tarot and evil?

aeonx

Hello everybody.
I have a serious problem I hope some of you can help me solve.
Every time I dedicate my spare time to 'alternative' stuff (tarot, occultisme etc), I end up having horrible nightmares. I gave this a lot of thought the last time it happend, in the beginning of the year, and I have tracked this symptom back many years. I found out that every time I started getting into 'alternative', I began having bad dreams. These dreams are not about a specific topic, it could be all from loosing my teeth to running from the devil. In addition, some times (during these periods) I wake up in the middle of the night, not remembering any specific dream, and being so terrified that I can barely move. Last time I had to go up to my mum, but froze in the stair, just from fright. I don't know really why I am so scared, what it is. I would like to know. I have had nightmares all my life, but not so often and so seriously terrifying as during my 'alternative' periods. I have even considered going to a shrink with this problem...
I am 21 years old, and normally I am not afraid of much. All my friends and my family knows me as being tougher than many other, not being afraid of saying what I mean and protest to unjust. I am both scared and comforted by the dark, more afraid of rapists rather than supernatural monsters. I am social, active, creative and love life!
So why is this happening to me?
I picked up the tarot again yesterday, and this afternoon, during a short nap, I had a bad nightmare again.
I think of tarot as something positive, and has never connected it to bad energies or forces at all. I do not deal with evil/dark forces at all.
If anybody has any questions, feel free to e-mail me.
Thanks for listening.

~aeonx~
 

MeeWah

Aeonx: It is difficult to connect your sleep disturbances with anything in particular, not knowing the nature of your nightmares, your circumstances, your past, etc--let alone connect it with Tarot per se. You mention "occultism"--what do you mean by that?
If you've had nightmares all your life, then it's likely not Tarot that is triggering the nightmares, but something else--such as possibly an experience or repressed memory from early childhood; or even a far past memory.
Dreams are a means of communication from the subconscious. The unconsious is very efficient in its choice of symbolisms in order to communicate. Usually, if certain other factors can be eliminated--such as some sort of stress or illness, a nightmare is like one's unconscious' impatience perhaps after dreams that failed to get a message across. In that sense, nightmares are distorted dreams; a means of getting one's attention using symbols or events calculated for same. Or as the expression here goes: the most bang for the buck.
It would not hurt & most likely be beneficial for you to seek counselling on the matter. If nothing else, being reassured that you are not crazy & determining the possible source(s) for your experiences.
If you do not already do so, practising grounding & centering of the self prior to meditating, working with any form of divination or sleeping would be helpful. You may be very sensitive, & various stimuli detected by the sleeping consciousness may get interwoven.
 

dolphingirl

Hi

You may want to start keeping a dream journal and write dreams down as soon as you wake as well as how they make you feel and any problems in your life. Do this for a few weeks and see if there is any any patterns develop also sometimes just putting you fears down on paper can kind of put things in perspective.
 

Kiama

Well, this is interesting... It could be that you are suffering what is commonly known as Sleep Paralysis. This is where you wake up in the middle of the night, terrified, sometimes with the feeling that there is something else with you in the room, or an inherently evil presence, and you cannot move. It's caused by the fact that your brain has woken up quicker than your body... If you suffer it again, try moving fingers and toes, or moving your eyes back into your head and forwards again, most people find this helps them snap out of it.

I also agree with Meewah that it could be something do do with repression. Maybe you were raised in early life to think that things like the Tarot are 'bad' in some way? Maybe you saw something on television that scared the life out of you? You probably won't remember though, cuz that's why the memoriy is 'repressed'. It's gone so far back int the mind that it's hard to retrieve.

I doubt there is any real evil force linked to your Tarot cards or anything else alternative. The only worry is, that you could start fearing themcuz of what they cause... If they really do cause it in the first place.

Kiama
 

Aeon

aeonx,
Hi, a quick question, do you know you're dreaming while you're having these nightmares? Are you aware "in" your dream. If you are, you can control it, if not you can learn to lucid dream. The first step is awareness of being in the dream. I learned to lucid dream by setting the alarm clock about an hour before the time I have to get up and hitting snooze, it puts me in a not quite awake yet still dreaming state. I know I'm dreaming and in that state you can learn to control your dream surroundings and confront your fears.
Hope that helps.

Aeon
 

aeonx

Thanx to all for replying!
MeeWah: I thought many times that it could be a repressed memory from the past, and I'm considering going to a clairvoyant in relation to this. Maybe this person is able to see something I can't or won't see. *s*

dolphingirl: I don't really have to keep a dream journal, because I can always remember my dreams if I want to. The problem is that I don't want to remember them during my nightmare-periods, it's just too exhausting! Thanx. *s*

Kiama: I have experienced Sleep Paralysis once. It was about the most terrifying event in my life. I was paralysed for at least half an hour, but managed to snap out of it after consentrating real bad! But when I wake in the middle of the night, I am able to move if I want. I'm not "stuck" like you get in Sleep Paralysis. *s*

Aeon: a good suggestion... althought it's not only one fear in my dreams, they can be about all and nothing. The main thing is that I'm always frightened to death, both in and after dreaming. *s*

Thank you all, again, for replying. *s*
I wish you all good dreams!