Are we being truthful with each other?

I was thinking today (I think other days too) about AT and readings. I LOVE AT and when the server was being upgraded I was going through withdrawls **Hi my name is Heavensent and I am addicted to AT**. Anyway, I digress. I was reading through the threads in the reading exchange and while I have come across some very good readers (thank goodness), has anyone ever seen a reading here that said......sorry you won't be able to keep that house or no he/she doesn't love you and is with someone else and/or having an affair or yes, your pet has run away and isn't coming back. Are we all too nice (I don't have a problem with that, just asking) and afraid to hurt someone's feelings by telling the truth of the situation? I could be wrong, I am human. Just wanted to know if anyone has seen this and your thoughts.

actually heavensent, i have had a few readings here that did not give great and happy information to me. some of those 'bad' readings came true. one was (thankfully!) way off. i felt the reader misinterpreted the cards, and since my question was very vague, i could see another way of interpreting the cards with my question. i let the reader know this, and they agreed then, when they knew the full 'story' and yea! it happened just as those cards (& my interp) said it would.

so, yes, a few people may have trouble being completely honest, and at times this is difficult. however, i've had a few that were brutally honest with me, and though some did come true, and hurt me, i realize that is the way life is. i would rather honesty then not.

I generally pull no punches in my readings, but I try to be kind when dispensing bad news or point out the positive side of a negitive...you are losing your house..change is good.... but I will PM if I feel it is even close to being overly personal or sensitive. I have had to do that in the past. Perhaps that is why you see few negative readings posted, we PM them first.

I too prefer honesty. I just know that sometimes we want to make and keep friends here and telling them something they don't want to hear is difficult. I so far (thank goodness) haven't come across a reading where I had to tell something of this nature to someone here but as my aunt used to say "keep living" and I know it is inevitable, not wishing 'bad' on anyone though.

Well, I have given both good and bad readings, both are posted, I believe. You aren't doing the querent any good if you aren't completely honest with them. Whereas, I don't believe in trashing someone's feelings by being horribly blunt, there are ways of saying things that are,............how shall I put it,....... to the point but diplomatic. I do not mean sugarcoat it either.


Baroli

A couple of the most useful readings I've received here were actually not that 'positive', but came with solid and positive advice. Perhaps some people are too nice, I can't know that, but I know for a fact that a lot of readers here will say what they see and I always try to do the same. Being tactful doesn't hurt of course, I'm still working on that! (I have been called brutal ) Then there's always the chance I'm wrong, so I won't be too emphatic on delivering a reading that may be of great importance to the other person, whether I see a good or bad 'outcome'.

I guess the seeing is one part of the art, the telling is the other. I believe we have a duty to be truthful, but also to be considerate and responsible. Sometimes it's an issue of finding the balance between them all...

An Aside

Heavensent said: "I LOVE AT and when the server was being upgraded I was going through withdrawls **"

I was too! And what I found funny as well was the posts from 2001 in the Forum Library - people were already commenting on their addiction to AT (there were only 500 members then - they found the number shocking!)

This is a very good comment/question, Heavensent, and one I've pondered over myself.

It doesn't do anyone any good to give a false positive reading, in my opinion. It doesn't help the reader to get any better, and it doesn't help the querent to find his truth.

What I would like to see and do myself in a better fashion is to tell what I see...and why I see it that way and then be prepared to be told why I could be right or wrong.

I hate to admit that I'm a wuss, though. There are readings I don't comment on (where I see something very different from what others are saying) because 1) I second guess myself and 2) I hate trying to deliver bad news in fancy wrapping paper with a pretty bow on top.

I need to buck up more.

Like starry, I'lloften shy from giving a negative response if all I see are positive ones because imight be questioning my own interpretation.
But one of the first tarot readers I ever knew once told me that it was not the reader's place to be fatalistic, so I'll often temper unwelcome newds with positive advice...after all, no card is pure good or pure bad.
If I saw things as especially negative, however, I think a pm is more my style...

I don't mind getting bad news, though

Heavensent said:

…I was reading through the threads in the reading exchange and while I have come across some very good readers (thank goodness), has anyone ever seen a reading here that said......sorry you won't be able to keep that house or no he/she doesn't love you and is with someone else and/or having an affair or yes, your pet has run away and isn't coming back. Are we all too nice (I don't have a problem with that, just asking) and afraid to hurt someone's feelings by telling the truth of the situation?

Click to expand...

What a great topic!

So allow me to answer honestly. That said, I can only discuss my experiences as a posting reader.

Yeah – I’ve given some readings that were way way off.

I’ve given readings that I..uh…sugar coated.

I may have done one or two that were brutal. I really don’t remember.

But one…and one in particular – I had a choice. I could have been honest and said exactly what the cards told me. But I didn’t like the outcome – it was way beyond unpleasant. I remember turning over the cards and uttering very bad bad words and then tried to figure out how to put it delicately.

Then I had an option.

I could sit back and watch the sitter make their choices and…

Or I could intervene. Cultivate a friendship. Help them see options, and help move them away from their path. That was a very scary option. It meant I had to get my hands dirty, I had to do work, I had to be responsible, I had to act with integrity. And that was the course I took.

In retrospect – I’m very glad I did. I think they are too.

Honesty – is not always the best policy. Offering solutions and hope is. And sometimes that’s not always the easy choice.