Wtf happened/ is going on?


so i did a reading to figure out whats going on between me and this guy:

so at the beginning he was interested in me .. really heavy flirting and we were connecting, then less and less and then he's gone cold. then friendly.. the cold.. and there were a few events that could've been the spring board for us but other things came up. opportunities where we could connect further hasn't been taken because of the people around us. but even with that are brief moments where you know theres a 'zing' between the two of us...

i don't know wtf is going on. every spread and reading says that there is potential for us in the future.. and that he does see me in a cups sort of way, 6 of cups doesn't come up for how he thinks of me which i take as good because to me thats the card of platonic friendship.

but i'm so so so frustrated because every time i try to do a reading or use any spread that may be relevant to figure out what the hell is going on the cards won't be clear.

so i don't know whether i did something or if theres something about me that turned him off, if it's work or friendship, another girl? if this is just how its got to be for a while before it gets better down the line or if its just how things are, and this is the end and its for the best and i should continue on with my life.

it's like theres a huge fog over this


so stone_lotus recommended the hard truth spread and i did it and it's... interesting but i just don't know how to put it together. for each position i drew two cards simply because i'm at that stage where i'm like 'you better be bloody clear cause i'm just at the end of my tether.. this will be clear!'

so for:

1. What you want to see/believe = 9 of swords/king of wands

i guess that can be me hoping that this will lead to something down the line. like whats happening now is just a blip in time, and a rough patch but something will happen... or maybe the 9 of swords is me hoping that he's as bothered about this as i am but i doubtful of that.

2. What you don't want to see/believe = 10 of wands/the emperor

i don't know how to take this as.. work? or he's just not game or romance or getting to know me?

3. What is true = the magician/ace of swords

.. i don't get whats going on with that ace of swords cause we're currently not talking but maybe he's doing something at work? magician is skills

4. What you want to happen = 3 of swords/9 of pentacles

yes i would like the success between us like the 9 of pentacles but 3 of swords? i do not want that!

5. What you don't want to happen = page of wands/3 of cups

i'm taking this as just friendship.. i think if we just end staying friends it's be such a waste of potential

6. What will happen = 2 of pentacles/8 of pentacles/4 of wands

i'm guessing it will just be friendship? disappointing but still harsh truths and all

advice card = ace of cups/the tower/the sun

see i don't know how to take that advice!

with the ace of cups = i've tried contacting him but in the end it became so much of me contacting him first that i felt like i wasn't being true to myself and like i was just cheapening myself to him. making myself too too toooooo available. everyone like reciprocation and i just hated ace of cup-ing all the time.. so i can't think of any other interpretation of that card as advice..

then the tower then sun? like the advice is to move on? or that it'll get better?

i don't now... i think i broke it down relatively well with it as individual parts but i'm having some trouble putting it all together into a cohesive picture..

any help will be appreciated and second opinions (i guess i still wanna hold on to that hope till i really have to just let go)

thank you for taking the time to read and reply!


Allow me....I have some experience with these card combinations.

1. What you want to see/believe = 9 of swords/king of wands

Your subconscious is going to town on you. It's trying to get you to see disaster and terrible things where there aren't any. The nine of swords is the anxiety card and King Of Wands is the sexy guy who doesn't commit and pursues everything he finds appealing. Since you don't understand the combination this is a subconscious pattern that's playing out, out of fear.

2. What you don't want to see/believe = 10 of wands/the emperor

You're having a real hard time seeing this guy as stable, responsible and in it for the long haul. The 10 of wands can be responsibility of partnership, in short being there and the emperor is the man that rules your life, significant other. That's why you got that first combo, pointing to wanting to see him as a flash in the pan disaster that won't end well.

3. What is true = the magician/ace of swords

The magician is you, putting a spanner in the works with your thoughts and fears, as represented by the Ace. You're so powerful with this that you're actually affecting the outcome in physical reality. Hence his disappearance.

4. What you want to happen = 3 of swords/9 of pentacles

Again this is subconscious as you consciously state the opposite. But there's a fear buried deep in there that is pushing the ctl-alt-del button on you constantly. Three of swords, is an unhappy ending and the nine of pentacles is the singleton card. You're scared of actually being partnered with him.

5. What you don't want to happen = page of wands/3 of cups

Is follow the inspiration to light that fire and come to the party. Both of these cards are bit incendiary, once you do that. There will be no stopping where it goes. The three of cups is a card of coming together, finally bringing the cups to the table for whatever reason. So yes, you are running as fast as you can. You are also fearing another young female being the third party in the relationship.

6. What will happen = 2 of pentacles/8 of pentacles/4 of wands

It's already in process, and you will be together. The next level (4 wands) is happening and this is probably why your subconscious is doing double time on you stirring up all manner of anxiety and telling you it's all over.

advice card = ace of cups/the tower/the sun

It will happen (Ace Of Cups) but you need to stop with the disaster thinking {Tower} and believe (Sun). every time you do that, you stall the progress and then give yourself something to worry about.

Don't contact him, stop and sort your own stuff out. Before you do that you will get the constant push/pull and stalling that you are getting now. It's okay he can wait and he will wait (Emperor is a sign he's not going anywhere). But there is something going on with you that both wants and fears this very much. And that is the real problem, not him.


1. What you want to see/believe = 9 of swords/king of wands

You want to believe that your anxious and negative thoughts are not founded in reality, that you are the exclusive recipient of his flirty and fiery ways.

2. What you don't want to see/believe = 10 of wands/the emperor

You don't want to believe that you don't matter to him, that you're not weighing heavy on his mind. You don't want to believe that you'll always end up being the one going to him instead of the other way around. The Emperor, though fiery and active, to me, just looks like he's sitting there on his throne. He doesn't need to go to anyone. They go to him. I get a similar feel about the King of Wands...

3. What is true = the magician/ace of swords

What's true is that when you did see him, things seemed open and communicative between you two...that there was no b.s. or any kind of illusions, that based on your interactions, you could create something together. But, though the Magician can create, sitting next to the Ace, I see it more of a creation of thought. In other words, the 'connection' or relationship belongs to the realm of the mind.

4. What you want to happen = 3 of swords/9 of pentacles

To be clear, honest and open about your feelings and thoughts...where you stand, where he stands, so that you can feel good in your own skin because right now, it feels unsettling.

5. What you don't want to happen = page of wands/3 of cups

You don't want to be a fling to this person or a passing fancy. You don't want to be like any other woman to him.

6. What will happen = 2 of pentacles/8 of pentacles/4 of wands

Looks like he's juggling many things, could be another person, as well, though with the 8 of Pentacles, I see he's probably working a lot, juggling many responsibilities to establish a secure and stable foundation in his life. OR...he makes it a point to get to know you better, spend time with you, dedicate time to you, etc., which creates overall good and positive feelings from which to build...

given what you said below about you always reaching out to him or calling him first or making yourself available...I'm going to go with my first take.

advice card = ace of cups/the tower/the sun

Ace of Cups says to value yourself, that no matter what happens, who you are - lovely, beautiful & awesome - is not tied in with whether he wants you or not. The Tower perhaps wants you to see what is there and not what you hope to see in this situation. Actions speak louder than words and if his actions are not backing up his words, your answer is right there about what's going on. You have to be willing to see it and not take it personally. After the Tower crumbles, the Sun shines on all that is true and all that was false. Maybe you need to see that his hot and cold behaviour is NOT okay with you. I'm of the belief that when a man is truly into a woman, he will make it clear to her what his intentions are. I say, don't reach out to him anymore. If there's something there, he will find you. He knows where you are.

All the best to you and hope this helps.


Cool that you tried out the spread! I’ll have a crack at it. : )

1. What you want to see/believe = 9 of swords/king of wands

The 9 of Swords indicates that you have a kind of fatalistic attitude—almost like you WANT there to be trouble/difficulty here. The King of Wands is a tricky guy to pin down, and everyone wants a piece of him (or so you believe) – he’s popular with the ladies, frankly, and there’s a lot of (perceived?) competition for his attention. Maybe your subconscious is trying to make you give up, or trying to make the situation FORCE you to give up, so that you don’t risk failing or being disappointed. Note that 9 of Swords is about being SELF-tormented by thoughts. I think this is all in your own head. (Gah, and I have definitely been there!)

2. What you don't want to see/believe = 10 of wands/the emperor

When I see 10 of Wands, I automatically shout “PUT DOWN THE STICKS”. It’s so much easier to just ditch that burden that’s no longer serving you. Let’s say the burden is your belief that any chance between you and this guy is doomed. In that case, perhaps you don’t want to see that if you release that belief – which DOES keep you safe, in a way, from potential rejection – a solid, real, physical reality with this guy awaits you. This could be something relatively small, such as a proper date – but it’s there, it’s waiting. And that can be scary.

3. What is true = the magician/ace of swords

The truth is, you are the Magician and you are extraordinarily powerful in creating your own reality. Your thoughts create your reality and so far they’ve been creating something unpleasant. Ace of Swords indicates a fresh start: You can radically change your thinking/beliefs and thereby radically change your outer circumstances. This is a great combination to get!

4. What you want to happen = 3 of swords/9 of pentacles

I think this is similar to the 9 of Swords above, in that your mind/beliefs are encouraging things to happen that you don’t REALLY want. Here, you want the guy, you want to explore where it’ll go, but things are getting messed up cuz there’s this very strong belief (probably an old shield/defense mechanism you may have been carrying since childhood) that says “No, what I REALLY want [deserve?], is a broken heart (3 of Swords), is to be alone and independent and not need anybody (9 of Pents)”.

5. What you don't want to happen = page of wands/3 of cups

Hm. I could read this two ways. One, you don’t want to take a risk, to appear young and inexperienced like the page and open yourself up to the emotional rawness indicated by the cups. Or two, you don’t want to have the relationship with this guy be a young, immature thing (such as a fling), or a friends-only thing. There’s a lot of negativity, a lot of focus on what you would NOT like. This is fine of course because it’s important to be clear on what you won’t stand for, but you also need to focus on what you desire!

6. What will happen = 2 of pentacles/8 of pentacles/4 of wands

You will learn how to balance your negative, limiting beliefs with your positive, powerful, optimistic beliefs. This will require a lot of hard work that you are absolutely ready for and enthusiastic to engage in. 4 of Wands is excellent here – a card of celebration and also initial foundations. It mirrors the Emperor earlier, who is the 4th Major Arcana card. The future will be solid, structured, and joyful -- and it will be because of YOUR effort, not because of external circumstances. Remember your power as the Magician.

Advice card = ace of cups/the tower/the sun

Ace of Cups here refers to you, not him. Make yourself available to YOURSELF. Shower YOURSELF with attention and love. You’ve been beating yourself up about this situation… Stop! <3 Remind yourself that you deserve love – you do not need to automatically jump to the 3 of Swords scenario. The Tower probably means blasting away all your limiting belief systems, your feelings of doom, failure, and if you have feeling of unworthiness, those too. This is hella exciting. : ) You seriously have the potential to completely shed all the negative shit that’s been dragging you down and it’s going to feel so amazing, you will emerge in the Sun, which is clarity – you’ll see things as they truly are, you will completely overcome the self-torment evidenced earlier with the 9 of Swords. Sun is also relaxation, pleasure, fun, ease. You have so much to look forward to.

Good luck sugar! Everything points to the extraordinary power you hold right now to change your way of thinking and literally transform your physical reality into something solid and with firm foundations. As this begins to happen internally, your energy will shine outward and your guy will come to you, he will want in on this. : ) The initial attraction between you two is there – don’t forget this! Focus on those positive feelings and they will start reflecting in the external world – the 4s that appear here virtually promise this.


First of all thank you!

thank you so much swordoftruth, flames, and stone_lotus for all your help and all the time you three all went into to helping me interpret this.

i wish it resulted in myself have more clarity about the situation but not really but what is definitely clear now is what i should do next which i think big picture wise is more important.

funny enough, im more lost now with the 4 interpretations because see, if swordoftruth is right about my subconscious going to town on me and making me see disaster and terrible things then flames your interpretation may be a reflection of that. but then with stone_lotus's interpretation being more on swordoftruths side and flames more on my original interpretation..

you can see how i'm still a bit puzzled. but whats clear is all 3 of you hit on some truths that i didn't want to face up really

swordoftruth -
i'm always a bit pessimistic, it's been a defensive mechanism taught to me by my parents... and this guy, yeah i can see him as a king of wands socially but career wise he's quite pentacles. the glimpses of pentacles i see in him is what drew me to him in the first place.. but the all the king of wandness in him.. i'm the type of girl that gets turned on by stability and monogamy. but at the same time i don't want to be tied down like a mother is tied to her child

background = my previous relationship ended a while ago and i was happy doing me and just dating myself especially cause i didn't meet any guys i was genuinely interested in after the break up until this guy. this one is the first one i saw real potential. same mental wavelengths and all that. so thats why i'm a bit more hung up. but in my previous relationship, it was great until i became his mother (thats the main star in the constellation of issues which is the reason i ended the previous relationship). and what i don't want is a guy i have to take care of. which is what drew me to this one too cause he can take care of himself.

i love my independence and at the end of the day my thoughts with romance and all that right now is just that.. if it's the right guy all the relationship bullshit is worth it imo, but if it's not the right guy, id rather be alone because id be happier that way.

so i don't want to be putting my eggs in this guys basket and him end up not being the right guy. so i'm frustrated that he's gone cold, friendly, withdrawing etc.. before i even get the chance to find out whats wrong with him (well him acting the way he is definitely is on the list atm) so you're interpretation of 3 of swords/9 pentacles is very very on point.

i am concerned that theres another young female as a third party.. i don't know why.. i've never been cheated on. but i think it stems from a reading i got on us just for funsies on a different forum and the reader just said 'respect yourself, theres another girl' and i'm paranoid cause i just simply don't want to be played as a fool. he said he's single and he doesn't know if there are any girls around him thats interested in him.

and yes i'm not contacting him. actually i've put forth a plan of repampering myself

i really really hope your interpretation does come true

flame -

your interpretation also really hit home.. i think swordoftruth spoke to my optimistic side and you're spoke to my.. i don't know if realistic or pessimistic side. you're right about him not going to anyone and that they go to him.. i don't like that in a person though. most things in life is give and take. i don't want to like someone keen on taking taking taking. and you're right, maybe everything was just in my head. sucks but if its the truth then what can i do.

with the 8 of pentacles for what will happen, currently he does have deadlines to make, end of the year and all and when it comes of me always reaching out to him or calling him first etc.. thats recently (again i could just be trying to cling on to hope with both hands and legs) but he does reply and doesn't half ass it when he does. but he use to initiate conversations and now he does so yeah could be another person!

stone_lotus -

i also hope your interpretation comes true

i don't think i want there to be trouble or difficulty though.. i don't like drama. and frankly i find competing with other girls a turn off. i've before been in a situation like that and i straight up told the girl 'have him. go ahead, you want him so much you take him' and walked off.

with deserving a broken heart and being alone and independent and not needing anybody (3 of swords/9 of pentacles).. i think that stems from being on my own and only having to take care of myself for the first time in a long long long time. i'm enjoying having that extra load off my back. and i'm excelling. so i think im almost shifting my mindset to 'i have to be alone to be successful' because i've not yet experienced a relationship where we're both pushing each other to our maximum potential. in the previous relationship, i was pushing him and myself.

with what i don't want is the immature, young fling or friends only relationship. just based on all the potential that we could have. i feel like he's almost tapping out before any real knowledge about each other can be learned, if you get what i mean? but you're right i do focus alot on what i don't stand for because i somehow got myself in a predicament where i was taken advantaged of in my last relationship and i've always followed the policy of 'burn me once shame on you but burn me twice its shame on me..' i don't want that shame on me.

i don't know how long it's going to take to blast that tower rubble away but hopefully it'll be smooth and clear!

swordoftruth, flames, stone_lotus

what i do love about all three interpretations is that the advice is all the same.

i don't want to do all the work wooing a guy. he wants me he can come get me.

and just thinking about all the interpretations and the situation and myself in the situation i realize that i don't like that i'm like this.

if he had a thing for me then changed his mind before taking the chance to get to know me and see the value in me then fine. i'm going to go and see the value in myself.

because .. i was just sitting there and thinking.. i'm here, in my feelings, wondering whats going on and he's out there living his life. wtf is wrong with me?!

like sure i'm still handling my business and it's not like he's affecting my work cause i'm actually pulling the marks better than i usually do (yay i just got 96% on my exam) but emotionally, if you know what i mean..

so i'm going to take time out from everything , once i'm on break next week, just socially (i just want to be by myself till like mid January right now lol) , romantically, work and just focus on me. read the books ive been meaning to read, get back in shape (exam stress weight omg), purge my living space, just open the windows to my life. it's going to be hard cause i'm still periodically slipping back to the old 'whats going on?' but i'm fighting it!!

i want to say thank you again so so much for all your help!

ill update if anything changes but it'll probably be in mid January when i get out of my cocoon haha but i will!

thank you again!