Reading for a loved one?

Hello all, I am still very much a newbie in regards to the tarot. So far I have been reading books both on and off line, journaling, and getting acquainted with my Rider deck. Have started doing three card spreads just to start testing the waters. My question is this: last night I received a call from my sister. She is going through what seems to be a constant crisis situation. It's always something with her, she has a terrible relationship history and just never really seems to be at peace on any level. Sorry, I feel like I am going on to much...

Anyways, her latest crisis is she was just fired from her job. Her story made no sense to me but frankly it's just another weld on the bars of her symbolic prison of negativity. I really wanted to offer some guidance, some encouragement etc. All I could think about is, gee I wonder what the cards would have to say about her overall situation. Really wanted to do a three card spread for her but she didn't ask (doesn't know about my tarot studies anyway) and I didn't offer. Now finally to my question; would it be acceptable to do a reading for/about a loved one even without their knowledge of it?

I don't recall reading anything about this question here or elsewhere so I figured what better place to ask. Just hope I posted in the right forum. Thanks for any thoughts or input on this.

Hello Edge,

It is a good and not easy question as discussion has raised high in the past on the possible answers. I first read the title of this thread: "Reading for a loved one?" And I thought, well why not?

And then I read: "reading for/about a loved one even without their knowledge of it?"

That is another question. And since you ask, I will reply: why would you read for your sister without her knowledge? Will you say anything to her if the outcome is good? Or bad? Why not tell her you are concerned, you want to offer help, you would like to read a few cards, yes, you are into tarot! and it is up to her to decide what to think of the outcome?
Well just my 2 cents.
Blessings

Forewarned is forearmed. If you stick to spreads that show current situation rather than anything in the future, then you might be able to counsel her without lifting the veil on her future.

I have read for family without their knowledge; I think they must know by now that I am studying tarot but it's "don't ask, don't tell" and I am leaving it up to them to approach me rather than having them think it's one in a line of similar "obsessions". But to be honest sometimes I know enough of what's going on - since we all still live in the same house - not to need to.

I've read for my grandmother and she's got a good future coming up with her (recently widowered) King of Pentacles ; however again I concentrate my readings on those outside my immediate sphere of contact: it offers more of a challenge to find out whether I'm right or not, and it prevents me from family embarrassment if they (for whatever reason) disapprove, and we have everything from sceptics/atheists to diehard religious fanatics (I mean of the fundamentalist kind) in the family, so...I already freaked my sister out by "dowsing" for her keys and making an issue that they are under her bed when she's claimed she's already checked, and I had a look while she was away and didn't find them (and got mauled for going into her room without permission), so I've stopped reading for them at the moment. When she said she had lost her keys I got an immediate picture in my mind of her bed, and when I cast the cards the Star jumped out at me - and she has stars embroidered on her duvet. But no joy (outcome was reversed Sun). So they have got down out of reach somewhere.

I guess it depends on what you feel might benefit you both in the long run. Keep it in the present - or even ask the cards whether you ought to read for her - or "how do I best help her through what she is about to go through?"

I want to read for sister's new house, as they are having problems finding one after they almost bought one in the middle of a bad estate (they saw kids chucking stones at it when they went back for a look!!!), but again, I'm worried about being accused of interfering by someone who thinks the tarot is just another silly fairground act by gypsies in long cloaks and fake accents.

Thank you Dwaas and Crowqueen, I appreciate your thoughts. I know my sister is open minded so I don't really feel like she would be shocked that I study tarot. I think when I talk to her again I will bring it up and see how it goes from there. My intention in the original question was not necessarily to share my findings from a reading with her, I merely was hoping to gain some insight as to how if at all I could offer some sound advice, encouragement or perhaps even caution considering her present situation.

Thank you both for helping me think this through, I'm such a newbie LOL.

Perhaps if you did a reading for yourself asking what YOU should know in order to advise or help your sister...

I would ask. That would be the idea. I would tell her that you think it would really do her some good if you do a reading for her. That it could help her feel better and understand things. That you care and would like to help. Then ask her if it would be alright for you to do one for her.

If you do just do it without asking, how could you tell her of the results?

That being said I have on occasion done readings on men who were driving me crazy. Just to try and understand where they were coming from so I could calm down. I don't know if it's moral, but I have to admit that I have done it. Luckily, none of them seemed to have minded afterwards, but one just did not want to know what the future said, just liked taking things one day at a time.

Babs

I see no harm in reading about family when you're genuinely concerned.

If it makes you feel better, you could make the reading about you and your interactions with her, something like this:

"How best can I be there for my sister during her time of crisis, for the best outcome for all concerned?"

That way the reading is about you and your actions and not prying into anything that she might not consider your business. It also may help you keep from feeling sucked into the problems as well, help maintain a balance of energy.

Nevada

P.S. And now I see that starrystarrynight said pretty much the same thing.

Thank to all of you for sharing your thoughts on this, I feel much better about the situation now. Some great advice!