how to deal with 'challenging' clients

this past weekend i gave readings at a fair for the first time. i was a bit nervous, but overall things went well.

one particular client was skeptical immediately. she wouldn't give me an area of focus, i.e. career, love life, family, etc. nothing. instead, she said something to the effect of 'i have a few things i'm thinking about and i want to just pull cards to see what comes up' and she said it in a way of challenging my 'psychic powers' with a peculiar look. also, at one point, she criticized me because i wasn't doing a spread of several cards. since these were 15 min. readings whereby people usually have a few issues they would like insight on, i was reading a few cards per question. i explained that this is how i read. i'm not a big fan of the celtic cross. she was even a bit rude a couple of times.

now, i've been on the other side as a sitter and have been a bit skeptical of people that i didn't feel were that accurate, so i can understand the skepticism. however, without explaining details about what i'd like insight on, i've always given an area of focus. this woman was expecting me to be a mind reader. yes, i use my clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience--or try to--but i'm not a fortune teller nor do i know every little thought in your head!

what i've also noticed is that most people were desperate for specific answers to their liking. one woman wanted to know 'how to get him back'. it was situation where she went on ONE date with the guy and he didn't call her. she recently had a major loss, so is obviously in need of feeling comforted from anybody. the cards came up with the message of needing to work on herself and be more confident--3 pent & q. wands. but, she really wasn't hearing it. and, she went to another in the room and was told the same thing.

it was just interesting to be on the other side of the fence.

how do you all handle sensitive situations?

This situation doesn't even have to be with paying clients, could be anyone we read for that we don't know. I am not sure what gets into people. Do they want a reading or not?

starlite said:

what i've also noticed is that most people were desperate for specific answers to their liking.

Click to expand...

There are and have been people on this forum like that, no matter how negative the reading, they will sure to be back with yet another question on exactly the same guy. They are deaf to negative answers as they cannot accept the fact that the guy just doesn't want to know.

willowfox said:

There are and have been people on this forum like that, no matter how negative the reading, they will sure to be back with yet another question on exactly the same guy. They are deaf to negative answers as they cannot accept the fact that the guy just doesn't want to know.

Click to expand...

tis true. i'm no stranger myself to ruminating over the same issue. but, i must say that there are plenty of times that i just don't agree with the reader's interpretation and formulate my own (to myself), where my own proves to be the accurate interpretation. BUT, i don't make snide remarks or are disrespectful to the reader. i listen, and criticize quietly within. there was much to learn for me this past weekend. this person came in already critical without even knowing who she'd get a reading with.

Just be confident. Playing with you, is like playing with fate for some clients. I have one that has paid me probably in the more than thousand dollar range for readings over the years, and she constantly fights me on my readings, but she always comes back.

"You were right.." she says.

I smile.

I give her a fresh reading...

"No that's just not how it seems, it won't go that way... and your readings are usually so on point..." she says.

I don't say anything... I let her go on her merry way. I refuse to tell her what she wants to hear. And she always comes back. The day she doesn't, I will know that perhaps something finally got through.

In the mean time, if she wants to keep paying me for insight she isn't going to apply to her life- well then, I'll happily accomodate her. It's her choice what she does with the info I give her. She's basically just paying me for my time. And you just can't argue with those who challenge you. If you behave honorably and with integrity, they'll probably come back.

For your client, I would have whipped out nisaba's Even-Armed Cross. The first card is usually indicative of the "focus" and you can just go from there.

Amanda_04 said:

Just be confident. Playing with you, is like playing with fate for some clients. I have one that has paid me probably in the more than thousand dollar range for readings over the years, and she constantly fights me on my readings, but she always comes back.

"You were right.." she says.

I smile.

I give her a fresh reading...

"No that's just not how it seems, it won't go that way... and your readings are usually so on point..." she says.

I don't say anything... I let her go on her merry way. I refuse to tell her what she wants to hear. And she always comes back. The day she doesn't, I will know that perhaps something finally got through.

In the mean time, if she wants to keep paying me for insight she isn't going to apply to her life- well then, I'll happily accomodate her. It's her choice what she does with the info I give her. She's basically just paying me for my time. And you just can't argue with those who challenge you. If you behave honorably and with integrity, they'll probably come back.

For your client, I would have whipped out nisaba's Even-Armed Cross. The first card is usually indicative of the "focus" and you can just go from there.

Click to expand...

thanks amanda. well, i'm a newbie, so as i go, i'll harness my own style. i've already thought of how i could do things differently, based on this one day of readings. i agree, you just need to remain steadfast. there are a million readers out there, and people just need to find one that resonates with them--like choosing a friend...or therapist. and since i have a psychology background and trained as a counselor, i don't give definites or timeframes. i emphasize the power of choice and 'possibilities'. but, when people get a 'psychic' reading, they want THE answer.

and, for me, my spiritual development is for fun and growth, not a career. so, that allows me to really put my foot down.

You know, sometimes, I think that sitters who act like that are reader wannabes who know a little something about the cards, but maybe not enough to understand everyone has his own way of reading and you are just doing your own thing. Trying to discredit you somehow elevates her own image of herself or her skills in her eyes. Maybe, too (and this is a large possibility), she knows what she wants to hear and scoffs at anything that doesn't conform to it, even if what you are telling her is spot on. These are the types of sitters who merely want a yes-man (not a reading.) Another possibility is that she is so afraid of hearing the truth, that she creates a protective shield around herself by challenging everything you are saying...but it is really sinking in and she is really hearing it, no matter what she says to the contrary.

Also, maybe you have said something that truly doesn't resonate or fit, as we can all get it wrong sometimes. If the sitter has paid for the reading and it seems way off to her, I could understand her being miffed and calling the reader on it.

I would handle something like that by telling the sitter that all I am doing is reading the cards that the Universe put in front of me on her behalf and that I was sorry if that wasn't what she wanted to hear; but honestly, if she could point out where I were way off--and I truly could not see that in the cards--I would probably refund her money with apologies.

she actually said that the reading made sense to her, however, she wouldn't elaborate. i didn't go into this day blind either. i suspected there would be one or more people not completely satisfied. you just can't please everyone.

on the plus side, there were a couple of people who said 'yes, exactly' or 'right on'. so i'm not a complete idiot.

I've been reading professionally for a few years and, quite honestly, I'm surprised at how few challenging clients I've had. You will, of course, develop your own style but, in case it might be helpful, this is what I do:

I explain right at the start that tarot can't foretell the future. It offers insight into opportunities and the roads we might travel, but ultimately the choice is ours.

I ask whether the client has a particular area of her life that she wants to focus on, or whether she would like a general reading. The vast majority go for a general reading. In my experience, tarot is pretty good at picking up on what is important at present. If the client has a particular question, I say 'that will probably come out in the reading but, if not, we can always draw an extra card at the end to answer it'.

I explain that, because a reading is based on where you're standing now, I believe that it can cover no more than the next three to six months, so we are looking at just one stage of the journey.

I use the base card (the card on the bottom of the deck after the client has cut) to give the theme of the reading.

For a fifteen minute reading I use the spread 1. where the universe wants to take you. 2. what you need to do to get there. 3. where you're likely to find yourself if you follow tarot's advice.

For a half hour general reading I use my 'road map' spread:
You are going on a journey into the future:
Card 1 tells you where you are starting from (the current situation).
Card 2 tells you the direction you should take.
Card 3 tells you what you will need on the journey (this may be something tangible such as money or, more likely, an attribute such as hope, courage or perseverance).
Card 4 tells you the sort of obstacles you may have to overcome.
Card 5 suggests who you should ask directions or advice from.
Card 6 tells you whose directions or advice you should ignore.
Card 7 reveals what you may find when you get there (the outcome).

For a full hour general reading I use three cards in each of the following positions:
1. Things in the past that are still relevant to you
2. Things in the past that are no longer relevant for you
3. Things that are significant in the present
4. What you need to do to make the most of your potential
5. Obstacles that may need to be overcome
6. The likely outcome

I derived both of these spreads myself because I don't like the Celtic Cross. Try out various spreads . . . be inventive. Then stick to the ones you like.

If you're struggling over the meaning of a card and the client's shaking her head, come back to it later . . . it may make more sense once you've seen what the other cards are saying. Never be afraid to draw an extra card for clarification.

thanks netzach! i agree with your philosophy. my idea for more private readings is to do a little intro like you do to emphasize how this is NOT fortune telling and how they have the power, etc. i'm sure there will be trial and error as i go.