Fear based dreams VS. encoded message

JustJazzie

Ive always had quite interesting, vivid dreams and have been keeping a journal of the more vivid ones for about a year now. Ever since I gave up caffeine though, I swear I am getting the most intense and vivd dreams every single night. The last 2 nights (I'll add the dreams, but they are a bit lengthy) My dreams are pointing to the idea that I am too scared to pursue my passions and life purpose.

I am trying to understand if these dreams are simply fear based, (as in, I am afraid that I am not pursuing my life purpose BECAUSE I am afraid) or if they are sending me a message that I actually need to overcome those fears and shift into major life changes.

Any idea how to tell the difference?
Dream 1
I dreamt that I was in school, and had gym class last period. As I wandered the school during a break, I was upset by how big the principals office was. Took up 1/4 of the school, with large picture windows and a V shape wall overlooking outside. I decided I would skip that period and go home early masturbate. So I got into my car and started driving. When I see in my rear view mirror a motorcycle crash through the intersection. No one seems to be stopping so I pull over and walk back to him. He has a phone and he's on the line with 911. I explain the situation and he wants me to stay with him. He keeps touching me/trying to hold me, and I'm so worried about his blood being diseased and repulsed by the gushing. When the 911 operator asks if there is anything else they need to know, the victim responds "You may have to delay treatment" As he opens his mouth, he is chewing this gross substance (looks like tobacco, but I immediately know its some terrible kind of drug, and take a step back.) All of the sudden someone else comes into the scene and there is an altercation between the two men. I run away terrified, and as I am running I hear gunshots and the motorcycle victim says " Its okay! It was just my drug dealer! I shot him! He's dead! Please come back and stay with me." I just keep running and running through the night. I've wandered so far that by morning I don’t even know where I am. I realized that I dropped my backpack with my Ipad in it at the scene. So I'm trying to get back there (for some reason the car never crossed my dream again) As I wander, The victim comes out of the house and yells "Why didn’t you stay with me?!" I escape the grasp he has on my arm and continue wandering. I call the police, trying to find the name of the intersection there was an accident at last night and they wont tell me. When I finally find it on my phones map, I get closer and closer. When I hear the exact intersection mentioned by a few people on their porch, looking at craigslist. I ask "is someone selling an ipad over there?!" Yes, they responded. I was so mad that my ipad was "stolen" and I probably wouldn't get it back. I kept walking and walking, and eventually woke up…….

Dream 2
I dreamt that first I was a queen. With many responsibilities and not much time to socialize. I had incredibly beautiful medieval type clothing. I remember fixing my hair every day. At one point I wet it down, and when I ran the comb through my hair, I lost CHUNCKS from the middle to the ends of my hair. Eventually Eric (an old crush) came to visit me and I was SOO happy to see him. We embraced and I just let him hold me for a while as all my worries, cares and responsibilities just melted away. Before having to return to my duty as queen. I asked him to hang around and wait for me, I would make time to spend with him. I saw him, standing around waiting for me for sometime, but my duties came forth and I never really had the time to see him again. Eventually he was gone. When I realized this, I chased him. I left my position as queen and tracked him down where he and I were both working in a target. This was a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORLD then the one I ruled over previously. Very modern. After a period of contentment, and learning the rhythms of this new place, there was some sort of theft scheme going on in the store, and someone accused Eric of being part of it. Eventually, I ran away from a shift where they were trying to accuse practically EVERYONE of being involved in some way or another.

After that I went to work in an airport. Mostly in the office, and delivering food, I think as a waitress. I was so heartbroken that I had left Eric behind at target. But I continued to work. Always missing him. At some point there was a burglary of the office/restaurant. I tried to call 911, but there was no time. They simply came in and hung up the phone. Not wanting to work in that environment anymore, I moved into the outer parts of the airport to work as a janitor. I was cleaning and cleaning, day in and day out. Eventually on a shift break I wandered into the main airport and realized there were so many stores that I never knew existed, right outside my daily life. Clothing stores, rocks shops, skater clothing stores and book stores…… And I realized that I had been wasting my life away cleaning the airport (and in all these other jobs) and that there was so much more out there. I went inside and sat down having an inner emotional meltdown. I started writing and getting this intuitive message of sorts- the words were not coming from me, but from outside myself. "you were never supposed to stay here" " this is where you were supposed to "figure it all out" "it was just a stop" "Why didn’t you chase Eric" "How did you get so comfortable here?" "You were a QUEEN and left for love. Now look at you. You're nothing but a janitor" "You must find your way back"…….
 

violetdaisy

Starting with the question

Your question - fear based or message is one I feel many have that are developing lucid dreaming skills. I have been documenting my dreams for years now. I even remember at least two dreams, that I never wrote down, that I had before I was 10 years old - 28 years ago. One of them was quite lengthy. The other was eerie and intense but brief.

For me - dreams with messages stick with me; even if I don't document them. And I remember them even when I've figured out what they're trying to tell me. They stay with me to a degree. They have patterns. Last year I had a "set" of 3 dreams over 7 days - 3 & 7 are both numbers I pay attention to - and there were other patterns within the dream as well.

Dreams that have messages for me I have little to no control over even though I can normally "redirect" a dream to "problem-solve." ... Because it's something I'm supposed to figure out with my fully awake and conscious mind.

Also if it's a "scary" dream with a message for me I get over the fear quickly (within hours) upon wakening because when I start disecting the dream it's no longer "scary" because it's all symbolic. However, my definition of scary has evolved. Not much in dreams actually scare me - I'm very brave in my dreamscapes. (Except when the dark shadows show up IN my dreams...yeah, those freak me out and I just try to wake up.)

I was doing some reading, an online resource, though I can't remember the source, that defined 3 types of dreamscapes and their qualities.

Your first dream seems to take place on this plane of existence but takes a kind of supernatural turn. (Btw are you female? If you have read statistics you will find that running away from a bad person/thing is common.) I do think your first dream is reflecting, maybe in a very abstract way, a fear you have of leaving someone that really needs you but you don't know it. I'm pretty good at disecting dreams but you're right, this post is long and has many parts.

Dream #2 reminds me of many of the dreams I've had wherein I visit different potential realities. The chase in this dream was your "door." (I get tunnels and caves and doors this type of switch). The way you felt upon awakening from this dream is very reminiscent of dreams I have regarding a real (as in alive and knew him) AND fictional love. (Yep, he's both - it's complicated).

My takeaway from dream #2 wouldn't be how to get back to being a queen, that's a very deep primal desire but not something you can move forward with - which is the only way to move in this reality. Even if you could find your way back - should you?
 

JustJazzie

Your question - fear based or message is one I feel many have that are developing lucid dreaming skills. I have been documenting my dreams for years now. I even remember at least two dreams, that I never wrote down, that I had before I was 10 years old - 28 years ago. One of them was quite lengthy. The other was eerie and intense but brief.

For me - dreams with messages stick with me; even if I don't document them. And I remember them even when I've figured out what they're trying to tell me. They stay with me to a degree. They have patterns. Last year I had a "set" of 3 dreams over 7 days - 3 & 7 are both numbers I pay attention to - and there were other patterns within the dream as well.

Dreams that have messages for me I have little to no control over even though I can normally "redirect" a dream to "problem-solve." ... Because it's something I'm supposed to figure out with my fully awake and conscious mind.

Also if it's a "scary" dream with a message for me I get over the fear quickly (within hours) upon wakening because when I start disecting the dream it's no longer "scary" because it's all symbolic. However, my definition of scary has evolved. Not much in dreams actually scare me - I'm very brave in my dreamscapes. (Except when the dark shadows show up IN my dreams...yeah, those freak me out and I just try to wake up.)

I was doing some reading, an online resource, though I can't remember the source, that defined 3 types of dreamscapes and their qualities.

Your first dream seems to take place on this plane of existence but takes a kind of supernatural turn. (Btw are you female? If you have read statistics you will find that running away from a bad person/thing is common.) I do think your first dream is reflecting, maybe in a very abstract way, a fear you have of leaving someone that really needs you but you don't know it. I'm pretty good at disecting dreams but you're right, this post is long and has many parts.

Dream #2 reminds me of many of the dreams I've had wherein I visit different potential realities. The chase in this dream was your "door." (I get tunnels and caves and doors this type of switch). The way you felt upon awakening from this dream is very reminiscent of dreams I have regarding a real (as in alive and knew him) AND fictional love. (Yep, he's both - it's complicated).

My takeaway from dream #2 wouldn't be how to get back to being a queen, that's a very deep primal desire but not something you can move forward with - which is the only way to move in this reality. Even if you could find your way back - should you?

I am sorry it took me so long to reply! My schedule is a little unconventional, and I knew this would be a long post, thank you for your patience.
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Thank you so much for your interpretation. I suppose I should have really clarified at the beginning. I am going through a year 13 (the death card) and really feeling so many changes coming up. Ive also been struggling to find out how I am supposed to be fulfilling my life's purpose in waking life. I am an 11 life path/11 destiny/ aquarius, so extremely sensitive and flighty. I am also a SAHM who homeshools 2 sons. I feel it is best for their future, and we do well. But its INCREDIBLY difficult for me to be around kids all day long. I feel like I really need to do "more" for the world with those 11's in my chart, but also feel like I am digging into reserves that I don't have currently.

I believe the first dream is displaying my fear of not being able to help the people I believe I am supposed to help. And also being horrified at taking on their "baggage" (Ive discovered that I have a crystal aura, and that means (at least at the moment) that I am basically an uncontrollable empath. Ive never been able to "block" out other energies no matter how many "psychic shields" I put up. Being around emotionally unstable people, leaves me physically sick to the point where I come home with a headache that can't be cured until I sleep. (Meditation, aura cleansing may help some, but never fully) But is it suggesting that I OVERCOME that fear for the greater good?

The second dream makes me wonder WHEN I was this queen? Another life, because it was such a different reality? And I see that Ive been chasing love. Am I chasing the love of my family/kids, or am I chasing the dream of a more fulfilling healing career that I will never find? My husband suggested that the dream is saying that I can chase all the careers I want, but I should be happy where I am now because I wont find what I am looking for. (He might be biased LOL)

I had another dream the night after I posted this:
I dreamt that I was part of a commune living on another planet that was not hospitable to humans.(mars was the word that came up, but it wasn't red or particularly hot, and when I looked up mars as a symbol- it didn't feel like it connected at all)
We all had to wear bubbles over our heads and required oxygen tanks. I was so upset because I was the ONLY one in the commune who seemed to do the dishes. Everyone slept in these body bags filled with oxygen so they could take off their bubbles at night. Spirits were low, and it seemed like a few were trying to find their way back to earth. They were so done with the trip and all that was required of living on mars.

Ive been asking every night for help discovering how I am supposed to be fulfilling my life purpose, so I feel that they are connected to that. But I am seeing more fear in the dream, than direction- if that makes sense!
 

violetdaisy

I am sorry it took me so long to reply! My schedule is a little unconventional, and I knew this would be a long post, thank you for your patience.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you so much for your interpretation. I suppose I should have really clarified at the beginning. I am going through a year 13 (the death card) and really feeling so many changes coming up. Ive also been struggling to find out how I am supposed to be fulfilling my life's purpose in waking life. I am an 11 life path/11 destiny/ aquarius, so extremely sensitive and flighty. I am also a SAHM who homeshools 2 sons. I feel it is best for their future, and we do well. But its INCREDIBLY difficult for me to be around kids all day long. I feel like I really need to do "more" for the world with those 11's in my chart, but also feel like I am digging into reserves that I don't have currently.

I believe the first dream is displaying my fear of not being able to help the people I believe I am supposed to help. And also being horrified at taking on their "baggage" (Ive discovered that I have a crystal aura, and that means (at least at the moment) that I am basically an uncontrollable empath. Ive never been able to "block" out other energies no matter how many "psychic shields" I put up. Being around emotionally unstable people, leaves me physically sick to the point where I come home with a headache that can't be cured until I sleep. (Meditation, aura cleansing may help some, but never fully) But is it suggesting that I OVERCOME that fear for the greater good?

The second dream makes me wonder WHEN I was this queen? Another life, because it was such a different reality? And I see that Ive been chasing love. Am I chasing the love of my family/kids, or am I chasing the dream of a more fulfilling healing career that I will never find? My husband suggested that the dream is saying that I can chase all the careers I want, but I should be happy where I am now because I wont find what I am looking for. (He might be biased LOL)

I had another dream the night after I posted this:
I dreamt that I was part of a commune living on another planet that was not hospitable to humans.(mars was the word that came up, but it wasn't red or particularly hot, and when I looked up mars as a symbol- it didn't feel like it connected at all)
We all had to wear bubbles over our heads and required oxygen tanks. I was so upset because I was the ONLY one in the commune who seemed to do the dishes. Everyone slept in these body bags filled with oxygen so they could take off their bubbles at night. Spirits were low, and it seemed like a few were trying to find their way back to earth. They were so done with the trip and all that was required of living on mars.

Ive been asking every night for help discovering how I am supposed to be fulfilling my life purpose, so I feel that they are connected to that. But I am seeing more fear in the dream, than direction- if that makes sense!

As to the very last thing you said - a few years ago I read something that has stuck with me - most don't "find" a purpose in life - it's not given to them - most people Create their purpose.

I've never had my aura read by someone who can see them but I am def a chameleon - I adapt to my surroundings (including people) - it's helpful to remember that even if you take on the traits, attitudes, beliefs, feelings of those around you it doesn't actually change You - though it can be truly exhausting. (This week I've been sleeping about 11-12/hrs day - even work days). If your sons are quite active and you find yourself going 100mph until you collapse - you're using up your energy by mimicking their energy so there is no reserve - that Crystal trait.

I think we all have fears that can't be overcome - they just have to be acknowledged and accepted. Again, because of your self-admitted uncontrollable empathy atm you need probably way more alone time than you get - while awake.

Ok, so there are a lot of 11's in your chart and you're going through a Death card year. The death card year is temporary - as is everything - and it's helpful to remember that. It's interesting that in your first dream someone actually dies - someone that someone else used to value (drug dealer) but no longer does and you don't stay. It's actually a healthy response (in my opinion) for a struggling empath to steer clear of other people's drama - no matter how involved you think you should be or how much you think you're supposed to care or help take care of the situation.

Back to the 11's - what do you consider your world? It's a question to figure out before you can figure out what you're supposed to be doing in it. Perhaps your contributions will be evident in the future when your son's begin to contribute to society. I had to make my world smaller to see a bigger picture. And have to generally stay away from the news - because I get literally sick if I am exposed to too much of it. Our world is sick - the entirety of it, from the environment to the beings on it. I know that and don't need reminded of it because then I can't productively do something about it in the capacity I am able.

There are a lot of other "stores" out there with enticing "merchandice." Cleaning the airport has just as much value as working in any one of those stores. Washing dishes is just as important as other tasks - you know that without dishes that there would be a domino effect in that community. You're taking on a task no one else wants to do. They'd rather leave the planet and go someplace they know where even more things would be taken care of for them.

Use your skills where you're at. If that causes you more trouble than good - it's time to change. I could Not be a SAHM and homeschool (not financially and not in my current environment) but I'm really struggling to work full time & be mom & cook a good dinner at least 5/7 nights (I work 2 late nights) and keep house, laundry, etc - I do have a spouse - who won't/can't help more. And I, for the most part, believe what I do at work helps people - it would be really nice to work a few hours a day to have more time at home to do what is also valuable an necessary. There is no perfect scenerio for most of us that is actually do-able.

Change will come "ready or not" with the card year you're in - and you may not have any control over it or any way to prepare for it. Something will happen to bring things back into balance for the next cycle. Your dreams could be trying to create awareness so that when change does come you will be more flexible with it. There's no harm in creating a resume if you don't have one or expanding your own education at a local or reputable online college - but changes will have to be made in other areas to make it doable for you.

A note on "blocking" energies - are you able to recognize that they're not yours yet? Consistently? You can't effectively block someone else's stuff if you don't recognize it's their stuff and not your stuff. It's also incredibly difficult to be in the healing arts without that skill.
 

JustJazzie

As to the very last thing you said - a few years ago I read something that has stuck with me - most don't "find" a purpose in life - it's not given to them - most people Create their purpose.

I've never had my aura read by someone who can see them but I am def a chameleon - I adapt to my surroundings (including people) - it's helpful to remember that even if you take on the traits, attitudes, beliefs, feelings of those around you it doesn't actually change You - though it can be truly exhausting. (This week I've been sleeping about 11-12/hrs day - even work days). If your sons are quite active and you find yourself going 100mph until you collapse - you're using up your energy by mimicking their energy so there is no reserve - that Crystal trait.

I think we all have fears that can't be overcome - they just have to be acknowledged and accepted. Again, because of your self-admitted uncontrollable empathy atm you need probably way more alone time than you get - while awake.

Ok, so there are a lot of 11's in your chart and you're going through a Death card year. The death card year is temporary - as is everything - and it's helpful to remember that. It's interesting that in your first dream someone actually dies - someone that someone else used to value (drug dealer) but no longer does and you don't stay. It's actually a healthy response (in my opinion) for a struggling empath to steer clear of other people's drama - no matter how involved you think you should be or how much you think you're supposed to care or help take care of the situation.

Back to the 11's - what do you consider your world? It's a question to figure out before you can figure out what you're supposed to be doing in it. Perhaps your contributions will be evident in the future when your son's begin to contribute to society. I had to make my world smaller to see a bigger picture. And have to generally stay away from the news - because I get literally sick if I am exposed to too much of it. Our world is sick - the entirety of it, from the environment to the beings on it. I know that and don't need reminded of it because then I can't productively do something about it in the capacity I am able.

There are a lot of other "stores" out there with enticing "merchandice." Cleaning the airport has just as much value as working in any one of those stores. Washing dishes is just as important as other tasks - you know that without dishes that there would be a domino effect in that community. You're taking on a task no one else wants to do. They'd rather leave the planet and go someplace they know where even more things would be taken care of for them.

Use your skills where you're at. If that causes you more trouble than good - it's time to change. I could Not be a SAHM and homeschool (not financially and not in my current environment) but I'm really struggling to work full time & be mom & cook a good dinner at least 5/7 nights (I work 2 late nights) and keep house, laundry, etc - I do have a spouse - who won't/can't help more. And I, for the most part, believe what I do at work helps people - it would be really nice to work a few hours a day to have more time at home to do what is also valuable an necessary. There is no perfect scenerio for most of us that is actually do-able.

Change will come "ready or not" with the card year you're in - and you may not have any control over it or any way to prepare for it. Something will happen to bring things back into balance for the next cycle. Your dreams could be trying to create awareness so that when change does come you will be more flexible with it. There's no harm in creating a resume if you don't have one or expanding your own education at a local or reputable online college - but changes will have to be made in other areas to make it doable for you.

A note on "blocking" energies - are you able to recognize that they're not yours yet? Consistently? You can't effectively block someone else's stuff if you don't recognize it's their stuff and not your stuff. It's also incredibly difficult to be in the healing arts without that skill.

Sorry its taken me so long to respond. I did read this, but its taken me quite some time to ponder your words.

I have definitely been feeling your first statement. I feel like one doesn't choose their life purpose, but perhaps I have to choose how to fulfill it. Meaning, if one is a "spiritual healer" they have about a million different ways to choose to fulfill that.

I resonate with your mention of the news. I quit watching many years ago. I don't expose myself to any news, violent shows/movies/books. They make me anxious, give me nightmares, and instill a sense of hopelessness within my core.

As for "blocking energies" I have come to the personal conclusion that its counter productive for me to try and block energies. What I have learned is how to identify others energies vs my own, but since a crystals nature is to cleanse, it goes against my nature to actively block that out. I am working on my efficiency of cleansing and releasing others energies, as well as recharging myself afterwards. I am able to block out groups (like say, going to the grocery store) but don't feel its possible to block out individuals, while still connecting with them, if that makes any sense at all.

I appreciate your notation that even the janitor has a very important place in the airport scenario. And just now I realized the parallel of a crystals cleansing, and a janitor. Definitely something to sit on a bit more.

I definitely feel my purpose at home is incredibly important right now and don't plan on shifting that. You're right, maybe the significance of that role will be more apparent later on in life.

And yes, again you are right. The change will come, ready or not. Perhaps I should stress about it less, and be more present while it unfolds. And perhaps- just as one has a life purpose but shapes that- I am able to take charge in shaping this transformation a bit as well. Or at least use the natural energies to my advantage in my personal goals?

Thanks so much for all your thoughts, it gave me lots to chew on. And thanks for staying with me through that jumble of thoughts!