Empaths

New River

i would really like some feedback from other Empaths; those who know what others are feeling whether they tell you or not.

for instance, when do you hold back saying nothing? when do you say, 'well, you're saying that but i'm feeling this?'

sometimes when doing a reading i will feel an area of my body begin to heat up. recently it was my knees and i asked the querent if they had any knee pain. they were getting ready to have knee replacement surgery in a couple of weeks.

usually it is more emotional type feelings that come through. these are always more sensitive to deal with for me.

i welcome others experiences and opinions on this. thank you.

love, light and hope, New River
 

MeeWah

How I express the impressions varies according to the individual. Some people are more open to feedback regardless of whatever concern they may have in mind. Others are not & view it as an invasion of privacy--a contradiction if this is during a reading but whether it is during a reading or not there is a fine line between accessing information & being invasive (am not saying you are being invasive). Knowing when one can or cannot impart information is important.
If during a reading I am prompted to explain that I do not judge but act as a facillitator/counselor & the cards serve as a means to access information they already possess on a subconscious level, I know there is a sensitive area. I try to refer to the apparent aspect in general terms as something possibly in the area of relationships, a past experience, etc & see what kind of response follows, either verbally or non-verbally.
Otherwise, if I sense something that seems at odds with something the person is saying, I mention it in general terms if it seems appropriate to do so. I let the person know I am willing to listen if he wants to talk. If it doesn't seem appropriate, I just listen to what is unsaid, remain silent & say a prayer for the person.
During a beginning acquaintance with one woman (it was not during a reading though I subsequently read for her a number of times) she professed to have a good life, to love her husband dearly & that he was a good provider; however, I saw she was desperately unhappy & harbored a deep resentment, which was in direct contradiction to what she said! I knew she was not ready to admit to what was really happening & it was not my place to say anything. Eventually, she asked me for a reading--which indicated he had a history of philandering & she didn't trust him, etc.
Do not know this will be of help to you as I'm not sure I've explained my take properly.
 

truthsayer

New River (15 Oct, 2001 03:13):
i would really like some feedback from other Empaths; those who know what others are feeling whether they tell you or not.
for instance, when do you hold back saying nothing? when do you say, 'well, you're saying that but i'm feeling this?'
sometimes when doing a reading i will feel an area of my body begin to heat up. recently it was my knees and i asked the querent if they had any knee pain. they were getting ready to have knee replacement surgery in a couple of weeks.
usually it is more emotional type feelings that come through. these are always more sensitive to deal with.
love, light and hope, New River

some years back when my empathic abilities were really making me feel crazy, i found a wonderful book called,"are you really too sensitive?" by marcy calhoun. she calls empaths "ultrasensitives" and describes several different types an how how to deal w/ being ultrasensitive. she really helped me a whole lot. i think she has a website if you want to learn more about the book. if you can't find it, let me know. the book may be out of print.

another book that's more mundane is by elaine aaron. for some reason i think the title is very similar to calhoun's book but her word for sensitve ppl is something else.

if you are able to feel pain in your body that you don't think is yours, close eyes, relax and ask yourself if the pain is yours. if the pain isn't yours, ask that the pain be sent to the hands of our higher power, healed and sent back to it's owner. i don't know if this relieves the person's pain but it does help redirect the pain into a more positive flow w/ the universe. sometimes i get headaches that don't belong to me and that's what i do. you can do the same w/ emotions. just make certain that you ask for healing of the emotions before it goes back to the owner. seems to help me but you have to work at keeping an inner balance in order for it work.
 

truthsayer

okay here are some links you may find helpful. just by doing the search i found out loads that i didn't know about marcy calhoun. "are you really too sensitive is still in print". you can get it thru the ARE publishing(edgar cayce center or association for research and enlightenment), blue dolphin, and amazon. she also has 2 other books out: "are you too serious?" and "do you really have a choice?" one of the many websites for her is:
http://www.marcycalhoun.com

elaine aaron was a bit tougher to find. her book is self-published and marketed from the west coast. the name of her book is,"the highly sensitive person". she has 2 others but this is her main book. her website is located at: http://www.hsperson.com

i also found a great website for sensitive ppl that you might want to check out. the above books are listed there, too.
http://www.thomaseldridge.com

hope this helps!!!!!!
 

Kiama

Woah! You mean there's a name for this?! Finally I know. Well, I have it quite alot, but didn't know what to call myself. It's never really struck me as that strange, cuz I've always done it. It was also mostly for people I know really well, so I just assumed that I knew them TOO well!

I have had situations with friends though who are asking one thing about a certain guy, but already know the answer. I can feel that usually, and can pinpoint what they're really feeling at the time. If they're a close friend, I'll speak up, cuz they are okay with it. But, if they're not so close, I'll leave it, and try and work it into a reading.

However, most of the time, this occurs when I'm not reading, just talking with people. I, very rarely, have also felt the same physical pain as somebody else. My Mum for instance, and recently, my oldest little sister. Here's an interesting story for you: When my Granny was preggers with her first child, my Uncle David, she knew it was time to go upstairs and give birth, cuz my Grandad was rolling around the floor clutching his lower abdomen in pain! It happened for about three out of four of her births.... Ooh, strange....

Kiama
 

tiger lily

Most of the time I know whether someone is sad or angry etc., because *I* get sad and angry etc and I don´t always realize that these are not my own feelings. So I get called "moody" :(

I never learned how to deal with it; so when I´m around other people I just shut down. It is so exhausting that I rarely enjoy being with others. Crowds? Oow!

I only relax enough now when I´m with family members, and I can always feel how they are feeling - they don´t have to be physically around.

I don´t feel someone else´s pain, unless he mentions it - but then I feel it exactly in the same spot. Perhaps this is more "sympathy" than "empathy"?
 

jade

tigerlily (16 Oct, 2001 03:37):
It is so exhausting that I rarely enjoy being with others. Crowds? Oow!

i can't be in crowds. i went to an auction and all that energy flying around put me out of commision for a week. i could barely function.

i don't go anywhere that there are crowds. :)

jade
 

New River

thank you so much! this has all helped me immensely. i feel it is a huge responsibility to be empathetic. not only do we feel so much but on top of it we are sometimes misunderstood and considered moody. if people only knew!

truthsayer: i have seen this book, are you really too sensitive. don't know why i never bought it. thanks for the links and your research. very sweet of you. and reminding me to send the pain, emotion,etc. to the healing light before sending it back. sometimes i get so locked into the feelings that it's easy to forget to center and do this.

meewah: i usually deal with the situation in the way that feels best too. every one is different. i think you put it very well.

kiama: i've always done this too. it was very confusing as a child. plus, i could never understand why people never talked about these things i felt. because i thought they felt them too! it was only about 15 yrs. ago that my husband pointed out to me that everyone doesn't know and feel these things! and i'm 46. i had to look back over my whole life to see it differently.

jade: i am so glad we are talking about the stress of being in crowds! no one i know understands this except my hubby. it is literally torture for me sometimes. and when there is so much of it surrounding you it is exhausting to shut it out. it literally drains me.

i have an art show 2 days this weekend. it is great for the public to have 2 days instead of one, but i was so freaked about it! i knew i could handle one day but 2 days! yikes! they don't know what they are asking. since this is an obligation and not a choice, i always ask my guides for loads of help in doing this.

when i have a choice i avoid crowds. i shop during off times, sneak out of weddings, sit in the back of meetings, you name it. i have to know i can get out any time it's necessary.

and how to explain those long days it takes to recover after a particularly stressful crowd experience? any suggestions?

thank you all once again for your great feedback.

love, light and hope New River
 

Alleira

New River,
I am an empath. It's not the easiest thing to be. In fact, it just plain rots. But that's not what you asked- as I'm sure you know it does :) Anyway, when doing a reading I say hold back on nothing you are feeling. Anyone who's going to get mad at you for speaking during a reading, isn't going to appreciate a reading anyway. So if you feel otherwise, use it. This is using empathy as intuition. Afterall, that's what doing readings is about- using your intuition.

Empaths all manifest in their own ways. Some simply know the feelings. Some feel the feelings as their own. Some feel them physically like you do. I always use to feel the feelings of others. Then I developed a blocking technique. In fact, I have written articles about blocking techniques. Going in crowds is no longer a problem for me. Unless of course everyone is scared and upset. Like a few years ago when someone had commited suicide in the highschool that I attended. I didn't really know him, I didn't feel much toward him. But everyone was in so much pain that I could not bear to be there. So I actually left the school. A month later, another killed himself. Soon we all began to fear the intercom system. But we're talking about empathy. Now that I am able to block things, I KNOW what the feelings are. I know when I am being deceived- but I don't have to go through other people's emotions which is severely crippling. You don't stop being an empath- but you can learn to do something about it and with it.

I hope this helps New River.

Alleira
 

jade

alleria,

you forgot to finish your point.......how do you stop it? how do you block it out?

love and light,
jade
ps or do you have your articles on a website that we can read?