Advice for a friend...

haleyw

One of my very good friends went through periods of seeing people who have passed over. A couple of years ago she was seeing them everwhere, it got so bad it frightened her and caused her stress and migraines. To put an end to it she went to see a Spiritualist who closed her down and she hasn't seen anything since. The thing is, her father, very sadly passed away in August and she thought she would have felt him,or at least something. She believes she hasn't because she is so 'closed down'. She would like to know if she can be re-opened, but not fully to the extent she was before? Just enough to be open to recieving from the ones she actually wants to connect with?

Many thanks in advance.
 

Glitterbird

Since a spiritulist closed her down, maybe she should go back to see them. Or even to a medium who specializes with communicating with those who have passed.
 

haleyw

Since a spiritulist closed her down, maybe she should go back to see them. Or even to a medium who specializes with communicating with those who have passed.

Thanks! We thought that, but I thought I would ask on here first to find out if it can actually be done.
 

Milfoil

I dare say my comment will be heartily disagreed with but here goes. While I firmly believe that certain energies can be manipulated by certain people, what may have happened here is that your friend, by going to someone she recognises as a professional or as having an ability (belief) has given her the permission to not experience these things.

The gift that she was given has been rejected and it may take her own belief and committment to nurturing that gift to get it back. Just wanting to see her Dad may not be sufficient enough reason for this to be 'switched back on'.

Every medium I have spoken to, read about or been friends with has said the same thing, that even with a natural gift in this area, they have had to work for years to hone the skills and it certainly doesn't come easy. The trust and working relationship that a medium has with their guide comes from years of practice so gaining this ally over there will be her first step I would say and that could take a few years.

Talking to the medium who closed her down or another person she believes in will be a good first start but the rest, I fear, is up to her and what she intends to do with this skill.
 

Anna

I dare say my comment will be heartily disagreed with but here goes. While I firmly believe that certain energies can be manipulated by certain people, what may have happened here is that your friend, by going to someone she recognises as a professional or as having an ability (belief) has given her the permission to not experience these things.

The gift that she was given has been rejected and it may take her own belief and committment to nurturing that gift to get it back. Just wanting to see her Dad may not be sufficient enough reason for this to be 'switched back on'.

Every medium I have spoken to, read about or been friends with has said the same thing, that even with a natural gift in this area, they have had to work for years to hone the skills and it certainly doesn't come easy. The trust and working relationship that a medium has with their guide comes from years of practice so gaining this ally over there will be her first step I would say and that could take a few years.

Talking to the medium who closed her down or another person she believes in will be a good first start but the rest, I fear, is up to her and what she intends to do with this skill.

I completly agree with you.

I would perhaps add that with something like this, you don't get to pick and choose. It's like being outdoors and putting on a lamp, all sorts of creatures will be drawn to that light. You can't choose which ones can come and which ones must stay away.

My sister had a similar experience. We were reading tarot together one night, and I helped her to open up a bit further. She was flooded. The emotions were overwhelming. She had spirit people talking to her non stop for days. She only had to look at someone in the street or supermarket and their dead relatives would be right there asking her to pass messages. She closed herself down and has refused to ever do that again. It's a shame. She had incredible ability. Far more than I do.
 

Hemera

The thing is, her father, very sadly passed away in August and she thought she would have felt him,or at least something.
This just makes me wonder what is wrong with good old fashioned mourning. I mean.. why does she need a special contact to mourn her loss? And I mean no disrespect or anything like that. (I´ve had to ask these same questions myself a few years back.)
Contacting spirits one needs to be very strong and to know exactly what one is doing and it´s best to be experienced in it so as not to mess things up. So if your friend was scared of it earlier and wanted the spirits stop from coming she might have to be careful with all this?
Also, the way I see it, t may slow the process that the deceased needs to go thru to properly move over to the other side. I´m sure that is something your friend would not want to do? I think the best thing we can do is to mourn and to wish them bon voyage wherever they are but not really ask for a contact if we are not very very sure of what we are doing. Just my 2c..
 

haleyw

Thank you for all of your responses. Certainly given me some food for thought. Especially your comments - Hemera. I think it comes from total desperation. She just can not get her head around the fact that she will never see or speak to her father again. She can not come to terms with it. The way he passed was awful too and I think that adds to it. The fact that she could once do this without even trying or wanting to for that matter and now she really wants to and can't. Ironic I suppose, but may actually be for the best.

I have passed the comments on and now it's up to her how she chooses to move forward on this. I'll update if there is anything to tell.
 

Flaxen

I'm coming to this a bit late but I hope you don't mind me sharing my thoughts.

In my family, seeing spirits of deceased loved ones was quite normal - my elder systems regularly saw them and my younger sister and I often heard them.

Just over ten years ago, both my parents passed away quite suddenly with not much warning at all. Interestingly, none of us have seen or heard them since then. The only person who has is my youngest nephew who was born just before they died.

I believe this is due to the fact that he isn't carrying a load of emotional baggage and ambivalence regarding them. Like your friend, I wanted desperately to see my parents or hear from them after they passed away and couldn't understand why there was no contact. As time has gone on, I believe the issues are really mine. To some extent, I shut a lot of feelings out regarding their passing including a deep anger and the fact that I lost my faith and have struggled to regain it. While there still a part of me that would love to see them, there is also another part which is afraid - afraid because I might let that anger out, afraid that it will bring all those difficult memories and emotions back, afraid that they are angry with me, afraid that I have disappointed them...I could go on. :)

It is possible that your friend will be able to regain her ability but it may take time and a lot of healing of those difficult emotions.
 

raeanne

Hi haleyw,
I don't believe anyone else can "shut down" someone's abilities. I do believe that if you think they can, your abilities will indeed be shut down but in reality you are doing that to yourself. In all probability it can be restored just as easily as it was shut down. If you friend thinks the Spiritualist can do this, it will happen. I also agree with Anna - you don't get to pick and choose. If she regains the ability to see people who have passed, she doesn't get to say who comes through. Many mediums that I have talked to have a great deal of difficulty connecting with the people who mean the most to them. I don't know why this is but it seems very common. My guess is that even if your friend had never been shut down she still might not be able to pick up on the energy of her father. Maybe we all need to learn how to grieve and let go of our loved ones. If you could still talk to them after they passed, how would you learn to accept finality? My advice would be to give as much comfort as possible to your friend. One of my favorite lines from the poem "Desiderata" is:

"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
 

Hemera

Oh what a lovely poem! Goes straight to my notebook. Who has written this?

ETA: Ah, I think I found it: American writer Max Ehrmann (1872–1945)