What&#39s going on in this guy&#39s head??

[january]

Oh, relationship spreads!!! My cousin is confused about his feelings for this girl with whom he has been previously romantically involved. They haven't seen each other in nearly a year, but has recently had to work with her (long distance) which brought back some feelings - but he's not sure! Oy vey! So I suggested I do a spread to determine how he feels about her and maybe through seeing what's going on in him, he can better approach the situation. Does this make sense? "How does HE really feel about SHE?" was the question.

I used the spiral deck in a Celtic Cross:

1. The Lovers - heart of the matter
2. 2 of Swords - this crosses
3. Ace of Wands - below, subconscious
4. The Emperor - receding, past
5. King of Wands - above, what he's thinking, consciousness
6. Princess of Wands - near future, incoming influence
7. The Hierophant - him in this situation
8. Queen of Wands - her, his atmosphere
9. The Star - hopes, fears, unknown
10. 5 of Pentacles Reversed. - probalble outcome

Right away, I saw from the Lovers crossed with the two of swords, the hesitation to proceed. The Heirophant I see as perhaps he's viewing this outwardly as a platonic relationship or is being too stoic with his emotions? But look at all the wands! (neither are fire signs, btw.). Its the family court cards that are confusing me!

Thanks in advance for any ideas!

~ january

 

[MeeWah]

1. The Lovers: The previous relationship is very much an issue! Apparently it was not resolved so the recent contact with each other resurrects past memories, awakens the old feelings.
2. 2-Swords: Uncertainty with what, if anything, is being presented is causing the indecision as to how to proceed. He may be trying to be logical about it; such as preferring to make an intelligent decision so as not to make a mistake & get hurt--again. He is a bit mystified by his reaction to her, as he may have convinced himself that he was "over it". Since this is an emotional situation, it is defying his efforts to reason with the self. He is also lacking confidence in his ability to make the right decision.
3. Ace-Wands: There was a strong attraction to her before & at this time, he is still attracted to her, still interested. He did not get over "losing" her & misses the relationship; hence the keen interest now. He is also ready to think about settling down with a significant other.
4. The Emperor: It seems he is accustomed to being in charge/control of his life. Or perhaps he likes to think that he is. May have a tendency to focus on the practical aspects of things, including being logical about relationships. This is not a bad approach; however, a romantic relationship is not a business deal where every detail is going to follow a plan or contractual agreement (although that depends upon the individuals & their expectations, etc).
There are emotions involved which can lead to unpredictable developments in a relationship, as one is not dealing with facts & figures which can be categorized into neat compartments. Perhaps he is realizing he may have made a mistake in how he conducted himself in the past & is willing to revamp his view, his approach, so on.
5. King-Wands: A part of him is interested, even eager to cultivate a relationship again. He needs to have more confidence in himself & what he is capable of offering. In his way, he is successful & would be "a catch".
6. Princess-Wands: There will be opportunity to follow through on the interest. Or make an opportunity! Ask her out for a friendly get-together, rather than a date. He should be able to come up with something neutral & appealing.
It is possible that both parties may have been immature &/or ignorant in their past dealings with each other which contributed to difficulties. There seems to have been a lack of communication between them; however, there was always a physical attraction or connection between them.
7. The Hierophant: It is difficult for him to free himself from his innate conservative nature. He has a conventional concept of things such as courtship, where the guy pursues the girl & if all goes well, they can live happily ever after. She may have been a wee too independent to fall in with his wishes. For all his apparent traditionalism where he wants to conduct a relationship within certain parameters, he realizes that this approach does not always work.
8. Queen-Wands: Possibly of all the women he has encountered, this one is the one whom he sees as his equal; who has interested him the most. She may have like views & temperament, share similar aspirations; also a mind of her own, which, he also admired. Sometimes being too much alike can create difficulties as well, especially if both can be equally stubborn. That trait may have contributed to their going separate ways.
9. The Star: Anything is possible, & there is a distinct possibility here. What brought them together before may work again.
10. 5-Pentacles, reversed: He should swallow his pride & whatever reservations he has & go for it. He may need to move carefully, slowly--she might be wary as well, so have patience. Remember: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Faint heart ne'er won fair maiden. So: what is he waiting for?!

 

[destinyawaitsme]

When I read this post I got a totally different feelign of the whole thing. It could be totally wrong, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to give my opinion too.

In this reading, I get a tone of choices. The choice to be with her is more like a struggle with temptation sort of thing. Like he thinks he wants it, but he doesn't know if he needs it. With the Two of Swords it seems to me that he's not really looking at the options honestly. Maybe instead of making a clear cut decision he is trying to see what is going to fall into this lap. (If you look at that card in the RWS, the woman pictured seems to be saying..."well, I'm just going to sit here until someone convinces me to put down my swords.") So he's strattling the fence so to speak.

Was this a rough relationship? Or maybe unsettled? Witht he Ace of Wands in that position, I get the feeling that maybe it ended and he just put it away and now that he has contact with her it has opened up this big ol can of worms. And he feels like it is going to take a lot of courage...either to start a relationship, or turn her down. The Emperor clearly states that without her his life had structure and order. This is why i think there might have been a messy ending because being single it seems as if things were more calm. THe King of Wands is in the position that I like to call the "higher power" position...in other words...if there was a little angel sitting in the sky watching your life what would she tell you? Obviously he is a great "catch," charismatic, bold, inspiring. In the near future position I am concerned about the card being a page. Since he is a King wouldn't the page card indicate that maybe she is immature? It's jsut a thought. But regardless, it seems he needs to overcome his fears...Love her or Leave her.

When I see the Heirophant I think conformity. Is there some reason he would change for her? Was he a different person when he was with her? The Queen of Wands can be taken many ways...sure, she's the sexy, charasmatic, and daring pretty woman...but she can also be a bitch. I think he just wants to heal more than anything else.

To me it seemed like the opportuunity for love was there if he was willing to take it. BUT he should be forwarned that a lot of the time the reasons for parting don't magically go away. In fact a lot of times they pop back up, and unless these issues are resolved you might as well put that last nail in the coffin. I take that the fire signs mean that these two have a lot in common...this can be great for a relationship, but this can also be the factor that ruins the whole thing. My advice is that he looks at this whole situation realistically...not too pessimistic though. He should just take that blindfold off and figure out why they were apart. And if it's for a stupid reason, go for it. But remember if you keep picking at the scab, it won't ever heal.

(Sorry for all the metaphors and analogies its a bad habit)

 

[sif]

Not to create an argument here, but I definitely agree with Meewah (Fantastic reading, by the way!). There seems to be an extremely positive direction to the cards, especially in the reversed five of pentacles (good communication, mutual need for one another etc). While neither of the two are fire signs, the fire signs indicate lots of passion and "meetings of the mind" that only they together have the right chemistry to create and share. Also--to be cliched, it struck me as being the fire of love. The King and Queen of Wands sound awfully good together.

The Princess of Wands also strikes me as enthusiasm. The opportunity is there for them to be new to each other, i.e. be innocent to each other in a first-date sort of way, despite their history. Not to sound vulgar, but it seems that sex between them might be very good. I would suggest that your cousin break free of his hesitation and his facade of mere friendship (as the Hierophant) and make a move. As destinyawaitsme cautions, he would have to address those past unresolved issues sooner or later, and that may be difficult (again, from the Princess of Wands) but the difficulty probably lies in how he brings up the issues, rather than the actual discussion.

Good luck to you and your cousin.

 

[Alta]

I am with sif and MeeWah. Strikes me as a lot of pent-up passion (and I do mean sexual longing) here, but the guy is being held back. He is a bit frozen in place by the previous experience with her and by his own innate conservatism.

 

[january]

What&#39 going on in this guy&#39 head??

Wow! These are excellent interpretations! I didn't even say too much about the situation and you've got so much of it to a T! The cards do speak, don't they?

This is a very "Harry and Sally" situation with (I feel) a lot of unfinished business. They never "dated" per se, but its a very mental, philosphical relationship and at times was physically passionate. They are spiritual and intellectual equals and can have vivid, thought-provocting conversations. And a lot of sexual tension, I think.

He's a Libra and very open-minded, intellectual, social, charismatic, charming, creative (who wouldn't fall for him?!) but very conservative with his emotions. Sometimes when you hug him, there's no feeling there. But deep down, he's VERY sensitive. He's been quite successful the past couple of years and it went to his head, running around with this girl and that girl and she was there like a rock. I think she was eventually turned off by this, healed to some degree and realized he made her feel like she was one of many and nothing special. But since he's content with himself now I think he's almost ready to start thinking about settling down (King of Wands). He's in a sort-of relationship now, but this girl keeps coming back into play; it seems to me the game isn't over yet! I was surprised that the Wheel of Fortune didn't show up.

MeeWah - excellent job! The Queen of Wands: This girl has become very independent, travelling, going to school, starting her own business. My cousin said "she used to be such a scared little rabbit!!" I don't think he knows how to approach her and/or/if he fits in. The only way he feels he can have contact with her is through asking her to do work for him, thus the door opens and they connect again. Well, this last round she didn't fall for it! So he backed off. He just can't bring himself to the point where he can say "Hey, let's get together for dinner, coffee, etc." He'd risk being revealed? Yes, they've both been immature and stubborn about this in the past. And re: the Emperor, I think he is re-visiting how he (poorly, but not intentionally) conducted himself in the past.

DestinyAwaitsMe - How true! Old issues don't magically go away and there is something here that keeps drawing him back. I guess the flame on the Ace of Wands is slow to die. I don't think this girl is immature so much as starting a new life for herself (Princess of Wands) and is a call for him to look at this situation from a fresh perspective, and forgiving - but not altogether forgetting past hurts. I know he's hurt her in the past, but didn't mean to. He's the one who has to persue this if it means enough to him becausue, quite frankly, if I were her, I wouldn't call him. (Sorry, cousin!) And yes, the Q of Wands can be a bitch, and I think that's how she was acting as of late to conceal her own emotions? (that damn can of worms opened again, UGH!!) I love your metaphors BTW...

Sif - yes, the King & Queen would be good together.... if they can get past the past. You were right-on with the meeting of the minds.

I feel the Star reiterates this and is a sign of healing past hurts and rebuilding. And whether he decides this is going to be a friendship or romantic relationship, they do have to approach it slowly and build trust. They live on separate coasts now but I don't think that would be an issue for either of them, in fact, it can help the relationship build slowly, as it should. And because of his Libran charm I think he could get her to move anywhere, IF he approaches it correctly. All of this pent-up fire energy and passion has to come to a head at some point. Take the blindfold off, boy!

A big hug for all of you! You guys are great!

~ january