Sick of agnosticism, Judaic and Druidic studies

feynrir

I have no good idea about how to use this section of the forum, but I'd love to take a leap of faith and put myself out there. :)

I find it very hard to believe in anything at all, and I have long identified as an agnostic. But recently, I've come to the conclusion that I believe in much more than just being "uncertain." I believe in seeking a direction through which to focus myself. I really long to study with others and find a sense of community along a spiritual path. I've found a secular worldview to be much too cerebral for me, and I feel I can find something outside of it that will give me direction and fulfillment.

I was raised in a rather strict, practicing Roman Catholic household and have found time and time again that Christianity is not the right path for me. I have also studied and practiced Buddhism to some degree, but that hasn't stuck for certain reasons as well.

Recently I have been in touch with a local Druidic group, and I have been studying about Celtic Druidism. More recently I have been studying Judaism, and I am honestly REALLY surprised with how much it is resonating with me. So I'll see how these understandings develop...

Basically I am seeking out a spiritual community and a spiritual understanding of myself. Anyone who wants to talk about their own struggles, past agnosticism, current spiritual or related cultural practice...please! :) Respond if you feel inclined at all. Thank you!
 

PathWalker

Just an encouragement to keep seeking. I read a lot about as many different faiths as I could when I started my journey - I thought I knew I were I was headed but wanted to see more of the landscape before I set out - is that a fair analogy?

Enjoy your journeying
Pathwalker
 

jillkite

Feynrir, I feel to say this:

Follow your heart, towards whatever calls you. And it's totally ok to do one thing for a while and then switch to something else. All true paths are pointing to the same place anyway, and variety is the spice of life :)

Sometimes the energetic quality of the teacher is more important than the particular spiritual philosophy that they are teaching from. You may receive an energetic transmission from the teacher which is not something you comprehend with your mind in any case.

And as time has gone on I think I've appreciated more and more that it's all about the Middle Way, it's not about going to extremes, it's about trying to live in balance at all levels.

It's also totally ok to have a spirituality that you don't identify with any one path, that draws on many, and you can just regard yourself as a generally 'Spiritual' person. it's really not as wishy washy as it sounds! ;)

Wishing you all the best in your continuing discoveries.
 

Padma

It's also totally ok to have a spirituality that you don't identify with any one path, that draws on many, and you can just regard yourself as a generally 'Spiritual' person. it's really not as wishy washy as it sounds! ;)

This is my situation - I never found any one predetermined path to be the right one for me, so I just wander down my own lane, at my own speed :) and that is ok, too! Jillkite, thanks for saying it so neatly!
 

jillkite

My pleasure :) :) :)
 

jillkite

Oh, and about this:

I was raised in a rather strict, practicing Roman Catholic household and have found time and time again that Christianity is not the right path for me.

With this sometimes it's tempting to throw the baby out with the bathwater... I did for a while. What I mean is, having also been raised Christian, and having distanced myself from that, I had no time for any of it.

For a while I was very open to Hinduism. I happened to read a series of lectures given every Christmas by a Hindu Swami (Swami Shivananda) about the Teachings of Jesus (Hindu's are very happy to include Jesus in their pantheon of God's and Godesses, they include Buddha too).

Reading those lectures I realised, wow, when you go back to what were reported to be the actual teachings of Jesus, there are some real gems in there.

So sometimes I will tell people that, although I am not Christian, I really appreciate some of the Teachings of Jesus, and in the same breath I will tell them that I love the some of the teachings of Buddha too :)

And I love aspects of plenty of other spiritual paths as well... :)
 

Starri Knytes

We have been searching since the dawn of time. Trying to makes sense of life, too find meaning.

Some find meaning in one place, others see meaning everywhere.

A spiritual mash-up has been shown to me, so I have to believe that that's alright too.

There is a segment here that helps to explain the Kabbalah, Tarot connection, and might give a little insight into the familiarity you feel.

http://www.sacred-texts.com/eso/sta/sta29.htm
 

danieljuk

(((feynrir))))
spirituality is a very personal thing and I have noticed my path in it has entirely changed every 5 years or so! We should experiment with everything and some things we may hate or get tired of. I think also we have to watch that we are not influenced by the religion our family put on us during our childhood, either positive or negative experiences, we have to make up our path!

When I first joined AT I had actually become agnostic, well more of a humanist really, I didn't really have any belief. Tarot and divination has give me spirituality again. It's okay to move into different areas and beliefs and change our spiritual beliefs! Think of it as experimental and accept that you might feel very differently in future, I have actually gone back to the Pagan beliefs of my teen years now, I have gone through 4 different areas between then and now. Explore and experiment but keep open minded! It's okay to be agnostic if it works for you!
 

feynrir

Thank you so much, EVERYONE!

Hi! :love:

Oh wow, I wasn't sure if anyone would respond to something so personal, but here I am, seeing all of this encouragement and support! Thank you SO much!! I couldn't say it enough!

Yeah I'm definitely in that searching phase currently...it's exciting. I think that agnosticism "not working for me" simply means that, not following any spiritual path because I don't know what I believe just feels directionless. I am so happy to have been reading, researching, and meditating on what various ideas and ideologies mean to me. It's invigorating and really makes me feel like I can find something "out there," and understand myself and the world on a deeper level. Moreso, I feel like a number of different kinds of congregations could potentially encourage me to be a better person and to make more of my own life. It's humbling and empowering at the same time.

Christianity has not turned me off completely--I find so much beauty in Jesus's teachings. As a young girl, I was pretty devoutly Catholic. But falling out of faith with my birth religion was very natural and I certainly don't think I can go back. Many things in Christianity just don't feel right to me at this point. But it will always hold a special place in my heart; it's part of who I am today.

I feel like an open book and having encouragement here, and hearing about others' very unique/multifaceted journeys makes me feel not so alone :) Thank you.
 

Starri Knytes

(((feynrir)))