is my friend having an affair

I have been asked to find out if from a male friend if his girlfriend is having an affair.

Does anyone have any reads on this? and do u think its ok to do?

thanks
Paula xx

I have been asked to find out if from a male friend if his girlfriend is having an affair.

Does anyone have any reads on this? and do u think its ok to do?

thanks
Paula xx

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I would never do a Reading for this. Basically I am being asked to spy on somebody, with the intention of looking what they do in their private life. I wouldn't tap the phone, I wouldn't follow the person to see what they are doing, and I certainly wouldn't do a Tarot Reading on them. They haven't given me permission.

If your friend is wondering about this, he should confront his girlfriend. If he feels it's too early for this, then I suggest you ask him why it is in his mind at all. If he has suspicions, talking it out is the best solution.
Besides that, I suggest you suggest to him to otherwise do a Reading on how to improve his relationship. That should give him much better help to start improving it. The best thing would be to have both them there for a combined Reading.

Kahlie

thanks for the input

Paula, I think you'll find that opinions vary on whether this is okay to do. It's really up to the individual reader. Like Kahlie, I would not do this reading, for all the reasons mentioned. However, I am certain you will hear from readers who have no problem with it.

Here is one of many threads where this has been discussed.
http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=45198&highlight=third+party

You could always rephrase the question so that it's something less intrusive.

If this person was a friend of mine I'd advise them to change the question to something like 'What does ____ (your friend) need to know about his relationship with ____(his girlfriend)?

Then I'd either go with a 3 card spread - something like:
1. The situation
2. What he needs to know
3. What he can do about it - maybe add a 4th position for the probable outcome.

or:
1. You / the situation now
2. The veil - what you can't see
3. Advice

Or for more detail a 7 card elipse spread:

..1...................7...
.....2.............6......
........3.......5.........
............4............
1. Recent Past
2. Present
3. near future
4. Answer to the question
5. Enviroment / surrounding energies (this position could show another person)
6. hopes / fears
7. Probable outcome

If you do a reading like this it will concentrate on your client and not on his girlfriend - hence less intrusive.

Hope that helps.

Love

sulis xx

PaulaB said:

I have been asked to find out if from a male friend if his girlfriend is having an affair.

Click to expand...

Hi Paula
My take on this? If it were me, I wouldn't do it. I would see it as the psychic equivalent of peeping in somebody's window, or drilling a hole through the wall of a public lavatory. (Ewwwwww...)

If your friend has doubts about his girlfriend's fidelity, I think he really should talk to her about it, and not involve you. For several reasons. Would acquiescence to his request compromise your personal ethics? That's not a very nice thing to ask of you, is it. And if I were the girlfriend in question, I wouldn't really feel comfortable in a relationship with someone who asked a 3rd party to, (in effect) spy on me, instead of just confronting me about his suspicions to my face.
(Unless he's done this already, and the girl either told the truth (no affair) but he wasn't convinced, or lied through her teeth. In any case, it's still up to him to find out the truth for himself.)

And then there is, of course, the blatantly obvious fact that cards can be wrong. Wouldn't it be lovely if you actually did the reading for him, interpreted it as such that the girl was engaging in all sorts of clandestine activities, and... in fact... she was not?
Or, what if the reading came back negative, and the girl was actually carrying on with wild abandon?

This would place you in a very uncomfortable, embarrassing position. In situation 1, your information, if wrong, would more than likely be a contributing factor to whatever action the boyfriend decided to take, be it angry accusations, breaking up, or worse. If, on the other hand, situation 2 were the case, you would be giving the poor bloke a false sense of security. He would eventually find out the truth, and once again, there would be YOU, smack in the middle.

And if your reading were dead on, would you not be encouraging your karma to loiter about in some dark alley where it might have no business being?

My advice would be to leave it as their problem, and don't make it yours.
You have less chance of losing both integrity and friends that way.

I hope this doesn't sound cruel, but please, do think through all the consequences.
All the best, DE

Your Friend....or yourself?

Is it really your friend, or your boyfriend or husband. Forgive me for being so intrusive, sometimes when people ask about readings concearning something personal like that, they say, "I have a 'friend' who might be having an affair," or "I have a Friend who has this problem" When they are the ones who really want the reading. Not sure if this is the same for everybody, but I just had to ask. Also, it can be hard learning that someone you know or love, whether friend or someone more personal might be having extramarital activites. I am currently going through a divorce because of all the fish in the sea, I had to pick some jerk who married me to get a work permit and a greencard and is about as faithfull as the weather. I am sure that other people here have a story to tell as well. For me, I would allways get what I called the "Sneaky" Cards. Cheif among these were: The 7 of swords, the Page of swords, two of swords, the lovers, the devil...etc: Some of those may be imediantly obvious to anyone who studies the cards as well to many who donot. But for sure, I would get the 7 of Swords. I Didn't allways tell him though, untill I had proof. Then I could confirm the reading, and he would deny it till he was blue in the face and then finally admit it. The thing to remember about doing this kind of reading for yourself or someone you know, is that You don't allways have to admit what you know. Part of reading, is learning when to open your mouth to tell someone, and when not too. If your friend has not asked for this reading, then it might not be wise to tell him or her. However, if he or she has asked for this specific reading, there is a good bet that he or she allready suspects. In any case, you need to becarefull about what you say, but by all means DONOT LIE TO THEM!!!!! One: because He or she is your friend, and Two: Because they are a 'client' whether or not you are being paid for it. You should allways be honest about what you see, and is that an actual affair going on, or is it what the person is thinking about? Is it what you are suspecting, or could it be a possibility for the future? All these questions are something you need to consider. Sometimes we are given the gift of the cards not just to tell the future but perhaps to console, or give friendly advice. The approach you might like to take is, "What would make you suspect that your (husband/lover/boyfriend, etc Is having an affair?" Etc: If the person's fears are confirmed, you might want to help them with what to do, such as good advice and common sense. And a woman ALLWAYS knows, 9 times out of 10, a woman's intuition is dead on the money in some way, shape, or form. Don't expect your inconsiderate other to admit to the affair though. Also, a woman that goes blabering out everything she feels, senses, sees, gets no where. I am sorry, but most of the time this is true. My mother never got anywhere by being 'paranoid' all the time. Because if you jump at every suspicious thing, then you will not be able to tell which of those are true and which are not. Sorry, just felt like being a little theraputic this evening. One last thing: Perhaps you should ask the cards themselves how best to break the news.

Love to all,
Kim

This query begs the question: Is it your business what is going on in your own relationship?

If my husband was having an affair - as far as I'm concerned that is my damn business and I have every right to know about it. If we lived in a perfect world, he wouldn't have an affair in the first place, never mind tell me about it. People don't usually tell you this kind of stuff, it has to be dragged out of them and let me tell you a secret : People lie!

So you have children, a home to protect and you suspect your husband is having an affair but he's admitting nothing. What do you do? I'm a tarot reader, take a guess at what I'd do? I"d be totally 'unethical' and ask what the hell was going on in my own relationship. I'd do this in a protected environment though, just in case I got struck down by the tarot ethics police

I like Sulis' approach, which is similar to mine. Reading about the querent will oft provide the necessary information.

Always get interesting results from a general reading where clients do not state the nature of their concern, but scenarios surface regarding a significant other or some other matter. In the absence of prior information &/or a question, I approach a reading with "What does [client] need to know at this time?" Invariably, the information most needed results.

Therefore, convinced that whatever the client needs to know, it *will* appear.

Would also listen to DarkElectric regarding possible consequences should one misinterpret & the chain/Wheel that could inadvertently be set in motion.

This may just be a person with issues (which can bode ill for any relationship he may engage in) or one who may already know based on past experiences with relationships or the current--in which case going to the issue's source seems the best. May not get 'the truth' but should get some clarification.

*Technically* speaking, one can read about anyone or anything--there is really nothing 'in place' to stop reading about whatever. The crux, however, is the intent & what one chooses to do with the information--which can determine its quality.

As a reader, I prefer to try to look at all sides & counsel the client towards the best approach (which can include dispensing with a reading). One client never needed to tell me anything--the loud thought balloons regarding the relationship preceded her actual presence or phone call.

I wouldn't do it just because it puts you in an uncomfortable position as stated before. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't, reading-wise. Either way, you're gonna lose your friend.

Don't get involved.