When you are not "you" in a dream.....

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ChrisTheObscure's Avatar
ChrisTheObscure  ChrisTheObscure is offline
Join Date: 16 Aug 2002
Location: Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN USA
Posts: 215
Unhappy When you are not "you" in a dream.....

I had a really bizzare dream last night that I'd like some insight on, because in it I acted completely out of character for who I am in waking life.

I dreamed that I met and fell in love with this guy - he was literally everything I'd want in a partner, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. A lot of time passed in this dream, and at one point after we'd been together a while, I went out on an errand and ended up cheating on him. He found out, was very hurt, and left me, telling me never to contact him again.

I woke up crying this morning, I felt so horrible. Even now at work, I'm finding I feel guilty about hurting this wonderful guy. The thing is, I'm not the kind of person that would do something like this. I'm fiercely loyal and when I'm in a relationship with someone, totally committed and monogamous.

Any thoughts?

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isthmus nekoi's Avatar
isthmus nekoi  isthmus nekoi is offline
Join Date: 14 Aug 2001
Location: toronto, canada
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isthmus nekoi 


I wouldn't worry about acting like the dream-you in waking life. What I get from this dream is something much less literal. If you don't agree w/the interpretation, then never you mind what I've got to say b/c your interpretation should always reign supreme ^_^

This boy who is your ideal partner may represent the inner elements which complete you in a sense, ie the feeling that you get when you're w/somebody who makes you feel *more* like yourself (and I don't just mean someone who flatters you, I mean someone who opens you up to the greater possibilities of yourself be that the light or the dark.)? I get the impression that this dream-boy acts as that kind of person for you, and for the time being, you've betrayed him ie betrayed your potential self. Which is, I mean, everyone cops out now and then in our society - you can't be 100% honest in every single thing you do when you don't click w/society's expectations of what you are and should be. Everyone's got to conform to function in a greater social system. The question is, how much can you conform w/o selling yourself out?

About the boy telling you never to contact him again... I'd say give yourself time, be patient w/yourself. I know society can be really rigid, esp if you are against certain ideologies/belief systems. But if you felt really bad about the dream, maybe it is time to reevaluate where you stand. All I know is that even in a capitalist system, you can't sell your soul b/c a soul is not something you can own. What you *can* do, is shove it away in a dark drawer somewhere and pretend it doesn't exist and when the time comes that you want to get it back, you might have a lot of difficulties finding it again. Of course, I'd like to believe that it's never to late when it comes to reinstating the integrity of the soul. So be true to yourself guy, cuz right now it's worth the struggle.

To answer your topic question, I think it's pretty common to be someone else in your dreams. I've been different ages, different genders, different nationalities, dead and alive, cruel and compassionate, straight and gay, you name it.
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ChrisTheObscure's Avatar
ChrisTheObscure  ChrisTheObscure is offline
Join Date: 16 Aug 2002
Location: Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN USA
Posts: 215

isthmus...interesting thoughts, I appreciate them.

I honestly hadn't considered the lover in my dream being a part of myself. I'm going to have to chew on this some more.

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zorya's Avatar
zorya  zorya is offline
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Join Date: 18 Mar 2002
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it could be as simple as an inner fear you might have that if you do get into a great relationship, you will somehow blow it. cheating on someone in a dream does not in any way mean that you will or would cheat on someone. i think it just represents (fear of) destroying a relationship.
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Teranar's Avatar
Teranar  Teranar is offline
Join Date: 29 Sep 2002
Location: Nashville
Posts: 455

If he was everything you wanted in a partner, maybe he represented a mirror of you, perhaps telling you that you aren't forgiving enough. Have you done anything like what he said to you to any friends?

But I have had some dreams where I did some completely nasty horrid things to people I dislike. I'm just happy I don't actually do these things.
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Laurel's Avatar
Laurel  Laurel is offline
Join Date: 17 Jul 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 974

Sometimes I have dreams which are pure stories, from beginning to end. I'm not a direct participant in them, but nonetheless the story that is told effects me emotionally on an extreme level. I can wake up feeling extremely sad or depressed or outraged because of the events that have happened to these imaginary people in my dreams. Even wake up crying, because the protagonist in my dream was crying.

It doesn't happen every night, but it happens at least once a month. Reading books or watching movies can on occaison get the same gut emotional reaction from me as well, but less often.

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isthmus nekoi's Avatar
isthmus nekoi  isthmus nekoi is offline
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isthmus nekoi 

You're very welcome, Chris I just came up w/that interpretation b/c I got the same vibe from the other dream you posted (and I suppose a bit of my own projections in there ^_~), but as I said before, you're the best interpreter for the message!
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ladycj's Avatar
ladycj  ladycj is offline
Join Date: 29 Mar 2002
Location: California
Posts: 166

I totally agree about the person being the best one to interpret a dream. Usually when I'm interpreting someone's dream, I'll ask them what certain things mean to them. That way you get an interpretation that is tailor made for that person. I try to stear away from "book" meanings unless I am completely stumped.

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Natalya's Avatar
Natalya  Natalya is offline
Join Date: 10 Jun 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 73

Some people believe that everyone in the dreams reprensents you in a way
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VmprGokuboi69's Avatar
VmprGokuboi69  VmprGokuboi69 is offline
Join Date: 09 Apr 2002
Location: Illinois
Posts: 103

Maybe your subconcious is throwing a non reality check on you... Just to question your beliefs and how you act.

There are some that argue what is reality... are our dreams the reality? or are they just a figment of our subconcious. Or is the real reality what we wake up to every day and get away from every night...
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