Advice for a friend...

Sulis

Oh what a lovely poem! Goes straight to my notebook. Who has written this?

ETA: Ah, I think I found it: American writer Max Ehrmann (1872–1945)

Yes, it's 'The Desiderata'... Lovely poem :).
 

tarotbear

Not to derail this thread but La Desiderata resurfaced in the late 1960s and became very popular as a wall poster:

http://www.sfheart.com/desiderata.html

***Back to Thread ***

As I have stated too many times on AT - "I am not a receiver; I am a transmitter." I lived in a house for many years that 'bothered' people and probably had a lot more spirit activity going on - but I was blissfully unaware of it. Whether I once knew about it and blocked it out, or just am not 'in tune' enough to pick up on it I do not know.

IMHO - I would say your friend 'closed herself down', and like Dumbo's feather the spiritualist merely facilitated her but did not 'close her down.' Although I know you can develop your psychic senses with time and effort, it might be that once you experience them and close them down that you lose them. Regaining them may be possible, but 'filtering' them may not.

I highly agree with the concept that just because you can see other passed family members that you may not 'see' the one member you really wish to get in contact with. The dead are not on 'Facebook of The Dead' - just look them up and get an instant contact. Who knows what the Dead think about being annoyed constantly by the Living?

I wish your friend peace.
 

haleyw

I'm coming to this a bit late but I hope you don't mind me sharing my thoughts.

In my family, seeing spirits of deceased loved ones was quite normal - my elder systems regularly saw them and my younger sister and I often heard them.

Just over ten years ago, both my parents passed away quite suddenly with not much warning at all. Interestingly, none of us have seen or heard them since then. The only person who has is my youngest nephew who was born just before they died.

I believe this is due to the fact that he isn't carrying a load of emotional baggage and ambivalence regarding them. Like your friend, I wanted desperately to see my parents or hear from them after they passed away and couldn't understand why there was no contact. As time has gone on, I believe the issues are really mine. To some extent, I shut a lot of feelings out regarding their passing including a deep anger and the fact that I lost my faith and have struggled to regain it. While there still a part of me that would love to see them, there is also another part which is afraid - afraid because I might let that anger out, afraid that it will bring all those difficult memories and emotions back, afraid that they are angry with me, afraid that I have disappointed them...I could go on. :)

It is possible that your friend will be able to regain her ability but it may take time and a lot of healing of those difficult emotions.

Wow! I got goosebumps reading this because this is exactly how she describes it.

My heart goes out to you...

Thank you Flaxen!
 

haleyw

Hi haleyw,
I don't believe anyone else can "shut down" someone's abilities. I do believe that if you think they can, your abilities will indeed be shut down but in reality you are doing that to yourself. In all probability it can be restored just as easily as it was shut down. If you friend thinks the Spiritualist can do this, it will happen. I also agree with Anna - you don't get to pick and choose. If she regains the ability to see people who have passed, she doesn't get to say who comes through. Many mediums that I have talked to have a great deal of difficulty connecting with the people who mean the most to them. I don't know why this is but it seems very common. My guess is that even if your friend had never been shut down she still might not be able to pick up on the energy of her father. Maybe we all need to learn how to grieve and let go of our loved ones. If you could still talk to them after they passed, how would you learn to accept finality? My advice would be to give as much comfort as possible to your friend. One of my favorite lines from the poem "Desiderata" is:

"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

This is beautiful!

Thank you Reanne! Lovely name BTW!
 

haleyw

Not to derail this thread but La Desiderata resurfaced in the late 1960s and became very popular as a wall poster:

http://www.sfheart.com/desiderata.html

***Back to Thread ***

As I have stated too many times on AT - "I am not a receiver; I am a transmitter." I lived in a house for many years that 'bothered' people and probably had a lot more spirit activity going on - but I was blissfully unaware of it. Whether I once knew about it and blocked it out, or just am not 'in tune' enough to pick up on it I do not know.

IMHO - I would say your friend 'closed herself down', and like Dumbo's feather the spiritualist merely facilitated her but did not 'close her down.' Although I know you can develop your psychic senses with time and effort, it might be that once you experience them and close them down that you lose them. Regaining them may be possible, but 'filtering' them may not.

I highly agree with the concept that just because you can see other passed family members that you may not 'see' the one member you really wish to get in contact with. The dead are not on 'Facebook of The Dead' - just look them up and get an instant contact. Who knows what the Dead think about being annoyed constantly by the Living?

I wish your friend peace.

I love the way you always add humour into these things. Thats a brilliant analogy! :)
 

canid

I don't understand how any human could 'shut down' someone else's abilities, whatever they be, but everyone here seems to take for granted that it can happen. Unless it's the ultimate creator that does it maybe. It has to be a belief that's in your friend's mind, that HER 'spiritual advisor' was able to do this & your friend let it happen because she wished strongly for it. So it was actually your friend's will that caused the disconnect; she just needed to be convinced by externals. She could get it back whenever she wills. And yes, guides do help. Has she tried that?
 

haleyw

I don't understand how any human could 'shut down' someone else's abilities, whatever they be, but everyone here seems to take for granted that it can happen. Unless it's the ultimate creator that does it maybe. It has to be a belief that's in your friend's mind, that HER 'spiritual advisor' was able to do this & your friend let it happen because she wished strongly for it. So it was actually your friend's will that caused the disconnect; she just needed to be convinced by externals. She could get it back whenever she wills. And yes, guides do help. Has she tried that?

No. What do you suggest?
 

canid

No. What do you suggest?

Dunno. Try to undo in her mind what she had hoped to accomplish? I don't think there's really a formula or pat answer for doing that. Meditation, while falling asleep or even awake try to contact a guide (if they do indeed exist); there are many methods pretty well-known. Truly, I don't know but I don't believe someone has the power to take away her abilities. It's going to be up to her how to retrieve them.