The cards dont lie -- givin someone a 'reality check' ouch!

Someone VERY close to me had been goin on and on and on about a man who she claimed really liked her.

She asked me to do a relationship reading

I didn't want to do it cos my gut knew it wouldn't be good

Lo and behold his cards for her were like the 8 of cups, 10 of swords and 5 of swords so obviously she had totally deluded herself about his interest.

I gave her a one sentence reading and didn't mention the cards so as not to hurt her feelings
'Basically he isn't the man for you so forget about him blah blah blah' but it didn't feel good.

I have been reading for a while now but it still trips me out when something like that happens.

The cards DO NOT LIE !!!!!

Anyway how do other people deal with givin bad news/reality checks?

People are human and have feelings - I'd hate to hurt anyone

I say, "Here's what these cards say."

I did a somewhat similar reading for a woman on her relationships. It basically said that she needed to learn to take care of herself and change some things about herself before she got into another relationship, otherwise she would just keep attracting/choosing more unhealthy men. Ouch. I've watched this woman go through quite a bit of pain in dealing with her past relationships, so while my reading might cause her a bit of pain, it's no where near what she's caused herself, and hopefully it may help her make better choices in the future.

I think of it as some foul-tasting medicine that might help the person in the long run.

lol Debra - There is no way I could've said 'here is what the cards say' in this instance cos it is a VERY close family member.



You are right bodhiseed and people usually know the truth deep down anyway some just like to live a fantasy world.
As soon as I told her 'he's not the man for you etc etc' she seemed 'magically' over it -- so I think she knew the interest was one sided.and was just hopin for a miracle.

Once i read the cards for another woman and told her it didn't look like the man in question wanted to have a relationship with her -he wanted it to go death card.
She immediately told me it wasn't right and he wanted things to change and transform -- i wasn't prepared to argue with her!

Sade said:

I didn't want to do it cos my gut knew it wouldn't be good

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In those kind of situations, I wouldn't do the reading at all. I'm not in the "cards never lie" camp, but rather feel like you can pick cards based on a bias, and if I'm feeling negative about something I'm probably going to pick negative cards regardless of the truth of a situation. I typically refuse to do pregnancy related spreads for this reason, my own history is too complicated for me to not be a bit pessimistic.

I was taught very early that even if the truth hurts, you should tell them what the cards are saying to you. At least they can look at things from a different vantage point, and even if they do not believe the cards, when "things" do happen they will remember that the cards did warn them, and it won't be a total surprise. Lately I have done many readings when my clients think or feel that someone is really interested in them, but the cards tell a different story. Out of the 10 or so this month, not one has come back to tell me the cards were wrong. Yes it is ackward, but sometimes you have to just tell them, you can phrase it to soften the blow, but not too much to change the meaning. It is such a wonderful feeling when a reading goes in a way that the client likes, but you can't dely them the opportunity to know the truth, to give them a "heads up", even if it hurts.

I really don't like to give readings to friends or family members, but I do. I always start off a reading with; "Only ask questions that you want answered, I will tell you what the cards are telling me, it may not be what you want to hear". I have had clients change their questions because of this.

Aset said:

In those kind of situations, I wouldn't do the reading at all. I'm not in the "cards never lie" camp, but rather feel like you can pick cards based on a bias, and if I'm feeling negative about something I'm probably going to pick negative cards regardless of the truth of a situation.

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I agree with this, for myself. I don't do readings where I feel I already know the answer because then why am I asking a bunch of bits of cardboard? I'd rather just say my opinion without any cards, or else keep quiet if I don't think it is appropriate to say anything.

PAMUYA said:

"Only ask questions that you want answered, I will tell you what the cards are telling me, it may not be what you want to hear"

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Yes, I agree with this too - I apply to self, often. I like to read on a clear question and spread positions.

PAMUYA said:

I really don't like to give readings to friends or family members, but I do. I always start off a reading with; "Only ask questions that you want answered, I will tell you what the cards are telling me, it may not be what you want to hear". I have had clients change their questions because of this.

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You know, I have seen the cards refuse to give an answer when the person does not really want to know it. I think it is a good idea to start with this disclaimer - that the sitter should only asks questions for which they want the answers.

The funny thing is that many people think that they want the truth, nothing but the truth... but when the truth is shown, they close their eyes. As readers, the only thing we can do is advise them, but we cannot force them to accept the message.

I like to say that when you are going to shoot the arrrow of truth, you must always dip the tip in a bowl of honey. Tell the truth, but phrase in a way that the sitter can understand... and will listen... or else they'll just close their ears and keep repeating old patterns (or even look for another reader).

Remember that you are trying to help them - it's their reading. Giving them the truth like a slap across the face is as helpful as lying. As readers, we must use some tact to express what we see.

No, it's NOT always easy....

I'm blunt. I'm not one to sugar coat it... the cards said it for a reason and I feel it's my duty to give them the message. I try to throw in some positivity as well.... but yeah, I'm blunt.

Someone called me their "tough love fortune cookie" before when I was giving them non-Tarot related advice, I feel this describes me pretty well. Yes, sometimes the truth is a slap in the face but sometimes that slap is needed to wake someone up. Don't like it, don't ask me... that's all I can say *shrugs*

MissJo said:

I'm blunt. I'm not one to sugar coat it... the cards said it for a reason and I feel it's my duty to give them the message. I try to throw in some positivity as well.... but yeah, I'm blunt.

Someone called me their "tough love fortune cookie" before when I was giving them non-Tarot related advice, I feel this describes me pretty well. Yes, sometimes the truth is a slap in the face but sometimes that slap is needed to wake someone up.

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I agree. But I don't pride myself on being blunt. It comes to me in the way it is supposed to be delivered. I can be quite gentle at times, surprisingly.