the question - again

I have asked friend of mine to read for me next week. I have two questions. They are yes/no questions, and I really should know better, but they are what I want to know:

Will I marry x? Will we have children together?

Maybe someone could help me rephrase them?

You want to avoid yes/no questions here (and you knew if I saw this thread I would say this )

I'd go more general: what lies in the future for my relationship with x ? and then if you must, will there be children ? Though I might go more for will it give us both what we most want or will I become a parent. Otherwise you might get the cards picking up on - say - infertility and saying no, but then you could adopt - or go IVF or something.... but "will I have children with x" might suggest it has to be by the - er - usual route

Perhaps ask about the personality type of future husband and number of offspring likely to happen.

That way you can compare the two.

Nothing is set, until it's set.
Keep an open mind , dont force things .
Closed minds are courting shocks.

Thank you both. I gathered yes/no questions weren't any good. That's why I opened this thread in the first place.

I will probably go with this (RPT, I already know the man I'm asking about): What lies in the future for my relationship with x?

I think I'll drop the question re children and ask: What will give us both what we most want? What I want most is for the both of us to be happy. Ever after and all that.

Good luck. Children are a bonus (to those who want them) but the relationship is the most important thing. A good one can surmount pretty much anything.

BrightEye said:

Will I marry x? Will we have children together?

Maybe someone could help me rephrase them?

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A "Yes" answer to the first question won't tell you whether or not you'll spend thirty-five years being systematically beaten up knifed or burnt once the relationship degenerates, just that you'll be married.

A "yes" answer to the second one won't tell you if your children will be born with horrible abnormalities (like my neice) which has them screaming in agony 24 hours a day until they die piteously a few weeks later, it will just tell you that you'll have children.

Those two examples are NOT a reading for you: they are merely examples of what true "yes"-answers can lead to.

Now, is there anything ELSE you would like to know about any future relationships and children, or are you still only interested in the yeses or nos?

nisaba said:

Now, is there anything ELSE you would like to know about any future relationships and children, or are you still only interested in the yeses or nos?

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I think I answered that in my second post above.

<smile> Sorry, I answered the post as I saw it before reading the rest of the thread. I still stand by my reply, as from memory you said something like "I really should know better, but this is still all I want to know".

This is why I don't really like yes-no questions, actually: they don't give you the information you really need. And if there is other information you really need, then the question - or the positions in the spread - should be designed to bring that into the light of day.

nisaba said:

This is why I don't really like yes-no questions, actually: they don't give you the information you really need. And if there is other information you really need, then the question - or the positions in the spread - should be designed to bring that into the light of day.

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I also prefer to avoid yes/no questions because they won't provide guidance as to what actions you need to take, what you need to focus on, what you need to avoid, etc. in order to realize a positive outcome or avoid a negative one. Querents who ask yes/no questions often assume that the answer is written in stone, destined to happen as part of an unalterable future. If the answer to "Will I marry X?" is "Yes," they may assume that they can just lounge in their living room all day, every day, and eventually their prince (or princess) charming will beat down their door and carry them off to wedded bliss, with no effort necessary on their part.

In my opinion, tarot works best as a tool for guidance and advice. For yes/no questions, you might as well flip a coin, and the answer won't be nearly as useful as what the tarot is capable of providing.

Alan

BrightEye said:

I have asked friend of mine to read for me next week. I have two questions. They are yes/no questions, and I really should know better, but they are what I want to know:

Will I marry x? Will we have children together?

Maybe someone could help me rephrase them?

Click to expand...

I tend to rephrase yes/no question as something like

"What can you tell BrightEye now aobut if she will marry X?"

OR What does BrightEye need to know about if she will marry X?"

Alternately, if it is something you truly hope will happen, you could ask

"What advice can you give BrightEye that will most help improve her chances of marrying X one day?"

or

"What steps can BrightEye take now that will most help improve her chances of marrying X one day?"

Then you need to take those steps if that is the future you want and it should really improve the chances of it happening. Of course the other person has their own free will too. But we can always improve our chances and remove anything we are doing that is turning the other off of the idea.

Same with the second question. for the first two...What can you tell BrightEye..., or what does BrightEye need to know about....

But when it comes to the children part I would certainly not go so far as to ask what steps you can take to have children with X if you get married. When that time comes, that is something you will have to decide together. But you can of course always ask if you are already heading in that direction now.

Babs