Quarents you do not get along with.

SilentBreeze

So I was asked to do a reading for someone I really don't like and who has wronged me in the past and now is suffering a case of bad luck. I did the reading but I really wasn't sure what to say how to advise someone with not very positive feelings in mind and I kind of froze up. Although I do feel bad for her and want to help. But I knew before hand that her bad luck was due to how she was treating others. I tried to read from the cards but they were saying the same thing, that it is because she was manipulating people and just really terrible to a lot of people. I didn't really know how to sugar coat it or help her. I didn't know how to say these things in the right way. Any suggestions for doing readings for people you have issues with.
 

celeste

Maybe suggest they see another reader who is not known to them. Say your knowing them may be hampering your ability to read clearly for them. (It may be true too-you may be adding your own bias without meaning to.)
 

Wildfyre

Explain in a professional manner that you feel it would be best for them to seek advice from a reader who doesn't know them personally, as you are afraid that you may be tainted by your knowledge of the Querent. (Believe me, I've used that line PLENTY of times!)

If you don't want to do the reading, simply don't. Don't let yourself get put into an uncomfortable situation. If you feel like you won't be able to give an honest, unbiased reading, or even if you're just uncomfortable with the Querent, then it would be best to not put yourself in that position.
 

Papageno

:confused:

if you dislike this person so much why are you doing a reading for her? why are you even on speaking terms? especially if she wronged you.
 

TarotMoon

There's really two answers to this question - one for now and one as you gain more experience. For now, if you're uncomfortable because of what you already know about the situation and you feel you know ahead of time what the cards will say, and you're not sure how to constructively tell her that - all of those are good reasons to do exactly as the reply above says and just tell her that you're too close to the situation to read objectively and she'd be best served by going to a reader she doesn't know.

But in time, and with practice, a couple of things should get easier. First of all, you may frequently find yourself in the position of reading for people you don't like. You may not even know them, but the way they act or the question they ask may give you a sense of dislike or unease. It's good to practice techniques for setting that aside. Remember that it actually doesn't matter how you feel about them - trust in the Universe to give them a good reading through you. You can acknowledge your own feelings or biases, imagine putting these feelings in a little box, and then closing the lid and setting it aside long enough to let the message flow through you unhindered. This allows you to give a professional reading to people no matter whether you like or dislike them, and is useful in a lot of other professions too.

Second, what will come with practice is learning how to give difficult news to someone. Let's say you didn't know her and saw what you did in the cards. I always believe the best approach is to be completely honest about what the reading shows, but delivered with as much compassion and constructive assistance as possible. Suppose you ask "what is the cause of your bad luck" and draw the Justice card. You can simply say - "Justice is associated with karma. It may be that you have wronged someone and need to set something right, and this bad luck is the Universe's way of bringing it to your attention. It may be helpful to think over the last few months and see if there is anything you might have inadvertently done that needs to be brought back into balance." This tells her 1) the bad news straightforwardly, 2) what she needs to do to fix it, and 3) allows her to save face by suggesting that it's possible it wasn't even intended.

Now if, because you know this person, she might believe you were speaking for yourself at that point, it would be best not to have done this reading at all - because even if it is what the cards show, there could be an appearance of bias on your part and she won't be able to accept the message as easily as she could from a stranger.

Hope that helps!
 

Dancing Bear

I agree if you dont feel you can do them dont...

I have said i cant do them and passed them onto someone else and
I have also done them , i found i took on a type of approach, and cut off the emotions to the person and pretended i had a stranger in front of me...Of course the cards came out as i knew they would and a little extra...
the readings turned out well and have had them come back,,I dont sugar coat anything but in the same breath i am not rude.. .. even though personally they the person are against my grain, and i would not choose them as a friend.. i will still try to help, as i am sure you wanted to... try this approach and pretend you are at a fair and a stranger has come up to you... what would you say then?


Ask your guides also they may be abe to steer in the right direction in advice... as they are unbiased and neutral...

luck to you
take care

DB xx


Tarot moon ~ pipped me at the post... I like your little method of the box a neat little idea :)
 

SunChariot

Same here. I wouldn't read for people I have issues with. There are a number of types of people I would not read for and that is one. Another would be people who do not have enough respect for Tarot.

Bar
 

Apollonia

There is always a potential for having one's own feelings, opinions, etc. intrude into a reading, and not just when you don't like the querent. Being friends with the querent, being physically attracted to him or her, or having their question hit too close to home can pose just as much of a problem as far as providing a meaningful reading.

Having an intention in place to read from a place of neutrality works wonders for giving balanced, unbiased readings, and it also helps keep you from getting drained when reading on highly emotional topics.
 

Tara2007

SilentBreeze said:
So I was asked to do a reading for someone I really don't like and who has wronged me in the past and now is suffering a case of bad luck. I did the reading but I really wasn't sure what to say how to advise someone with not very positive feelings in mind and I kind of froze up. Although I do feel bad for her and want to help. But I knew before hand that her bad luck was due to how she was treating others. I tried to read from the cards but they were saying the same thing, that it is because she was manipulating people and just really terrible to a lot of people. I didn't really know how to sugar coat it or help her. I didn't know how to say these things in the right way. Any suggestions for doing readings for people you have issues with.


MM SilentBreeze....you already did the reading for this woman, I gather. And you were so uncomfortable that you wonder how you might get through this kind of thing in the future.

I like to talk to a querent (sitter) first, even if I already know them, so I would likely just say it right out....look, I know we've had some conflict between us, but I still want to do this reading for you...and then I'd just tell her that I will be reading the cards as they come, and that at that point it won't be my personal opinion but my interpretation of what the tarot has to tell her.

But even with that she'd still be on thin ice with me. If she had a poor attitude or worse than that suggested that I was just being critical of her without just cause, then she'd have to find someone else to do a reading for her.

It comes down to this lady's intentions, I think. If she is trying to sort things out and IMPROVE her behaviour, then OK, I could be party to that, but if it's anything less than that.....I'd have to show her the door.
 

SilentBreeze

Tara2007 said:
MM SilentBreeze....you already did the reading for this woman, I gather. And you were so uncomfortable that you wonder how you might get through this kind of thing in the future.

I like to talk to a querent (sitter) first, even if I already know them, so I would likely just say it right out....look, I know we've had some conflict between us, but I still want to do this reading for you...and then I'd just tell her that I will be reading the cards as they come, and that at that point it won't be my personal opinion but my interpretation of what the tarot has to tell her.

But even with that she'd still be on thin ice with me. If she had a poor attitude or worse than that suggested that I was just being critical of her without just cause, then she'd have to find someone else to do a reading for her.

It comes down to this lady's intentions, I think. If she is trying to sort things out and IMPROVE her behaviour, then OK, I could be party to that, but if it's anything less than that.....I'd have to show her the door.

Thank you. This has been really helpful because the whole reading was kind of uncomfortable and the point was she really did want to change so I wanted to help her but maybe talking about it beforehand would have helped.

Thank you everyone else for the suggestions. I'm thinking I might get a reading done for her by someone else here... as a second opininon...I wish I saved what I got and then I could have gotten help interpreting because there were a lot of bad cards and I was trying my best not to be mean about it. I think I shall do another one and post it up in my readings.