"X and me"...spread after a break-up confusion

[katarzyna]

Hi guys...so I guess this can't be termed a "break up" in a traditional sense of the word as we weren't technically together at this time, but we have been in the past, and after a several week hiatus, we reunited...only to have sporadic emotions end it again. This time I really accepted it, deleted his number off my phone, etc.

I'd like to get some guidance on this reading simply because it is one regarding a situation I have deep emotional attachment to, and therefore it'd be nice to have objective eyes look at it

Celtic Cross; Rider Waite.

Position 1 (what envelops me, starting point, current situation): Temperance. I'm not fighting his decision. I'm staying calm despite the heartbreak I'm feeling. I'm letting him go and do as he pleases.

Position 2 (what crosses me): The World. I tend to see this as my hopes for our relationship unrealized. I saw marriage, instant connection, partner in crime, loyalty. Hopes crumbling, disillusion, facing that these things won't materialize.

Position 3 (what crowns me, conscious knowledge): Knight of Swords. He left as soon as he came this time. Gave me hope, dashed out again.

Position 4 (foundation): 9 of Wands. I'm defensive and protecting my heart. Trying to accept the finale and ending, but also telling myself not to fall for it if he comes back again. Preparing for a fight.

Position 5 (past): 10 of Pentacles. Our past plans. Me helping him develop his business, our lives coming together. Hinting at marriage, family.

Position 6 (immediate future): 10 of Cups. This one confuses me. I really don't see how this can be the case. Even if he did come around again, I'm not about to let him in so soon. I told him not to make a decision he can't STICK to -- if he can't say goodbye for GOOD, then don't say it. So why is such a happy-family card depicting our immediate future? Individually, we're both heartbroken over this failure, so I don't think it can symbolize either one of our individual state of mind any time soon...

Position 7 (me): The Emperor. I guess trying to be stern and mean what I say, stand by it, as opposed to all the "fake" goodbyes we've said in the past? Perhaps focusing on my career as I plan on doing now that this relationship is over?

Position 8 (surroundings, environment, others): 3 of Swords. This is rather obvious...heartbreak, feeling wounded.

Position 9 (hopes and fears): 9 of Cups. In the back of my mind, I'm hoping he comes back, says what I want him to say, express that he made a mistake, that he can't be without me. But I always see 9 of cups as a little ill-dignified, maybe wanting selfishly as I am, or wanting something despite knowing it isn't the best thing.

Position 10 (final outcome): Queen of Wands. Ahh, I never know what to think when I see Queens as relationship outcomes. I personally see it as me developing into this Queen, but ultimately, without him...focusing on other parts of my life, socializing. Any ideas?

Thank you guys!
K

 

[Frannie]

I agree with most of your interpretation of this reading (I would have read it very much like you did) however I'll try to add a little of my 2 cents.

Position 3 (what crowns me, conscious knowledge): Knight of Swords.

I think that you always knew (concious level) that he wasn't going to stay.

Position 4 (foundation): 9 of Wands.

I believe this shows you are taking the situation very well considering how hard breakups can be (supported by Temperance card). You were hurt but you are standing and you are in a healing processs. Your stand is defensive as the consecuence of been hurt, but you are being strong and handling it right.

Position 6 (immediate future): 10 of Cups.

I see this as you both healing and coming into terms with each other. Maybe right now you don't see that as a possible thing but the cards show that you are handling this well and that there will come an instance were there will be forgiveness and moving on (10s signal the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new one).

Position 9 (hopes and fears): 9 of Cups.

I think you hope to be satisfied with your love life in the future, I don't really see it being Ill dignified or meaning something else.

Position 10 (final outcome): Queen of Wands.

The Queen of Wands as an outcome shows you will be embodying her aspects. She is positive, energetic, full of activities of all kind (social, work, etc) and she is very attractive to men so I picture you just enjoying being on your own and that you would have healed just fine.



Best wishes for you.

 

[katarzyna]

Thank you Frannie

 

[Sulis]

Moderator note

Hi katarzyna,

Please take a look at the Your Readings posting rules: HERE.

Could you please leave some proper feedback? This is a long reading and Frannie has put a lot of effort in. Her reading deserves more than a 'thanks'.
Feedback means going back through each answer to say how it relates to the cards and the situation.

Sulis - Your Readings co-moderator

 

[katarzyna]

Sure Sulis, sorry I didn't make myself familiar with feedback procedure, and I really did appreciate the insight I received. Further feedback in progress..

 

[katarzyna]

I think that you always knew (concious level) that he wasn't going to stay.

I certainly feared it, and questioned him about it, so yes, you're right.

I believe this shows you are taking the situation very well considering how hard breakups can be (supported by Temperance card). You were hurt but you are standing and you are in a healing processs. Your stand is defensive as the consecuence of been hurt, but you are being strong and handling it right.

Thank you, yes, I agree. I kind of just kept any hurt and tears to myself, and have been telling myself "hey, life goes on!" and focusing on other things. I'm recognizing that him no longer wanting to be with me is not an indication of him being a "bad" guy, and I'm just letting him soar, if that's what he needs. I've been tempted to contact him, but did not give in, which is also very Temperance.

I see this as you both healing and coming into terms with each other. Maybe right now you don't see that as a possible thing but the cards show that you are handling this well and that there will come an instance were there will be forgiveness and moving on (10s signal the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new one).

Yes, you're right. I go back and forth between resenting him and understanding him -- but ultimately I have a feeling of peace and love for him, despite everything. This also gives me new insight into how to read the 10s, so thank you for that -- I always looked at 10 of Cups and 10 of Pents as lasting relationships and stability, but now I see it can simply mean the culmination of everything and ultimately the last phase of our time together.

The Queen of Wands as an outcome shows you will be embodying her aspects. She is positive, energetic, full of activities of all kind (social, work, etc) and she is very attractive to men so I picture you just enjoying being on your own and that you would have healed just fine.

Thanks, I do hope the card represents me...What came to mind lately is that she is the woman he will ultimately be with, but I think that's just the side of me that's still attached and thus fearful talking...Ultimately, it's none of my business anyway, I can only worry about my life and should wish him well.