Introducing the Inner Beloved

Cerulean

I checked out your site, rather light-filled and tasteful.

Thanks for the information and explanations. If the New Life and Lovers Path Tarot don't suit you, it almost seems like aspects of the Alchemical Tarot by Robert Place is related to your themes of Divine Union, as well...

When I say light-filled, I don't mean lightweight. The concepts are well-presented and actually the themes touch on deep aspects, but also give hopeful aspects that are nicely illuminated.

In contrast, I compared to a book and website that I examined this weekend in a book called the Shadow Tarot, where the author/artist took a mythical approach to her writing and meditative interactions with her partner and grounded...her artwork is more primal and collage-painting oriented. Just a different take, more for those who like shadow depths to study (they would for example might prefer to take moral lessons from Dante's Inferno and Purgatory rather than focusing on the journey as a loving parable of a pilgrim going on to Paradiso).

Thanks for sharing! I'm glad I had time today to check out the topics you raised.

Regards,

Cerulean
 

Sophie-David

firemaiden said:
Thanks for posting this, Sophie-David, to me it is totally fascinating. I'm not sure I completely understand exactly, but I'm interested. I was intrigued that she talks. Is this voice a voiced voice or a silent voice -- I mean-- is it "out loud' or -- communicating by thoughts?

The two women remind me a bit of my conversations in meditation with HP and Empress.
The voices are almost always in expressed in thoughts, and any associated visions are almost always internal. I had hoped that there was a rule that if I saw an external vision or heard an external voice it was archetypal, or in other words, an expression of the divine (this distinction is subject to ones personal theology of course). While this is almost always the case, it is not invariably so, particularly powerful personal images would project externally at times. Since the union the internal entities do not need so be so desparate to make themselves heard or seen, and Sophie in particular realizes that I would find it quite disconcerting to see or hear her externally.

It was almost a month after the union, and I had just formed this theory about external visions and voices the night before. Capricorns like rules, Aquarian Moons do not. The next morning Sophie broke the rule. This is part of an email I sent to my mentor at the time, and it illustrates what would more typically be a dream or internal dialogue:

***
In thinking about this yesterday evening, I pondered that I hadn't seen Sophie, except for the initial union. There was no regret in this, I would say that if I were to see her in external visions as I have seen the divine, it would put her out of balance, giving her the power of the goddess.

But there seems to be a surprise every day. Shortly after waking, I could see a little image of Sophie, attached to the left column of a book. She was very much alive and happy, dressed in a long red gown, her hair in permed curls to her shoulders, her features like mine, but with feminine softness, aged in her mid-twenties. She had placed a black silk blindfold over her eyes, and she was singing expressively, moving her arms with the music.

"Ah, you want me to sing with my eyes closed." She nodded.

Then she expansively pointed to the right, towards the empty page of the book. "You want me to write, and to see. You are dressed in a formal gown for a public recital, and you want my writing to be public too." She nodded happily as she removed the blindfold.

"A game of charades. Why didn't you just tell me?"

Sophie: "This is more powerful to you, you will remember this."

"And a lot more fun for you, too, I notice."

As I went to have a shower, "What will we write?"

Sophie: "We'll discuss it in the shower, you do good work there."

"Great, more things to try to remember and write down later".

As I write this down now, Sophie wants me to notice what a fine dress it was, empire waisted, just the right colour to set off her skin tone, just enough upper chest exposed to be womanly without feeling uncomfortable. "But you have straight hair". Sophie: "Nothing a little creativity can't fix - we have to look our best!"

A quick reflection on the Sophie-in-a-book. Interesting how her creativity found a non-threatening way around the rule I had defined the previous evening (not that I was consciously defining a rule), about her making herself visible. As if to say, "how can you feel threatened by, or want to worship an image that is Barbie doll sized? - you can at least allow me that..."

***

This cute little story was actually quite significant. It was Sophie's way to stress the three arts that are central to my creativity: singing, writing, and as I discovered later, photography, the art of seeing. And in the shower that morning I realized that I needed to develop a new Web site, and we started to work out the details.
 

Sophie-David

Cerulean said:
When I say light-filled, I don't mean lightweight. The concepts are well-presented and actually the themes touch on deep aspects, but also give hopeful aspects that are nicely illuminated...

Thanks for sharing! I'm glad I had time today to check out the topics you raised.
I do appreciate you checking out these Tarot sources for me and I will explore them in the near future. Thank you for visiting the site. I take "light-filled" as a high compliment. For me the personally the photography is often more significant than the words.

Cheers
David
 

WolfSpirit

Sophie-David said:
I actually read the set of three His Dark Materials before the union. Pullman presents what I later realized is the Inner Beloved as a physical animal companion or daemon to each of his characters, the animal always being in the opposite gender to the character. My voice teacher, now also my mentor and friend, suggested that I might enjoy reading them. If there was a seed planted, this was it.

I haven't read the complete series...still have to finish it. I loved the idea of people having an animal companion that always stayed with them and they could not be separated from. The animal was also visible to others and could help them - so not really an inner beloved. As an animal lover, I would love to have one that could never leave me :)
 

Sophie-David

Dæmons and the Althiometer

Hi WolfSpirit

I found those books very powerful. I think that perhaps we do enter into soul connections with our pets, too.

But in Will's world, our world, the dæmon actually was inside him, an inner twin of the psyche. The dæmon also had the function of showing its human partner who to trust and love. And in erotic encounters, the dæmons touched each other, soul connected to soul.

At http://www.philip-pullman.com/about_the_writing.asp
Philip Pullman says, "that they, the readers, feel as if they've got a dæmon themselves. And my point is that they have, that we all have. It's an aspect of our personality that we often overlook, but it's there" and "I don't want to say anything about them which will give away some of the plot of the final book, but I will say that the dæmon is that part of you that helps you grow towards wisdom."

Since I read these books before the union, I was a bit squeamish about the word "dæmon" at first, but I got over it by the end of the first chapter. :)

And the althiometer is such a perfect illustration of Tarot - I often think of it when I'm reading for myself - each symbol or picture has layers and layers of meaning. The analytical readers had to consult books upon books to clumsily decipher a reading, but the intuitive Lyra could naturally draw the meaning forth into consciousness. I remember thinking at the time, wouldn't it be wonderful if the althiometer were real. I didn't realize that the althiometer already exists in our world, in the shape of fancy playing cards with eccentric pictures on them. :)

The althiometer is a "deck" with 35 archetypes, detailed here: http://www.randomhouse.com/features/pullman/alethiometer/index.html
I'm sure there used to be a beautiful big picture of the althiometer at either this site or the Pullman site which I linked above, but I can't seem to find it now.

I live in a small village where even the tourists are greeted with waves or smiles when we see them on the street. About five weeks after the union I was staying in Victoria, British Columbia's provincial capital, attending a meeting conducted by Coast Guard, my employer, and wrote this Dark Materials related observation:

"People are so strange here aren't they, city people, unlike those pleasant reflections I see in Ucluelet, their faces are as blank as zombies. It reminds me of those people in the Philip Pullman book whose souls have been eaten by the shadows. Its only once you go inside a building, a safe house like the Coast Guard base, that you can see people with their zombie masks off. Well, I grew up in Vancouver so I know all about it, but after twenty odd years you forget what it used to be like."
 

WolfSpirit

And the althiometer is such a perfect illustration of Tarot - I often think of it when I'm reading for myself - each symbol or picture has layers and layers of meaning. The analytical readers had to consult books upon books to clumsily decipher a reading, but the intuitive Lyra could naturally draw the meaning forth into consciousness. I remember thinking at the time, wouldn't it be wonderful if the althiometer were real. I didn't realize that the althiometer already exists in our world, in the shape of fancy playing cards with eccentric pictures on them.

Yes, I quoted a part of the text about the alethiometer on the front page of my tarot journal, because it was just so fitting for tarot as well.

I think it takes a little getting used to the word dæmon, which is something very different from a demon. But now I like it. It makes me think of an old language where words had different meanings than they have now.
 

PurpleGoddess

Thought and Spirit Provoking

Hi Sophie-David,

I'm a psychology freak and now I've got something to did into during Christmas recess from work. I don't know when the next time I'll be online...don't have internet right now. So I'm posting just before leaving for the Holiday.

I'm in the midst of detaching myself from my mothers psychic and emotional cords to me. Something I've been working on just before Thanksgiving...there's a thread I started about Healing through Forgiveness and also Am I Selfish that tells some of my story. This thread is amazing...I've often thought that in different situations me or anyone can have an alternative personality or entity be in charge! And right in time because I need to know who all of me are in order to go down the path of healing I want to.

I've taken down the websites you suggetsted and will probably go to the library to take out some of the books as well. I've printed this out because I find it fascinating that you've gone through this. Did you have help of a psychotherapist or hypnotherapist? I'm going to call someone over the Holiday because I can't remember my dreams. I hear music waking up and sometimes I see faces but not of people I already know. I'm interested in finding out the other aspects of myself and why I'm drawn to tarot and the arts but can't seem to remember anything. I guess like you were before the Sacred Marriage, my two brains are still separated, not together on the same wavelength so to speak.

Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. And well to AT. With your courage and sharing those of us on a similar journey will have the courage to forge ahead and share with others. Plus we know where to go when we lose our way.

Peace and Light
PurpleGoddess
QoC
 

Sophie-David

Hi PurpleGoddess

I will check out your threads later, but I wanted to reply while I have time on my lunch break and before you lose your Internet connection. I did not have the help of a certified counselor for this part of the journey, i.e. from the sacred marriage on. I did however have a lot of after-care from my mentor who had taken quite a bit of psychology on her way to a Masters in English Literature - she actually switched programs along the way. She is also a very mature and centred person who had just gone through the sacred marriage herself, but in a much more gradual way - which I think is probably more typical for women.

Note that I did have counseling help about ten years ago to deal with shadow issues, especially including issues with my mother. I think it is essential to have counseling to deal with internal shadows before entering into the sacred marriage within, otherwise you may be making things a lot worse - I shudder to think what it would have been like to meet an internalization of my negative mother as my Beloved, if that were possible. And for many people, my wife included, the sacred marriage within is not appropriate, the psychic stresses and risks involved are too great.

So I would strongly encourage you to talk to a psychotherapist who has some background in this area. I did in fact talk to my original counselor shortly after the experience of the sacred marriage within and she was confident that I would be able to handle it, but that is not the case for everyone.

As far as dealing with life in during the process, art has been my lifeline to sanity.

Sorry if I'm coming on a bit strong here, and you've probably thought of these things already, but I don't want to take any chances: this really can be dangerous stuff.

If you check my web site at the links page, [link removed by moderator]
I have listed the online resources which were most helpful to me.

Thank you for your encouragement and have a good holiday!
 

Sophie-David

WolfSpirit said:
Big picture of the alethiometer:
http://www.bridgetothestars.net/images/alethiometer.jpg

You can see it in detail if you make the picture bigger than screensize and scroll down and to the right :)

Thank you so much for the link, WolfSpirit, what a beautiful picture! I think the fan site's owner must have downloaded this before it was removed from the official site.