Problems with being an empath

I did a search and found an old thread on this, but it was started nearly five years ago, so I decided to start a new one!

My problem is that I feel other people's emotions very easily. I think this is part of being an empath; I've also heard of people feeling other's physical pain but I don't get this.

Anyway, I can usually tell almost immediately if someone likes me or not. I can see straight through falseness. This is a problem because I think sometimes I don't make an effort to be friendly with certain people because I feel that they don't like me. Obviously, opinions can be changed and perhaps being friendly with them would do this.

I also dislike crowds and it is essential for me to be able to spend some time alone every day. I just feel the need to get away from other people or else I can't relax properly.

From time to time I've been able to "find out" information about someone's life by looking at them- but this is rare. It's the feeling other's emotions part which is always there.

I suppose this is a useful ability to have, but in other ways it has its drawbacks!

Does anyone else get the same thing? And did I get the name for this right?

Yes you did Sian , get it right. It is much easier when you know and accept that you have this ability. It means you do not go through life with blinkers on and that helps a lot I think.

When you have a gift do not ignore it but rather try to develop it, it is part of who you are. It must be meant to be there for you and somehow or other you can utilize it to help others who are put in your path.

Most of the time if you sense others do not care for you then you can assume they do not care for themselves either. You are kind of a "mirror image" for them. Just go your own way you do not need negativity in your life anyway. If they are judging you then that is their problem not yours when they do not even know you.

You are a unique, one of a kind, person. Treasure that and build on it.

Yes, to an extent.

The problem with being in crowds I can identify with and by backing off from people before knowing them.

BUT, I think these feelings, personally, are also based on my own difficult dealings with people who were stronger in personality than me and perhaps a need for me to develop my lower chakras more.

Empathy, I feel, is part of the balance between compassion and dispassion but to allow it to rule takes away its true worth which is to see from a point of view which is not our own.

Perhaps we both need to work on how we can be bolder yet compassionate, easy yet not unfeeling.

Milfoil said:

Empathy, I feel, is part of the balance between compassion and dispassion but to allow it to rule takes away its true worth which is to see from a point of view which is not our own.

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You've said something very wise, here, Milfoil - and which bears repeating. It also bears repeating that there are many grounding/centering and shielding techniques that can help us make the most of empathy - use it for the good of the world - and not be crushed by it.

Helvetica said:

You've said something very wise, here, Milfoil - and which bears repeating. It also bears repeating that there are many grounding/centering and shielding techniques that can help us make the most of empathy - use it for the good of the world - and not be crushed by it.

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Yes - you said it better than I did. Not to be crushed by such a wonderful gift - thats the key. Discovering ourselves is a big part of this which starts with grounding, centering and sheilding. Sometimes we over react and sheild too much, excluding people without knowing it but when we balance we are able to know, to feel and to give without loosing ourselves in the process.

Milfoil said:

Sometimes we over react and sheild too much, excluding people without knowing it but when we balance we are able to know, to feel and to give without loosing ourselves in the process.

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Absolutely! The aim is not to build an armour around ourselves, but to anchor ourselves (in French, "grounding" is known as "anchoring") and to give ourselves a simple flexible shield - like the warriors of old, who could put up their round hand-held shields when needed, for the time needed, to prevent injury to the vital organs. But it does not stop engagement with the other, and understanding of the other from the inside, which is the great gift of the empath. A good technique should not create an armour.

I know exactly what you're going through, I had the same problem till I was taught to shield. Here: http://www.psipog.net/activepsy/book2.html#_Toc472931489 It explains it so easily, and it does help immensly! The info on grounding and centering is above it on the screen you only need to scroll up.

A person needs to do something to protect themselves against all the stuff being blasted at them, I'm sure you're tired of trying to distinguish yourself from what you're picking up. If the average person knew what you were talking about, this would be something taught in school to help a person function. But unfortunately, it's not. We have to find out on our own somehow.

Thanks everyone for your replies.

memries said:

Most of the time if you sense others do not care for you then you can assume they do not care for themselves either. You are kind of a "mirror image" for them. Just go your own way you do not need negativity in your life anyway. If they are judging you then that is their problem not yours when they do not even know you.

You are a unique, one of a kind, person. Treasure that and build on it.

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Aww, thanks Memries! It is difficult for me to know that people don't like me because I have quite low self esteem anyway, but I'll keep that in mind. People who judge you are not worth it, you're right.

Milfoil, Helvetica, and HudsonGray- You all make good points about grounding and shielding. Thanks for the link, HudsonGray!

I have read about these techniques before but you won't be surprised to know that I don't practice them. I find it hard to visualise things. Someone on another forum has recommended that I ground using water, for example washing my hands and imagining the excess energy going down the drain, and I think I need a "prop" like that to help me visualise.

Grounding and shielding are definitely things that I need to look into.

Thanks everyone once again.

ETA: Does anyone else here like it when it rains heavily? Perhaps this helps get rid of excess energy too?

Sian100 said:

I have read about these techniques before but you won't be surprised to know that I don't practice them. I find it hard to visualise things. Someone on another forum has recommended that I ground using water, for example washing my hands and imagining the excess energy going down the drain, and I think I need a "prop" like that to help me visualise.

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I went on a course to learn some of the grounding and shielding techniques I use, and to help me control visualisation. I visualise easily, but then it goes all over the place, and visualising can actually feed into the empathy-pain. For example, when I used to hear from my clients about something that happened to them, I not only felt it, but saw it perfectly, which could be horrible - nauseous even. So learning to direct visualisation, and to block certain images, can be useful. I don't think books are enough. If this is something that is crippling you, then you need to learn with someone who can guide you. Then you will be able to use your gift in a beautiful and empowered way

I'm glad I don't see things like you did, Helvetica!

Maybe I will need to look into more than just books if it continues to be a problem for me.

I also tried meditation to relax and I could do it successfully, but I started seeing shadows walking across the room in front of me whenever I was just doing something mundane. This scared me, so I stopped meditating. I would just tell them to leave me alone and nothing further would happen, but it was still unnerving. Perhaps this happened because I wasn't grounding or shielding too?

Sorry to ramble on!