We talk every week or so. We are not in the same city and very far away, but he's helping me with something right now so I talk to him every so often. Or if I feel I just want to talk to him, I do so... without needing an excuse. We've been talking like this for the past 6 months. Before that, communication was almost forbidden... I didn't allow myself to talk to him.
It's interesting you answer the question from his perspective... I do see this however as also being me realising I am not into being with him at any cost. I love him and part of me always will. Part of me will always crave for him. But I don't want to be a replacement while the cat's away. I am his soul connection, so that kind a role isn't something I want... though I do admit to also being tempted. I just am more thinking about what would come after that... and that I would be tormented. It wouldn't reunite us permanently. If he's no longer afraid of us however, that would be great. But the next step is for him is choosing. He cannot have both of us. I guess he needs to come to this realisation too.
I just learned yesterday that he sent his wife and kid back to her parents. So they are living quite far apart and he potentially goes every fortnight or so to meet them. So this card is spot on as he told me very directly she wasn't there yesterday and that is very unusual for him. He wouldn't normally let me know the cat's away kind of thing. But we're also in two very very distant cities, so perhaps it was innocent. I do feel you're right though that he senses the isolation and sadness more given that he doesn't have his family around him right now. And then the nostalgia would come kicking in.
I don't want an affair with him. I would like to be with him again for good - but I want no part in the breakup of his marriage. So it's a very odd place for me to be. I wouldn't be able to deal with the guilt of breaking them up, even if I know this isn't a good marriage and they aren't happy. It's their decision. I would love to meet him, talk to him.. just see him and be in his company. But I don't have the strength for an affair. Not with him. However, he's aware of the feelings I have for him. Only recently we had a huge argument and I told him again how I felt. The one who;'s in denial of these feelings is him.
I do sense that and some readings on other threads have indicated that. Again, he wants to compensate the isolation. He's remembering our relationship as it was... he's thinking of a quick fix. I don't want to be the soother. I want to be forever. I wouldn't compromise on that with him. I'd rather not be with him that be with him in a cheating situation. Of course I also crave him... but I've drawn cards about the consequences of an affair on his marriage, and it would only reinforce it. I have been in an affair before and the men just get closer to their wives because they feel guilty. I don't want to be in a situation like that with him as it would kill me to see him making a bigger effort towards her. I'd rather sit this one out.
All of this makes a lot, a lot of sense and it's just confirming a lot of my own feelings and intuition on what he wants from me. It's too much pain and suffering for me and this poor other woman if I get involved. If he's able to get himself out of this unfortunate marriage, then we can see... but otherwise I'd rather stay away. I am fine with the open lines of communication with him. That's all I need. He's like my home, which I've moved away from. I just need to be able to come home to him from time to time... and just calling home even is ok
Thank you so much for your reading!
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is at the end. I would tend to think this is on your mind a lot, but I don't see anyone from way back when coming up. You are overly thinking about it however... and there's perhaps a possibility you may travel to a place which could cause some memories to float back up, but I don't see anyone specific.
