own by working things out.
That was all I could see in the card, that I was not mean to answer the question. Told her that and she said that 3 other readers had told her the exact same thing when she asked them that question. She was hoping I would be different. If it came up 4 times, by 4 different readers to me that WAS her answer from the universe. It just told her she is not mean to know right now.
So that is my belief, what we are not supposed to tell someone, it should not show up in the cards.
Babs
