Unsettling Keen Call

So I've been doing readings on Keen for a little over a week. There are pros and cons of this particular outfit, but I've seen mostly pros so far. Although there are a large number of callers looking for "fortune telling readings" (as other Keen posts here on AT have noted), there are still a lot of Keen customers out there looking to work through blocks and difficulties, and I already feel like I've assisted a few of them.

Last night, however, I had a truly unsettling call. The sitter began simply enough by asking some questions about her past lives and the possibility of having met someone in her present incarnation who she had previously encountered in a past incarnation. The cards suggested that there was perhaps something there, and we talked a little bit about past lives versus memories from the collective unconscious.

Things started getting a bit more disconcerting as the sitter began asking who was responsible for the hellish existence she was living right now that involved controlling family members and uncaring parents. At this point, I explained that I did not have a lot of experience with past life regression, that is was a fairly complicated form of therapy, and that she should really contact someone with more expertise in that area. The sitter responded by asking "what the cards said" about several more questions. By the time she disconnected, I came away with the feeling that the sitter felt she was being dominated spiritually by others in this life, and that some person or entity is responsible for these manipulations.

I recognize that as readers, we're not supposed to judge the sitter, but this particular woman seemed to be exhibiting delusional tendencies to me - and I am not professionally capable of making such determinations. Dammit, Jim, I'm a Sword King - not a doctor. I tried explaining that tarot may not be the best method to for her concerns, but she was fixated on having me read this web of individuals - some of whom are strangers - who she felt somehow had the ability to control her. She seemed so paranoid about her family's abilities to control the minds of others that any suggestion that she seek other help only added to her sense of enclosing conspiracies all around her.

So...what is my responsbility now as a reader? I hung up feeling like I had received a very clear call for help, but that I didn't have anything in my toolbox to fix this person's very powerful feelings of helplessnes. I just studied Keen's policies and they really don't address any responsbility for Keen or the readers in any type of scenario.

Any general feedback, or feedback from similar experiences would be appreciated!

Wow. That is a tough one, sword king. I dont have the answers for you, but after reading your post, I do feel like you did all you could possibly do for her. You tried to tell her that it was beyond what you or the tarot could do for her and suggested other avenues for her to seek out. Other then that, I dont think there is anything else you cando, really.

I will be interested in reading this thread though to learn right along with you how to handle this sort of thing. I have had people come to me for medical advice from the cards and tell them I am not qualified to give that and recommend they get in touch with their doctor. It is amazing how some people do think we have this ability at times to throw out some fandom cards or what have youand get answrs for anything and everything. Not sure why some are under that impression. Anyway, good luck with it and I hope someone can answer it for you.

Some of your overview of querents may rest in your User title "the querent always lies".

AJ said:

Some of your overview of querents may rest in your User title "the querent always lies".

Click to expand...

Well, that's just my sense of humor and a reference to the character in my avatar more than anything, but the querent does sometimes lie - not always - for various reasons.

Are you suggesting that this particular querent may have been lying?

Sword King said:

So...what is my responsbility now as a reader? I hung up feeling like I had received a very clear call for help, but that I didn't have anything in my toolbox to fix this person's very powerful feelings of helplessnes. I just studied Keen's policies and they really don't address any responsbility for Keen or the readers in any type of scenario.

Any general feedback, or feedback from similar experiences would be appreciated!

Click to expand...

Your responsibility as a reader is to give a reading. What the querant does with the information is up to them.

While I can understand your desire to help, only those who are open to receiving help can acquire it. Asking for help isn't the same as being open to receiving help. You did what you could.

Well, as you know I don't have a lot of experience on the phones and I've never come across this myself... having just opened shop for Chat readings. I would say, since you are of high moral character, it might have been safe to start jumping into self-empowering solutions you saw in the cards. I mean, because, she pretty much already made up her mind to believe that other people are controlling her... so I guess my reaction might be to diffuse that, by countering it with what she can do for herself. You know... and if the cards basically said, "She needs to seek professional help" well then I would tell her that. But you really have no idea what is going on in a sitter's life, and the cards could say, "She just needs to get out and exercise to burn off some of this excess anxiety." You never know.

You need to figure out why you were unsettled though. I mean, the primary reason. If you truly believe/feel this woman was crazy and needed help and you didn't feel comfortable reading for her or even suggesting to her that she needed professional help since you aren't qualified to make that assessment, then I would have said, "I'm sorry I'm having a hard time connecting with you, if you leave 5 stars and ask for a refund given that we couldn't connect, Keen will reimburse you." Or something to that effect. I don't remember exactly how that works, but I've seen other readers have their clients do it (for whatever reason, I don't know) and had them state the reason in their feedback as reader and client couldn't connect on an energetic level... but that could be a way for you to totally disconnect yourself without having to do the reading or make a suggestion for her to get help.

I don't know if that would still work, if you've already started answering more "normal" questions and then someone flips the crazy switch on you- and so you say something like, "I'm sorry I just lost connection with you.. " LOL But perhaps at that point, you could consult the cards and ask what this person needs to do to take control of their life- and the cards might give you a solution, or tell you at that point that this person needs professional help.

Mostly, just read the cards. If you find yourself uncomfortable, end the call through whatever unobtrusive means you can come up with and immediately distance yourself. You gotta know your limits. And with Keen, I'd say a new-agey excuse isn't going to hurt anything so you can bow out. "I'm sorry my cards are locked up, I can't read on that topic for you." LOL

I know I'm making jokes here, but I do realize you were feeling unsettled and that this person might have needed professional help. But there really is only so much you can do as a card reader. I think what you did was probably the best thing you could have done.

I haven't had a caller who seemed to be having paranoid delusions quite to this level -- YET. But I have definitely had a few people who have felt that someone is trying to thwart them at every turn. Sometimes they have specific people in mind who are the source of the obstacles in their lives. And sometimes the delivery methods of those obstacles sound far-fetched, at best, which is when my red flags start going up that there could be a legit medical condition of paranoia going on.

If the cards are exonerating the people the caller thinks are trying to ruin their life, I'm tactfully honest and say that they don't appear to be taking any negative action, and that the difficulties the caller faces are just ordinary issues like the ones everyone has to deal with at times. "So you don't have to worry, there's nothing out of the ordinary going on. It's all stuff that can be dealt with via normal channels."

I have, however, directed callers who are exhibiting clear symptoms of depression to their family doctor. I know depression all too well, so as tactfully as I can, I tell them that if they are experiencing depression symptoms, the best solution is to make a beeline to their family doctor. "Depression is a MEDICAL issue and it's TREATABLE. You deserve much better than to keep feeling like this. Your doctor can work with you to help eliminate these symptoms," and so on. Sometimes I think that's WHY God sent me that caller, so someone who's willing to say something about depression will talk to them about it.

I always add the "Make sure and see your doctor" caveat when doing a reading about pregnancy, too. I don't want anybody to try and substitute a Tarot or psychic reading for professional medical care.

zannamarie said:

Your responsibility as a reader is to give a reading. What the querant does with the information is up to them.

While I can understand your desire to help, only those who are open to receiving help can acquire it. Asking for help isn't the same as being open to receiving help. You did what you could.

Click to expand...

There's a part of me hoping that, if any of these people are resistant to the advice of their family and friends who want them to go to a doctor, that hearing the PSYCHIC say they would benefit from a doctor's visit will be the deciding vote that gets them to go. If that's what it takes to help nudge these people in the direction of seeking help, I'm more than willing to do it.

Sometimes we plant a seed and it takes a while to germinate, too -- they might not call their doctor immediately after hanging up from talking to us, but maybe the idea that our conversation put in their head will gradually reach a phase where they are willing to act on it. So we can still do them some good, even if the benefit isn't realized immediately.

As a reader, your responsibility is to read cards. Period.

Disclaimer upfront: I don't read for Keen or any other call-in venue and never have, but I think the question goes for any type of reading--phone, in-person, online, etc.

Well, Gregory House , I always provide a disclaimer before I read for any [paying] client that I am not a licensed professional healthcare, mental healthcare or law practitioner, and I can only describe for him/her the energies I see in a set of cards after considering the question provided--along with any intuitive or psychic "flashes" of information that may cross my mind as I am reading the cards. And I let them know that if I see anything that makes me think it would be wise for them to seek professional help, I will tell them that.

If I get a question about past-life experiences, I am honest upfront before even drawing a card, telling the client that I can (again) only describe what I see in the cards but that since no one has invented a time machine to go back into the past, there is really no way of knowing how accurate this information might be. Then I do just that...I provide the information I see, trying very hard not to analyze or make any kind of moral judgment about what might come up. I don't think it is the job of the reader to give therapeutic or any kind of other advice, though very often clients will beg to know "What should I do about that?" Nor is your job or "right" as a reader to pass judgment--moral or otherwise--in my opinion.

[Here at AT, I think we are all a little more lax about offering advice to one another...but for paying clients, if you're not educated or licensed to do so, I think you have the moral and legal obligation to refrain. (You don't want to open yourself up to be charged with practicing law or medicine without a license, right?)]

Specifically about your question/recent situation, if you get a client on the phone who seems to be unbalanced or overly biased in any way, the best thing to do might be to simply read the cards and then cut it short by saying that this is all the information that the cards have to provide for him/her today or that you seem to be unable to connect very well at the moment and perhaps another time or another reader might be able to connect with them better.

Thanks everyone for your replies.

I've always had an "I'll try to answer that" philosophy with my readings, and I try to be upfront with the sitter if I'm trying out new ground. I had a woman ask me last night if the woman her ex was seeing was "large." I drew the Nine of Wands and figured, well, if she's 9/10 on a size scale...

But I digress. My "sure, why not" philosophy combined with my Sword Kingly mercenary tendencies had me blithely reading along in the subject reading until the end when the crazy really started getting on my shoes. It's interesting to note the timing in hindsight: when I paused to try to find a way to tell the sitter that I was losing focus on the cards, she disconnected. Perhaps she sensed my growing concern in my voice.

It sounds like the consensus is to focus on the cards and communicate honestly if that focus is disrupted for any reason - be it the doorbell, or concern for the state of one's footwear.

That's good advice in any scenario. Thanks again.