Please help - divorce reading

garfield585

Hello everbody,

Here is my situation. My husband has someone else. I has just moved out to another state for better living condition. So the marriage doesnt work and we decide to end it as soon as possible. But the problem is my husband wants divorce now but doesnt want to initiate it, he just says he is busy, doesnt have time to find an attorney or go to court ir anything. I myself havent met residency requirement to file divorce in my new state bcoz i just moved. Its kinda annoying. I decide to draw 3 card reading of Deviant Moon. Here is the result:
Queen of Swords - King of Wands - King of Pentacles

Its very interesting. i can see Queen of Swords as me, a sharp, no-nonsense and divorcee woman. And King of Wands is my husband, an smart, out-going, flirtful, not-loyal guy. Actually King of wands is kinda haunting me re ently through monthly and weekly reading. But the King of Pentacles is kinda confusing. Can I see it as our attorney and the divorcing process is super slow and costs lots of money?
 

Fourteen

Hello everbody,

Here is my situation. My husband has someone else. I has just moved out to another state for better living condition. So the marriage doesnt work and we decide to end it as soon as possible. But the problem is my husband wants divorce now but doesnt want to initiate it, he just says he is busy, doesnt have time to find an attorney or go to court ir anything. I myself havent met residency requirement to file divorce in my new state bcoz i just moved. Its kinda annoying. I decide to draw 3 card reading of Deviant Moon. Here is the result:
Queen of Swords - King of Wands - King of Pentacles

Its very interesting. i can see Queen of Swords as me, a sharp, no-nonsense and divorcee woman. And King of Wands is my husband, an smart, out-going, flirtful, not-loyal guy. Actually King of wands is kinda haunting me re ently through monthly and weekly reading. But the King of Pentacles is kinda confusing. Can I see it as our attorney and the divorcing process is super slow and costs lots of money?

Hi Garfield,

from the cards you pulled I don't see the divorcing process being necessarily slow and therefore costing lots of money. To me, the cards just say that an attorney will be hired represented by the King of Pentacles, that the situation will not stay the way it is. Maybe you should ask that question specifically and do another spread, although timing is not very precise with Tarot.

Take care Garfield x
 

garfield585

Thanks Fourteen, as I see Pentacles I automaticcally think about sth sloww, very slow. Thats scary in this situation. Can you please tell me more about "...that the situation will not stay the way it is"? What make you think that way?
 

IndigoWaves

I agree that the Queen is you, feeling cold and sharply aware of the betrayal, but I'm actually seeing both Kings as different "sides" of your husband: a Wandsy flirt who sought a new lady to fluff his ego, and an Earthy, security-driven man who — despite what he may say — stubbornly wants to hold onto you/the marriage (as evidenced by delay tactics), even if only as a "backup plan"... So, I'm not seeing divorce in these particular cards; it does seem to be very much up to you to push one through, when and if you so desire.
 

garfield585

Hi IndigoWaves, part of me feel and understanding about King of pentacles that way too but he is the one who suggests and pushing me to divorce right away. Yes, I want a divorce but not tomorrow, it should be at the end of this year as my plan. And also him trying to be friend, trying to talk to me about my future plan even about future travel trip with me. And I was like what the heck did he think im gonna go with him? When I decide to end a relationship, i do it sharp, and quick, no prolonged pain or mourning or even talking. So should I or do you have any suggestion in how to conduct another reading for more clarification?
 

IndigoWaves

When I decide to end a relationship, i do it sharp, and quick, no prolonged pain or mourning or even talking. So should I or do you have any suggestion in how to conduct another reading for more clarification?
Asking your cards (in a new reading) something like: "What would happen if I do 'X'?" or "How can I most effectively make 'Y' happen?" would probably be helpful, but not really a general, "What should I do?" which Tarot isn't great at. Take care.
 

garfield585

Asking your cards (in a new reading) something like: "What would happen if I do 'X'?" or "How can I most effectively make 'Y' happen?" would probably be helpful, but not really a general, "What should I do?" which Tarot isn't great at. Take care.

Although I tried to be grounded and focused in this new reading, a few cards jumped out trying to catch my attention. ( no card jumping out in my first reading). They are 9 of pentacles ( single lonely but happy woman 😁) twice, 4 of wands and ace of cups, twice too.

The question is: What would happen if I tried to divorce in this July with or without a lawyer?
Result: 4 of wands - ace of cups - emperor.

That is very interesting. 4 of wands and ace of cups also jumped out twice.

This time I can see Emperor is my husband. A dominant agressive Aries. So please correct me if i am wrong. He will try to control me through the process, mess up with our emotion (he is very good at playing with others' mind and emotion. He is good but I'm better). But the result is still good. i still can finalize the divorce the way i want to and have a good celebration for my "winning". Oh my, it sounds immatured. But reading that way only makes sense if i read it from right to left. So why the emperor is in the last position? I never assign particular question or position for each card, i always do a 3-card reading,and 3-card is enough to give me a whole picture of what i am asking, but this time i am lost. These combination are not what I expected and they are weird to me.
 

Maru

I'm in agreement with IndigoWaves. I also see these two Kings as varying sides of your husband. The KoW is the "nastier", less reliable one... (the one you like the least at this moment)... while the KoP "conflicts" because he is the embodiment of reliability and stability at his height. Though potentially the most selfish King.

I could see the KoP as being a "remaining" influence from the marriage. Similar to 'phantom pain' or 'sensory'. When an injury has been made, has physically healed, but the pain still remains for a little while... and with it being Pents, the energy does tend to have more "staying" power as it is buried with Earth.

Think confrontation of the QoS + KoW... maybe remaining feelings or relighting of your old feelings. I can see the KoW as being a stealth torch bearer to "empower" this KoP... the QoS is "weakened" here atm due to her still being wounded from the past (first card--foundation card)

KoW + KoP can be confusing to this Queen when it comes to emotional collateral. It wouldn't be objective to say these Kings are dishonest. They both pretty much show their hands. The QoS is not as trusting, and some people may (wrongfully) misjudge this as a "weakness" in her barriers. Both Kings are authentic in their own right, something this Queen respects (honesty and integrity), so these traits can be used to at least get her to work with them. The first one true to his passions. The second, getting the most out of the situation...(particularly estate matters, etc)... however, the KoP may continue a relationship (or non-relationship) for as long as it's financially beneficial. He may be honest about this, he may not be, but with the appearance of this Queen against two other court cards (and no majors/A-10 minors), we're definitely looking at competition of energies here...

The "weakness" to the QoS is that sometimes she lacks self-compassion. She believes in truth and honesty to the point it literally hurts. She will cut herself in the process, even though this is how she deals with her personal wounds, emotional weakness of any kind of a "burden" to carry. For example, she may have suspected something in the past about another person's behavior, but she may find ways to reason it away... because it's an emotional response, she doesn't trust it so she doubts her ability to aptly pick up accurately on a situation... even though she sees a lot of "wrong" in the room.

This can lead her to repeating some of the bad decision making of the past if she doesn't reconcile this. She is hard on the front-end, but she is quite mushy on the inside. She becomes wrapped up with her own emotional/logical contradictions rather than paying full attention to what is going on in front of her. So she won't necessarily hurry up to "cut ties" as much as you would expect... this Queen DOES having feelings, it's just she values being /reasonable/ and hates it when the other courts poke fun at her for her serious nature... when in fact, it's the fact she treats it seriously at all is one reason she cares ...

If you're still hurting. Both these Kings will know it. They didn't get to the top of their game without knowing the competition. If they see a weakness here to exploit, and they're not alwayas on the "up and up" (which the QoS knows for is a fact of life with human behavior), then she will be on the look out. But if she is still emotionally hurting, or otherwise dealing with internal logical drama, she may be "off balance" in this setting and this can put both Kings at the top of her game. (And they're at a huge advantage, because emotions are typically a woman's game... meanwhile we're dealing with a Swords... KoW can make plays and pull strings to get some kind of emotinoal reaction, while the KoP side can come in take advantage of this for more materialistic purposes.... why the Tarot would only show you courts when we're talking about legal proceedings--who knows--but I think too many contrasts here to avoid. As far as the ability to divorce, I think just get to the point when you can... file as soon as you can and not a day later... is about all you can do. But don't let this Wands/Pent back into your life if this is just going to distract you from this process... KoP is going to be concerned what is in it for him, not necessarily what is fair (That is more Swords...)... and when you were married to him, your goals were the same, but because a divorce is in the future, then you are at odds with his bottom line and it could be depicting that is what it'll be about.

Because it is the JUST the QoS, (which wrongfully or rightfully is the "divorcee" card), it concerns me that your energy is not "ahead of you"... that is, you're at the beginning of the spread--the seed of this whole process... in the meantime, you have potentially two Kings that can manipulate you or the process... all the while, you're clearly going to be "stuck in the past" in a sense dealing with your own hurt...

QoS is an amazing woman at her highest potential. Calm, witty, focused... she can take it as well as she can deal it... she just goes by what's in her heart and stays true to her own sense of integrity and honesty and this is what her bolsters her self-image. She is a tough cookie. The cards may have chosen to put her in the front of the spread to say that you have the potential to be a victor in this sense-- (walk out with your integrity)-- but you may have to deal with two-face behavior (get it--two Kings?)--before it will resolve itself. i.e. you may have to do a whole lot of calling people out on their BS and the divorce may only happen as a matter of a "default"... I can see the KP as being "well, I can lose her--but I can't lose my money"... so if he sees lawyers poking their head around his financial business, he may suddenly find the time that has gone missing, for example and hire his own.

I think outside of serving papers and legal matters, you probably don't need him in the mix to "push this". If anything, his personal drama and his tendency to want things done a particular way may even get in the way... KoW = lots of personality.... KoP = "the man with the plan"

In other words, let's the lawyers have their chat when the time comes, but I would put Lady Gaga's Poker Face on repeat as this is what QoS excells at--is Poker Face... as that is the ESSENCE of QoS in legal proceedings... she can beat these two Kings at their game when her true potential is accessed. You just have to cut through the cr*p and get it done... do things that a Sword would do. Asks direct questions of your counsel, look for people in similar positions and garner a system of emotional support and maybe even reach out to someone with a more elite knowledge of these types of matters if you have those types of connections.

Lastly, I don't like to read repeater cards because they are highly personalized, but I would think a KoW in your situation would be my inner self calling out I've not fully "dealt with" my something with that card... it's not unreasonable either. If you had an otherwise OK marriage outside of an affair, then this "new guy" (KoW) may be a bit of an imposter. Like who is this guy? It is rushing it to try to undo years of "good" feelings in a quick pen stroke. The QoS will want to end the pain as quickly as possible because the sooner it is over, the quicker it gets back to the normal... the problem with this, is this is /not reasonable/... you can't undo years of love and matrimony in a few short minutes... The QoS can tank through those emotions--sure--but when the pile is tall and complex, she especially of ALL the Courts needs to take ample time (and consideration) to make sure she is fully ready for the process. This is a woman, so she is emotional--but her game is "logic"... if she could cherry pick battles, this one would not be it because she's at a huge disadvantage. KoW is a bit of a chameleon and with an opportunistic "KoP", the last thing you need is someone who has their own agenda (and hot or not emotions) to come into the mix and confuse this process... so make sure you're giving yourself the dignity of having the time and space to heal.

I think in light of this spread, it's more a matter of separating your stuff and his stuff at this point. I think this is the main reason you got two Kings... The healing between you and the KoW could still need to be dealt with (maybe the card to study more closely here)... maybe even the QoS is not done being angry with him on some level too and she still feels she has one cutting remark to make before she can officially disembark... I think ultimately, the reasons he moved on are his personal reasons and him living whatever personal truth he believes he is living. That is his choice. Just like your entitled to your own choices and perception of the "truth" (QoS), you have to allow him his... so do what you really only need to deal with the KoP for divorce proceedings, but I /like/ this card for the ender because it suggests it can stay business if needs to (the personal history is too much for example)... because it suggests that once you get the KoW out of the picture, it follows a more predictable route. Making a deal becomes a lot easier and simpler for the QoS. KoP is worried about the physical baggage... KoW is more focused on the passionate aspects (affairs, relations, impulsive decision making, etc), making making a last stand (conquest) or otherwise bolstering his own ego... but you're not with him anymore (emotionally), so you have a choice to cut him out of the picture permanently.

With these being all court cards, there's no quint... so maybe Fool in this case? (Card 0) If this is your first divorce, maybe it is time to hit the library or Google... do your research about your unique situation. This Queen feels much more secure (and serene) when she has the Big Book of Facts by her side to back up her decision making. Seems kinda lonely, but you can always meet up with fellow divorcees and find a support group who understands exactly what you are going through. (Imagining some random scene from Desperate Housewives and the wives with voo doo dolls of their husbands/exes :joke:). I'm sure the moving adds it's extra strain... but in the very least, you are in a new place, so not likely to have too many reminders of the proceedings if they do become drawn out... I agree with Indigo he could try to make a return, but with him being Pents, he's more of a relationship out of convenience sorta guy... so just don't encourage him to stay near your place or visit and that should help nip that one in the bud... the laziest of Kings when it comes to emotional trips... unless there's something in it it for him if you know what I mean.

Did I mention her BS meter is top of it's class?.. :shhh: Consider her energy if you feel something is "off"

Edit:

Hi IndigoWaves, part of me feel and understanding about King of pentacles that way too but he is the one who suggests and pushing me to divorce right away. Yes, I want a divorce but not tomorrow, it should be at the end of this year as my plan. And also him trying to be friend, trying to talk to me about my future plan even about future travel trip with me. And I was like what the heck did he think im gonna go with him? When I decide to end a relationship, i do it sharp, and quick, no prolonged pain or mourning or even talking. So should I or do you have any suggestion in how to conduct another reading for more clarification?

I would consider this is the KoW influence at play. Saying one thing and doing another sounds about as impulsive as a Wands
 

garfield585

Oh Dear, many thanks to you Maru. I am much clarified and know what to do now. Married to him for 3-4 years so I know for sure just moving out but around him is not enough, I moved from New York to Texas. Im sick of those 2 Kings already. So far I just have a few stuff left at his place which im gonna pick up soon next month. I only concern about the cats but i think they are good with him for now. I am thinking if I should find an attorney bcoz this is a very simple case, no kids, no properties like: house, car, insurance, bank....nothing. through your reading, i decide to find a lawyer to make sure im on the right track and to avoid involving in any kind of unnecessary drama. It really eye-opener. Trying to get out of this manipulator is not easy, but i am nearly at the end of the road.