Little Baron
Northwind said:
I agree.
I have had time to look at things a little differently since I exploded into this thread.
Last night, I went through the suit of Stones with Helvetica, one by one. Talking about them with someone else really opened the deck up to me. It was almost like taking a little trip through the landscape of the Haindl, pointing this and that out to a friend, discussing how we felt about it, and then walking on by to the next bit. I had found it hard to do that alone, and needed a little help in literally 'opening my eyes'. I think it was the break I needed; like a small doorway being opened. As I look back on that suit this morning, I remember that journey with my friend, but I can also see other twists, avenues and adventures I can take in the future as I work with my way in and out of the cards.
I have shelved the books - for now. I can see, as you say, that I need to find my own way first. Helvetica put it better than I can in describing it as 'visiting a new place'. Rather than seeking out a guide book or going on a tour, I can explore for myself and find the little bits that others may not have. I can chat to the locals and build up my own picture.
I often say to people that the beginnings of tarot are the most exciting - when you don't really know what you are looking at. When you are guessing. The revelations from doing so are so much fun. You havn't got to that point where things become tight and mundane. It is a whole new adventure. I often say that I wish I could get back to that place. And I am, but I just didn't realise. I was trying to pigeon-hole cards - put them in a box, give them a definition. As well as that not working, it also was not allowing me to connect to the deck personally and was why it was closing down to me, I think. And it was not fun!
My problems with Pollack, I think, was that I was that I was a passenger on her very own tour. It's like when someone tells you the entire story of a film that you havn't seen. It really isn't the same as if you have seen it yourself. It's like that saying 'You need to have been there'. When I have visited and stayed with the Haindl for a while, maybe I can look through that Minor's book and compare notes with Rachel. Hers will then be another opinion and account of the deck, rather than a standard that I can base a carbon copy on for myself.
Does that make sense? This post has evolved into something very special for me. I think that whatever I have been missing in tarot reading of late, has presented itself to me in this thread. I have answered a lot of my own questions, with the help of both you, Northwind, and Helvetica [not forgeting Gardener, who has been suggesting similar stuff as well].
Thanks
LB
