anyone ever have querant try to change the meaning of your reading?

i know from reading alot of older posts that different decks each have their special way of presenting information. for instance, one deck may be blunt and tell you some guy doesnt want you, whereas another deck may word it as, "he's just not interested in you, right now."

at least, thats what i gathered...or is that just personal reading styles: some readers see things more positively than others? im asking because ive done a few readings (on here) and twice i got an undesirable result... an outcome that the querant didnt want. however, instead of taking it as the cards telling them things wont work out, some of the people i read for chose to interpret the results as a guidiance card; the tarot telling them not to worry because things will work out. i hope this makes sense.

as a result, my confidence in the accurracy of my readings is really beginning to take a hit. im almost not wanting to read for others because im worried the cards will tell me things will end badly and ill look like i just want to see things negatively or something.



oh! and in cases like these, whose perception is more valid, me (the reader) or the person i am reading for?

ps. i hope it doesnt sound like im complaining because i love reading for others. its cool. i just dont want to spend the rest of my life looking at a negative outomce and thinking, "oh, things will work out. let me just tell her not to worry because in the future, if she thinks things arent working out, well its all just in her mind."

If I got my feelings hurt every time I did a reading for someone (including here on AT) that had an outcome that was not desirable for the qurerent, I'd be curled up in a little ball in a dark corner.

Some readers are more blunt than others, and maybe some have more "positive" outlooks, I guess...but it's all in how the cards speak. Each card has so many different nuances, depending on the position of the cards in a spread, dignities (if you use them), reversals (if you use them), experience of the reader...that one card can mean different things to different people.

Don't let this undermine your confidence in your readings. Someone once told me that when the querent indicates that your readings are off for them, that usually means that you were so on target, it wasn't funny.

Oh, and your perception should be the clearer of the two, since you are (hopefully) an objective party who is delivering a message from the cards.

Just my $.02. You'll do fine.

T.

Crystal17 said:

i know from reading alot of older posts that different decks each have their special way of presenting information. for instance, one deck may be blunt and tell you some guy doesnt want you, whereas another deck may word it as, "he's just not interested in you, right now."

at least, thats what i gathered...or is that just personal reading styles: some readers see things more positively than others? im asking because ive done a few readings (on here) and twice i got an undesirable result... an outcome that the querant didnt want. however, instead of taking it as the cards telling them things wont work out, some of the people i read for chose to interpret the results as a guidiance card; the tarot telling them not to worry because things will work out. i hope this makes sense.

as a result, my confidence in the accurracy of my readings is really beginning to take a hit. im almost not wanting to read for others because im worried the cards will tell me things will end badly and ill look like i just want to see things negatively or something.



oh! and in cases like these, whose perception is more valid, me (the reader) or the person i am reading for?

Click to expand...

crystal17 said:

i just dont want to spend the rest of my life looking at a negative outomce and thinking, "oh, things will work out. let me just tell her not to worry because in the future, if she thinks things arent working out, well its all just in her mind."

Click to expand...

No, don't do that! (Otherwise, why bother to read the cards...just proceed to the happily-ever-after ending for the querent.)

Keep in mind a couple of things. One, yeah, you could have misinterpreted the cards. No one is infallible. Two, the querent is often invested emotionally in the question and, naturally wants the reader to tell her not to worry, that everything is going to be fine. Three, that's just not realistic, so, being a reader herself, she tries to see any other way to read the cards to her advantage. It's human nature--no one wants to get bad news.

Of course there are ways of presenting "bad news" and ways of "taking the edge off" of that news. (I know I'm not as diplomatic as I could be a lot of times, but I'm working on it!)

The thing is, we are all here to learn from one another. No one has all the answers. I don't think that is even possible when reading tarot. (In fact, I know it's not.)

And remember, we learn as much from our mistakes as we do from our successes--and that goes for those querents who may buck against you sometimes, too.

Your perception is more accurate, of course. You know your deck, and you know how your deck talks to you!!!

as far as the querent goes, if they want to change the outcome of the reading and interpret what you are reading, then they should have just read their own cards in the first place!!!!

A word of advice: It is harder to read the cards of someone who already reads cards, or does any other kind of divination, because no matter what you tell them, they always think they know better (i include myself in this lot sometimes, as well)... so trust your intuition, and will never lead you astray!!!!

put your foot down and your defenses up, YOUR cards are YOUR connection to the universe, not the querent's!!!!!

Blessings and good luck!!!!!

afrosaxon said:

If I got my feelings hurt every time I did a reading for someone (including here on AT) that had an outcome that was not desirable for the qurerent, I'd be curled up in a little ball in a dark corner.

Click to expand...

*lol* thanks, afrosaxon =)

yeh, it's such a downer when you take the time to read someone's card and they only agree with the "good" cards but try to change the meaning because they dont like an outcome.

because thats my main my problem: they thought the rest of the reading was accurate- just not the outcome.

but i suppose its better than when you do a relationship reading for someone and you tell them,the one they like sees them in a different way than they want to be seen and then they wanna act like its your fault! haha.

starrystarrynight said:

No, don't do that! (Otherwise, why bother to read the cards...just proceed to the happily-ever-after ending for the querent.)

Keep in mind a couple of things. One, yeah, you could have misinterpreted the cards. No one is infallible. Two, the querent is often invested emotionally in the question and, naturally wants the reader to tell her not to worry, that everything is going to be fine. Three, that's just not realistic, so, being a reader herself, she tries to see any other way to read the cards to her advantage. It's human nature--no one wants to get bad news.

Of course there are ways of presenting "bad news" and ways of "taking the edge off" of that news. (I know I'm not as diplomatic as I could be a lot of times, but I'm working on it!)

The thing is, we are all here to learn from one another. No one has all the answers. I don't think that is even possible when reading tarot. (In fact, I know it's not.)

And remember, we learn as much from our mistakes as we do from our successes--and that goes for those querents who may buck against you sometimes, too.

Click to expand...

good point. i never thought of that, but you are right. see, when i see you all with your thousands of posts and your positive feedbacks, i kind of forget that im not expected to know all the answers...i just feel pressured to be perfect so i could have a good reputation and people will wanna work with me.

Oracle Modeste said:

Your perception is more accurate, of course. You know your deck, and you know how your deck talks to you!!!

as far as the querent goes, if they want to change the outcome of the reading and interpret what you are reading, then they should have just read their own cards in the first place!!!!

A word of advice: It is harder to read the cards of someone who already reads cards, or does any other kind of divination, because no matter what you tell them, they always think they know better (i include myself in this lot sometimes, as well)... so trust your intuition, and will never lead you astray!!!!

put your foot down and your defenses up, YOUR cards are YOUR connection to the universe, not the querent's!!!!!

Blessings and good luck!!!!!

Click to expand...

haha- thats just what i was thinking. i was getting to the point where i wanted to ask people, "if you dont like the outcome, would you still like me to give you my interpretation or would you just rather i list the cards and you can interpret. oh, but would you please not forget to give me feedback. xoxox!"

because i know of instances where people just want you to draw cards for them but they'd interpret it themselves... i used to be one of them before joining aecletic tarot, so i'd know =)

(guilty) I do that now and then, if I disagree with a reading I am looking over, when it is known I read, and I know both the querent and the reader, or I am the querent and know the reader. Sometimes a group of us get together 2 or 3 readers and 4 or 5 non readers. It is a social and a reading exchange, often if I am being read for, the reader will ask my opinion anyways so I guess I am just doing what is asked of me.

I believe that sometimes presentation can make a huge difference. I'm not sure about this, but maybe rapport plays a key role? I just re-read some of Umbrae's process threads and he said something a long the lines of "sometimes the sitter tries to wrestle control of the reading from you." According to him, rapport helps establish your control of the reading. It helps them be more receptive. Man, I feel like a textbook right now.

lilangel09 said:

I believe that sometimes presentation can make a huge difference. I'm not sure about this, but maybe rapport plays a key role? I just re-read some of Umbrae's process threads and he said something a long the lines of "sometimes the sitter tries to wrestle control of the reading from you." According to him, rapport helps establish your control of the reading. It helps them be more receptive. Man, I feel like a textbook right now.

Click to expand...

thanks, ill look at it. i dont really know how i could establish rapport with online, though, but maybe i will once i check the thread out =)

Crystal17 said:

thanks, ill look at it. i dont really know how i could establish rapport with online, though, but maybe i will once i check the thread out =)

Click to expand...

triple post. (wifes computer, this Scotsman better upgrade it