4 Nevada

Umbrae

Dear Nevada;

I dunno where to start. The last 7 weeks have been…interesting.

Not everybody who was at the receiving end deserved it.

That said, there are these conflicts that make no sense at all. You are doing this spiritual growth thing, and there is this relationship of some sort and they don’t seem to be meshing somehow. It’s not really that they don’t mesh, there is this third thing that is like a project or ‘thing’ that keeps getting in the way – but it shouldn’t. This relationship thing…makes little sense.

You need to keep in mind that you need to balance the Carpe’ Diem thing, and try not to run over toes as you do it. You’re in this growth stage, and you have to let things germinate before you see anything. If you keep picking at it, it won’t grow. And at the same time, you’re in a Carpe’ Diem stage… Damned if you do and damned if you don’t so do – but try to be gentle…

What does the word ‘sovereign’ mean to you?

Nevada

Umbrae, first of all, thank you. This is confusing, so I'll go through it bit by bit. Maybe it will clear up.

I dunno where to start.

LOL, was that you, Umbrae, or part of the reading? I've been feeling that way, overwhelmed. I have a lot of goals, which are often in conflict with one another. Things take so much time to do, I never feel that I have enough time to do it all.

The last 7 weeks have been…interesting.

I've spent the past seven weeks working on a particular project. This week I've been finishing up last minute small stuff. I hoped to finish this weekend, but also want to do some holiday visiting with family.

Not everybody who was at the receiving end deserved it.

I'm sorry, I don't know what this means, though it is a truism.

That said, there are these conflicts that make no sense at all. You are doing this spiritual growth thing, and there is this relationship of some sort and they don’t seem to be meshing somehow. It’s not really that they don’t mesh, there is this third thing that is like a project or ‘thing’ that keeps getting in the way – but it shouldn’t. This relationship thing…makes little sense.

I tend to create problems out of things that shouldn't be. I haven't been meshing my spiritual growth with the rest of my life very well. I've let it cause problems with focus and time management.

My husband helps me in my work. Is it possible that you were seeing a combination of work and marriage not meshing very well? It gets "odd" at times, when we're working on something together, merging the two in the same house where we live. One of the drawbacks is that it's very difficult to leave "work" behind at the end of the day and just spend time together.

You need to keep in mind that you need to balance the Carpe’ Diem thing, and try not to run over toes as you do it. You’re in this growth stage, and you have to let things germinate before you see anything. If you keep picking at it, it won’t grow. And at the same time, you’re in a Carpe’ Diem stage… Damned if you do and damned if you don’t so do – but try to be gentle…

I need to find a part time job soon.

What does the word ‘sovereign’ mean to you?

Sovereign means ... money? When I first saw the word here I thought of old gold coins. Royalty. Payment for writing is referred to as royalty. I'd like to see my writing support me, rather than have to depend on a job (even part time) forever. I have a lot of inner conflict about that. You said, "If you keep picking at it, it won't grow." I feel like I've been picking away at my writing career far too long, and maybe it's time to let it go.

I just don't see the point in doing it as a hobby, even though I love it, if no one ever reads it. These thoughts frustrate me. I go through these doubts whenever I'm finishing up a project, letting go of it and wondering where to send it first.

Nevada

Nevada

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