Difficult sitters?

There may have been a thread on something similar to this...and if there is, I apologize that I was too lazy to look for it.

Last night, at teh end of my tarot meeting group, we had a chance to practice readings. I ended up doing three of them with the Deviant Moon.

(I have yet to receive a reading, but I digress)

Anywho...this one sitter kind of hovered and asked for a reading. I gave him one and even when I went through each of the four cards and explained my interpretation of them, he refused to get it. He kept saying, "But these cards [he gestures to the three cards in a row--first one 8 of Swords reversed, last two upright aces of Pents and Swords, respectively] say yes but when you add in this card [the base card, which was Strength reversed], it means no."

I shook my head and repeated my interpretation; I actually got a rather positive inference from the cards.

Again, the sitter said, "You're not getting it. If I do this [he repeats his question], then this will occur. So the cards are telling me no."

I shake my head again and repeat my interpretation. Again. Politely. And I go through each card and the card combos that stood out to me, adn explained why they did so, and what it meant--again.

THe querent once again says, "But if you look at these cards [points to the three cards in a row again], they mean yes. And then this card [points to STrength rx again] makes it no."

I say, "Sir, I'm not doing a yes/no spread and even if I was, these cards would not indicate a yes or a no. I am doing a situation/advice/outcome interpretation, and the base card indicates the hidden influences that you may not know about with regard to your question. But if you are getting that these cards are telling you 'no', then perhaps you should go with that."

(hey...I don't know what his spirit guides may have been telling him. *shrug* Although he did seem to have a lot of...um...mentally spiritual activity, if you catch my drift)

He simply shook his head, expressed regret that I didn't give him a clear answer, thanked me, and left.

*sigh*

After he left, some people who were watching the reading (it was an open area), the woman I'd read for previously said, "something was off about him. I got a weird vibe." I did too, but I didn't want to say anything. This dude's energy was way scattered.

What do you do when a sitter just refuses to accept your interpretation? What can you do? You can't force them to accept what you say, even though they pay you to do just that (this was a free reading as part of the group--maybe that's why he was so resistant?).

Oh well...this gives me experience for when I start reading in the store in a couple of weeks.

Just a brief vent. Thx for letting me share.

T.

Some people want to hear ONLY what they want to hear. In a case like that, maybe it is best to politely say that: this is how I interpreted the cards; however, I am only human and may have it wrong. The cards are only a guide, anyway, so if they and what I have said have given you something to think about, that is a good outcome for the reading, as well...because the cards can't tell you what you should or shouldn't do, anyway...they can only empower you to make your own choices...yada...yada...yada...

I'm too stubborn ever to back down on what I see )), but I'm not so precious that I think what I see is always right. It's not worth that much energy to argue with someone like that, anyway.

ETA:

p.s. You're gonna be great!

From what I read you handled it perfectly!

Difficult sitters are always going to "test" you. Whether you don't tell them what they want to hear, or whether they don't like your interpretations or whatever. Don't let them make you nuts. I think how you handled this gentleman was fine.

Baroli is correct, along with the others!

Lady AS/T, you were to nice, in my book. But professionalism is important I guess...

If this person wanted to read for themself they should just do it & not bother someone else to do it. Sigh!

That's the rough thing when reading for those who read by the book.

My advice...go with your gut, with some simple foundations of the cards so they won't think you are conning them. When you read with your intuition, not ink and paper sometimes we have to battle those little books & their all consuming deep meanings! (GAGGING HERE!)

ARRRRGGG, Matey! Go home setter, your mother is calling you!

Barbara

So, was he a member of your Tarot group? Or just someone who came along?

I think you did fine. You read the way you read, no matter what someone else thinks the cards mean. It's your interpretation that matters. I'm sure you'll get other difficult sitters, but I'll bet they'll be few and far between. You're a good reader. Just keep saying what the cards are telling you.

Um er ah yeah I agree with all of the above.

But what's this crap about the base card (AKA shadow card - the card on the bottom of the deck).

I mean WTF??? It's not part of the spread (or one would pull it out and slap it down...ooops now we have a new base card we pull that out and...Bartholomew and the 78 base cards all over again.

The Base/Shadow card, if used – is NOT PART OF THE SPREAD! Teachers who teach that it is should have their shins kicked.

Since it’s not part of the spread – it is NEVER shown to the sitter.

You know why???

Cuz it makes idiots argue with you.

I wish they’d never ever teach that crap. Base card….sheesh…you mean lead in to a good argument card. Or a ‘Gee I’m not confused enough card’…or a… If I lived on Mars card.

No Afrosaxon, I’m not picking on you, I’m picking on the folks who overuse what essentially has zip all to do with a reading - but often serves as a 'trick' for the reader.

If you're gonna read pro - you never ever ever show or mention the base/shadow card. Ever.

Asante sana

Difficult sitters can make reading so hard and put so much pressure on you.
I feel that those difficult sitters can be rather skeptic and i feel that they try and block things out which causes you not to be able to pick much up for them.
I like people to be open and willing to receive that way the reading turns out good x

*rubs Umbrae on the back*

there, there, Umbrae...breathe...

I was taught about the base/shadow card, but there was no mention to regularly include it in spreads. That's my personal preference to include it in certain spreads, and it's worked for me thus far (weird sitter dude notwithstanding).

But I do respect your esteemed opinion regarding it.

*hugs*

T.

Umbrae said:

Um er ah yeah I agree with all of the above.

But what's this crap about the base card (AKA shadow card - the card on the bottom of the deck).

I mean WTF??? It's not part of the spread (or one would pull it out and slap it down...ooops now we have a new base card we pull that out and...Bartholomew and the 78 base cards all over again.

The Base/Shadow card, if used – is NOT PART OF THE SPREAD! Teachers who teach that it is should have their shins kicked.

Since it’s not part of the spread – it is NEVER shown to the sitter.

You know why???

Cuz it makes idiots argue with you.

I wish they’d never ever teach that crap. Base card….sheesh…you mean lead in to a good argument card. Or a ‘Gee I’m not confused enough card’…or a… If I lived on Mars card.

No Afrosaxon, I’m not picking on you, I’m picking on the folks who overuse what essentially has zip all to do with a reading - but often serves as a 'trick' for the reader.

If you're gonna read pro - you never ever ever show or mention the base/shadow card. Ever.

Asante sana

Click to expand...

Usually I can steer difficult querants to at least listening to something I am saying...but then... 98% of the time they are NOT tarot readers themselves!

To have a reader tell ME what my reading is saying would be pretty damn annoying.

But then I would probably just smile, and ask THEM what it means...hand them the cards and let them do their own reading for themselves.

Sounds like that's what he wanted to do anyway.
Or to show you how smart he was about the tarot....

I think when you start doing the pro readings you will be absolutely fine!