Don't Fit the Mold

Hello!

My tarot readings are becoming deeper and more frequent, so I became a subscriber to Aeclectic Tarot.

I had an interesting experience the other day. I have been giving readings to my friends for a year or so, having read for myself since the early 90s. My friends are always stunned by the accuracy and applicability of my readings to their lives, and have encouraged me to read professionally. I have a good job already, and don't really need the money I could earn byreading. I feel, however, that I would be performing a good service to humanity generally by bringing my readings to the public.

On the advice of a friend, I auditioned at a New Age bookstore for their monthly psychic fair. I gave three cold readings to different store employees who, in my opinion, were deliberately blocking or simply were not interested in having a reading. Nonetheless, the readings went very well (from my perspective), and I learned some interesting facts about them.

The most curious part of the experience was that the store owner was negatively predisposed to me because I didn't fit her idea of what a tarot reader should look like: a middle-aged gypsy woman. I am a handsome man in my mid-thirties, and wore to the audition regular street clothes. She also commented that I wasn't "psychic enough". I explained to her that interpreting the cards is half study and lore, and half intuition, inspiration, and flashes of numinous insight. Perhaps she was expecting me to go into trance and channel Hathors

I am now hoping to discover a wardrobe that will put querents more at ease when they work with me. It needs to be natural (as in, unforced or pretentious), comfortable, and not silly. I am not looking for fashion advice, but rather wonder if others on this forum have experienced similar discrimination based on a preconceived notion of what a psychic should look like.

Cheers,
Scott

Welcome to the forum Scott!

Speaking for myself I'd much prefer a reader dressed 'normally' whatever that is and would choose them over a reader in get-up at a fair. But that said there have been a number of threads here about what people wear when they are doing events and a lot of it is basic B movie garb. Which could be a lot of fun to put together but just reinforces the hokey impression I for one would like to avoid.

I'm also sorry you got a taste of what a woman applying for employment in a man's world often gets.

I work with two very normal looking male readers and they wear just nice street clothes...and they get plenty of clients.
One of them though when he is asked to dress more tarotish for a gathering wears a red tee shirt that says PSYCHIC across the front.
More as a joke in stressing the point of just how silly he feels it is to judge a good reader by their choice of clothes.

So it seems more her problem than yours, and if you end up working there eventually your readings will be what counts and if you pull in business for her she won't care if you come to work wearing a garbage bag or a peasant shirt.

As far as advice....get yourself some nice looser fitting, natural material, and natural colored shirts.
If you wear jewelry one interesting ring or a nice crystal on a chain....will do.
Less is more....and I think it is better to create a persona of 'I admire him and his serenity and self confidence'.... rather than 'I'm scared of him he's weird and wears strange clothes.'

Good luck Scott and welcome to Aeclectic.

Of course we also can't forget wearing a pink tutu, most appropriate.

Welcome to the forum Scott. Jeans and shirt and sneakers work well, whatever you are most comfortable in. That's fine.



Baroli

I think you should wear whatever you feel comfortable in and let your readings speak for themselves.
If you dress up and don't feel comfortable then you'll give off 'I feel uncomfortable' vibes and your readings will suffer.

I would rather go to a reader who looks like they are happy in their own skin rather than someone who looks like a fake gypsy any day.

You may like to read through this thread though: http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=60724
There are lots of lovely, nutty outfits in there.

Thank you for the replies!

AJ -> Absolutely. I've seen so many people all garbed up (psychics, musicians, gamers, punk rockers, etc.) that IMO look a little silly (and I've done it ). I think it's a fun subculture if you're into it, but I'm not interested in dolling myself up for acceptance. Very salient point re: how women are treated in the working world. Thank you for pointing that out.

lark -> yes, it's completely her problem. I think what stunned me was that I expected more open-mindedness at a New Age bookstore, not this sort of reverse discrimination where if you *don't* look like a gypsy, you'll get snubbed. I like the humor angle for clothing -- I'll look into that. Your advice is spot on, seeing as that's what I tend to wear anyway. It's just what I feel comfortable in, and doesn't make a strong statement either way, other than "I like cotton."

Baroli -> I only have a purple tutu, will that do?

Sulis -> That's exactly my plan. I found out some interesting details of the woman for whom I did the reading which confirmed what the cards had revealed at the time of the reading. Verrry interesting. Maybe they don't want a good reader in there, hmm?

Scott

As someone who dresses like a gypsy every day anyway...I can tell you that I actually had one gig, where they asked me to "tone down" my look!

People are so strange...I would say...don't bother with this woman or her shop...as I am sure there are many many more venues that will welcome your talents and skills, and won't care what you look like or dress like!

I agree with what's already been said...wear whatever you feel more comfortable in!

Ah! But as you did ask for clothes advice...so I asked my spouse.
He's a man,he's been a tarot reader before, he likes clothes and he's a DJ...(which is another profession where people seem to have a certain expectation on how you should dress...and how you should look.)

His suggestion...a nice comforatble cotton shirt from Deva...and whatever jeans or pants you feel comfortable in.

http://www.devalifewear.com/mm5/

(he claims this look says "I care about people, healthy living and the environment. I am not a weirdo, but I am comfortable being seen as a sensitive male")

Well, my initial post stated I wasn't looking for fashion advice, but rather to hear if other people had similar experiences. That being said, I'll check out your link

Good call on the DJ thing. I played live Techno shows off my laptop for a while, and people were put off by the fact that I wore tie dyes and have long hair. "What, you're not bald and wearing mirrorshades? You must suck!"

People are strange when you're a stranger.

And yes, I'm not interested in reading at this shop. I am, however, giving a singing bowls performance there this weekend.

just out of curiosity, how do you usually look.
what's your idea of normal street gear?

To this meeting, I wore a simple, short sleeved, tan cotton dress shirt, and relatively new jeans. Birkenstocks. No obvious jewelry except plain wedding band.

I read from the World Spirit Tarot, which is new to me but easy to read, since its an RWS scion. Perhaps the woman was expecting me to pull out a Thoth deck so worn the pictures were barely legible