Sometimes, there really IS no meaning...

[gingerkid]

Reflect back to Metafizzypop's What Was the Point? spread and you'll see what I mean. It's a long spread, but fun!

Long story short...I've been playing around with online dating. I met a guy and we emailed for a couple of months, then decided to meet up. Best 3 "dates" I have ever gone on; I have never had that much in common or had so much to talk about with someone before, but then he just went missing. I know, classic "he's just not that into you"...but he really did seem into me rolleyes: I know, that's what they ALL say, right?) We were basically just friends, getting to know each other- but I thought it could have developed into more, given time. So "what was the point of this interaction?" I asked my Robin Wood deck, no rx.

1 - What did I learn from my experience with this person?

The Fool- I learned not to be an idiot and think that guys can be trusted. Nah, I struck out on a new horizon with him...I had faith in men again. It was good to start over after bad experiences in the past. But now I do feel foolish.

2 - What did I gain from my experience with this person?

4 of Swords- I gained some “peace of mind,” some healing. There are lots of fish in the sea...there is “life after ex.”

3 - What did I lose because of my experience with this person?

Knight of Wands- passion...zest for dating. I’m soured on the whole thing right now and unwilling to take anymore chances because men are so ridiculous and I have better things to do than waste my time with their stupidity.

4 - My subconscious feelings about losing the person.

10 of Cups- I am hurt. I really did like him as a person.

5 - What did he learn from his experience with me?

Knight of Swords- how to be an "idiot".... (ha ha cards I agree with you)

6 - What did he gain from his experience with me?

3 of Cups- friendship, laughter, fun. We had a great time together.

7 - What did he lose because of his experience with me?

King of Swords- Clarity, a sense of a “clear cut” purpose. Perhaps some resolve that he had prior to the experience with me, he lost a bit through the experience.

8 - His subconscious feelings about losing me.

Page of Swords- No skin off his nose. He was just messing around. For him, looks like it was more of an intellectual connection...

9 - What karmic factors brought him into my life?

5 of Cups- I was concentrating too much on the disappointments of the past and karma wanted to show me there are other options out there.

10 - What karmic factors brought me into his life?

5 of Wands- Since he found me on a dating website, perhaps it was just by chance because he is talking to tons of other women? And the more options you have, the better chance it is (the word “competition’ came to my mind here).

11 - What did he gain by ending the relationship with me?

3 of Pents- He can now focus on his career goals.

12 - What did he lose by ending the relationship?

Ace of Swords- a chance for some great conversation/communication (and I always think of swords as sexual, too, so none of that for him...haha).

13 - What did I gain by his ending the relationship with me?

6 of Cups- a chance to go back out into the dating pool and meet other people out there...

14 - What did I lose by his ending the relationship?

3 of Wands- what I thought was a chance at a real connection, but that ship has sailed...

My deck started to have a sense of humor, here...
15 - What was the point of this relationship?

Death- see, there was NO point, still! Absolutely none- it was meant to be short-lived. (Maybe the correct answer was that some sort of change was supposed to happen, but I’m not seeing it).

16 - What was the meaning of it?

6 of Swords- getting away from past disappointments, again, that kind of negates the meaning...

17 - What was the essence of it?

7 of Swords- hidden, no essence. We were keeping things from each other, I think. It was an “um friendship” so we didn’t ask many questions of each other. Just had fun.

18 - What was the foundation of it?

The Hermit- being alone; again, no foundation. We both were single and wanted to stay that way more than have a relationship. But what’s wrong with a friendship?

19 - What is the future of it?

2 of Cups- what? Maybe we will have a friendship? Or again, I’m back in the dating pool?
This card kind of threw me for a loop because it does not fit with any of the others...

So see? Sometimes, there really IS no meaning...except that men are ridiculous.

 

[MysticHope]

ah...à l'amour. It is a difficult thing to come across and I'm appreciating you're situation here and how you seem to have an excellent outlook on your current predicament. I hope all works out for you in your endeavors to find your 'ridiculous man'.

blessings

Stephanie

 

[Metafizzypop]

Hi gingerkid, and thanks for posting this. I'm glad you had fun with my spread. I was curious about the results, too.

Maybe this is a case of "he's not that into you," but it might also be a case of commitmentphobia. That happens when dates go well. Too well in his opinion. But anyway.......

I thought that you really nailed the meanings for the cards. But what struck me was that in the karma questions, both of you got 5s of something. It makes it seem like you two really were destined to run into each other. Like ships passing in the night, as they say. Though yours was a card of loss, his was a card of conflict. I wonder if in his past he's had some troubles with relationships, and this is what is making him keep his distance in forming a new relationship.

I noticed that there's a number of Swords in this reading. In fact, in cards 5 to 8, which show the date's POV, all of the male court cards for Swords showed up, with the 3 of Cups wedged in. Sounds like a rough guy who likes to party. The fact that he "learned" the Knight but "lost" the King I think implies he learned something youthful (irresponsible) at the expense of the more mature and stable things. His focus may be on not growing up, and that row of cards does end with a Page.

Yes, Death was funny. So was the Fool. But it was nice that the reading ended with the 2 of Cups. I think it shows that he has nice feelings for you. He did not leave because of anything bad, but because of his own idiosyncrasies. He did have a good time. He just isn't ready for a relationship. I realize that he's on an internet dating service, but I don't think that necessarily means he's looking for something serious. He might be entertaining himself with it, or maybe he just doesn't know what he wants.

 

[gingerkid]

Thanks, Stephanie! No matter what happens to me in life, I try hard to keep my sense of humor intact...

Hi gingerkid, and thanks for posting this. I'm glad you had fun with my spread. I was curious about the results, too.

Maybe this is a case of "he's not that into you," but it might also be a case of commitmentphobia. That happens when dates go well. Too well in his opinion. But anyway.......

I thought that you really nailed the meanings for the cards. But what struck me was that in the karma questions, both of you got 5s of something. It makes it seem like you two really were destined to run into each other. Like ships passing in the night, as they say. Though yours was a card of loss, his was a card of conflict. I wonder if in his past he's had some troubles with relationships, and this is what is making him keep his distance in forming a new relationship.

You're welcome, Metafizzypop! It is a great spread. Interesting observation with the 5s...that actually makes a lot of sense. I had just gotten over my ex and been single for a couple of years when I decided to try internet dating to expand my social circle a bit. I know that he had a rough time with his last relationship, too, though I'm not sure exactly what happened. I know that he keeps his distance from relationships beyond friendship in general...he mentioned to me that he doesn't "make himself available easily." (Heh thought I was the exception...but I should have taken that for what it was, I guess!)

I noticed that there's a number of Swords in this reading. In fact, in cards 5 to 8, which show the date's POV, all of the male court cards for Swords showed up, with the 3 of Cups wedged in. Sounds like a rough guy who likes to party. The fact that he "learned" the Knight but "lost" the King I think implies he learned something youthful (irresponsible) at the expense of the more mature and stable things. His focus may be on not growing up, and that row of cards does end with a Page.

Oooh, good point on those male swords! He's a communicator/intellectual guy. He does like to have a good time- works hard and plays hard. Definitely not ready to grow up yet-that progression ending with the Page does show that, you're right. And definitely was irresponsible here.

Yes, Death was funny. So was the Fool. But it was nice that the reading ended with the 2 of Cups. I think it shows that he has nice feelings for you. He did not leave because of anything bad, but because of his own idiosyncrasies. He did have a good time. He just isn't ready for a relationship. I realize that he's on an internet dating service, but I don't think that necessarily means he's looking for something serious. He might be entertaining himself with it, or maybe he just doesn't know what he wants.

I love my Robin Wood- it's really sarcastic sometimes, but with a light touch. Yeah, I have to be honest; my original thought right after it happened was that he did like me, but something about our connection had to have scared him off...and I know it's not me, it's him, because I don't have any issues. It just made no sense to me, because it wasn't rational to just run off instead of just telling me the truth (knight vs. king of swords right there, right!) Oh, men .

(I'm half-kidding because I do like men, and I have had some good ones in my life..though I always seem to attract the ones with a lot of issues and plenty of immaturity to spare!)

 

[le fey]

All those swords courts on his side - he's got quite the issue with communication!

Wanted to comment on the Death card - this was your 'back into the pool' experience after a breakup yes? Perhaps the purpose of this one was to teach you that things end - in a less emotionally intense situation than the previous breakup. A step along the path of coming to grips with that. Maybe not the most fun lesson ever, but there's a point to it nevertheless, esp if letting the previous relationship go was a hard thing for you to do.

Learning how to let things run their course and moving on without massive damage is part of what it takes to even be able to risk trying again.

 

[gingerkid]

Wanted to comment on the Death card - this was your 'back into the pool' experience after a breakup yes? Perhaps the purpose of this one was to teach you that things end - in a less emotionally intense situation than the previous breakup. A step along the path of coming to grips with that. Maybe not the most fun lesson ever, but there's a point to it nevertheless, esp if letting the previous relationship go was a hard thing for you to do.

Learning how to let things run their course and moving on without massive damage is part of what it takes to even be able to risk trying again.

That's a very good point, le fey, thank you! Yes, it was my "back into the pool" experience...I had been on numerous first dates that went nowhere or with guys that flaked out on me, but this guy was the first one I actually respected and liked. I did think I needed this lesson, as frustrating as it was, because my confidence was badly shaken after the breakup with the ex...but why did it have to be with the guy I really liked? Why not a less interesting guy?

 

[MeeWah]

So "what was the point of this interaction?" I asked my Robin Wood deck...

That there is life after love (13-Death; 6-Swords; 7-Swords; 9-The Hermit; 2-Cups).

The sequence of these cards read like a story line of 'Been there, done that, etc.'

To your credit the sense of humour intact. Or is that the recognition the absurd abounds?

Note his karmic factor as 5-Cups; yours, 5-Wands. Something for each to learn regarding love/emotions & the challenges of same with regard to the expectations.

Sometimes, for whatever reason, one or both parties not clear on exactly that desired in a relationship & from another person. His may be a fear of commitment, possibly from past disappointments or even a reluctance to mature & accept responsibility. Yours, to learn that a challenge or setback need not leave one powerless.

Generally, I see your takes to be very insightful. ((((((gingerkid))))))

 

[GreenMoonBeam]

....
that went nowhere or with guys that flaked out on me, but this guy was the first one I actually respected and liked. I did think I needed this lesson, as frustrating as it was, because my confidence was badly shaken after the breakup with the ex...but why did it have to be with the guy I really liked? Why not a less interesting guy?

my feeling is that it happened this way to allow you to go further in your journey(The Fool), a truly karmic happening ((((gingerkid)))). Men

 

[gingerkid]

That there is life after love (13-Death; 6-Swords; 7-Swords; 9-The Hermit; 2-Cups).

The sequence of these cards read like a story line of 'Been there, done that, etc.'

To your credit the sense of humour intact. Or is that the recognition the absurd abounds?

Note his karmic factor as 5-Cups; yours, 5-Wands. Something for each to learn regarding love/emotions & the challenges of same with regard to the expectations.

Sometimes, for whatever reason, one or both parties not clear on exactly that desired in a relationship & from another person. His may be a fear of commitment, possibly from past disappointments or even a reluctance to mature & accept responsibility. Yours, to learn that a challenge or setback need not leave one powerless.

Generally, I see your takes to be very insightful. ((((((gingerkid))))))

Thanks, MeeWah, for your insight and your hugs! It does seem to me now that this interaction did have a meaning after all, however "not fun" the lesson was...

 

[gingerkid]

my feeling is that it happened this way to allow you to go further in your journey(The Fool), a truly karmic happening ((((gingerkid)))). Men

I know, men!! Thanks, GreenMoonbeam; I do agree. Strange how karmic happenings pop up in the weirdest places, at the weirdest times!