How to solve arguments with tarot


Hello all, here's a spread I created because I think it could be useful. Normally, when we fight, we're so focused on our own viewpoint that we forget to even try to understand where the other person might be coming from and how to reach the common ground. The full reading, again, is available here, as well as my take about is it ethical or not to pry someone else's thoughts with tarot.

Sample reading here:

How to solve arguments with tarot?

This exercise spread is for me and a relative. My relative is sure that certain conspiracy theories are true, whereas I think they are nonsense. Consequently, we end up arguing...

What is the real core of the issue (the bone to pick)? 2 SWORDS

Indecision and lack of clarity, but also two minds going to completely different directions. My truth simply is different to her truth. I guess I better acknowledge that neither of us has all of the facts nor absolute clarity.

How do I see this issue? ACE OF PENTACLES

I think it’s mainly about money and greed: these conspiracy theories (e.g. climate change is a hoax) are motivated by the need to earn more and more (big oil and gas businesses wanting to secure profit). It’s also about focusing only on the material world: if you can’t see, say, air pollutants, it doesn’t mean they don't exist.

How does the other person see this issue? 6 CUPS

She just wants to secure a happy, safe life to her and her family. She also wants to go back to the past to life of simply enjoying existence without having to worry about overpopulation, allocation of resources, climate change, environmental protection etc.

Why is it important to me to be right? 10 CUPS

I’d just like everyone to enjoy each other’s company and live in harmony, and forget all the rifts and worries.

Why is it important to the other person to be right? EMPEROR

This card talks about control and power, but also permanence and solidity in life: the bed rock of one’s life. It’s possible this person wants to expose the authority that is (in her view) wrongly exerted upon people (environmental taxes etc.), or, she would want to have a solid ground how to live, without having to worry how these evil forces of the world want to disrupt her lifestyle by imposing rules.

What is the ideal solution for me? 2 CUPS

To understand each other, see eye to eye, be able to connect, listen and be heard – and feel happy about the existence and company of each other. Yes, that would be ideal.

What is the ideal solution for the other person? 7 CUPS

I suspect she’d like me to see the world like she sees it: see the opportunities and threats that surround us, use my imagination more, accept that not everything is like the “mainstream media” wants to present it.

What is the middle ground? QUEEN OF SWORDS

Stick to the facts, don’t get emotional. Stay grounded and mature, don’t engage into fights, don’t attack, but cut through any BS with clarity and confidence.

What action should I take to reach the middle ground? 9 CUPS

I usually meet this relative in family parties and gettogethers, so focusing on having fun and appreciating the lovely food, drinks and company would work much better than engaging into petty bickering.

The likely outcome if I take the advice? 10 SWORDS

The topic and the thoughts and worries associated to it will just die out, there is no energy and interest left to keep waving these swords at each other. It can't get worse than this, so we might just move on.


I had an argument with someone very recently. It is exactely the spread i need. The timing is perfect! Thank you Saskia for sharing it :).


I think this is a great spread. Thank you for sharing it :)


Thank you for your thanks, Esk and Disa!


Fantastic spread Saskia, this will come in handy. Many thanks!


Unique and useful spread.


This post couldn't have come at a more useful time. I'm currently feuding with a friend, so I'd love to see how this works to salvage our friendship :). I might even put it up in Your Readings if I need help with it.


This is a really useful thread Saskia, thanks for sharing :heart:


Thanks everyone, I'm really happy to hear it seems useful and I hope it works well for you!