tired of being tired?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 02 May 2002, and now archived in the Forum Library.

jakyle	02 May 2002
This is why I lay in bed and can't have a good nights rest. I panic at the thought of infinity and death. Is there a heaven? Is this just a one time shot? If you go to "heaven" and you are there for eternity, are you panicky( like I am) about the thought of "Eternity?"...........I have been diagnosed as having panic disorder, but this to me is by far a different feeling I get when I ponder these questions......I'm afraid of death, but I hope that there is something else out there. I'm just tired of being tired.............What thoughts keep others awake at night? Besides soft porn.....

aeonx	02 May 2002
Greetings jakyle. I can't help but seeing myself in that situation as well, from time to time. I wish you lots of luck and light on your further journey in life! In the meantime, all I can do is to give you an advice: ((((((((((((WRITE, WRITE, WRITE)))))))))) I strongly, highly, greatly + heaps of other adjectives recommend this form of therapy! It has helped me tremendously over the years, and if I hadn't been able to write, I don't know what I would have done... The writing doesn't have to be long, good, great or anything else. Just get your feelings down on a piece of paper. You don't even have to keep it. Burn it afterwards! It's only the writing itself that's really neccessary. :) I can't promise you 100% that this will work, but 99,9%. At least, try it. Once, twice, trice and so on. But don't give up right away. I'll be sending you positive energy. Hang in there! :) :) :) Blessings, ~aeonx~

Rhiannon	02 May 2002
I think we've all sat up at night with our "what ifs". I know I've been doing alot of it lately, especially the $$ what if. I read alot. Try to keep my mind off of it. If I can't relax I burn my favorite incense, it automatically helps me to calm down. Then I can usually get to an almost meditative state where I can easily fall asleep. If nothing else, try a new cushy mattress pad! ;) Rhiannon :)

destinyawaitsme	02 May 2002
I used to have (well still do sometimes) a big problem with worrying myself sick...literally. And most of the time, I was worried over nothing. A friend of mine got me started in candle rituals..and praying..it's helped me a lot. Aromatherapy helped a lot too.

jade	02 May 2002
attempt to live in the moment. worry is the future. anger is the past. instead, attempt to just exist in this moment.........................now obviously that doesn't mean spend all you money in this second and don't leave some for rent and bills......... instead, when you find yourself contemplating your death and what is beyond tell yourself that you trust everything is for your greatest good. then take three deep cleansing breaths. in-spiration out negativity in-spiration - nice a deep! out negativity and worry in-spiration out past and future focus on your breath rather than your worries and fears. if you find your mind worrying again, redo the above exercise. you may not stop worrying the first night......but practise makes better and your focus will slowly change, your thinking will change and in time, when the time is right, you will find yourself trusting and believing in things and concepts that you don't now. in other words, as you grow and change, you will find that your fears are no longer present because (perhaps) you will believe in the after-life, or reincarnation etc. in light, jade :) ps remember, we are energy and energy doesn't die :)

funkpuss	02 May 2002
Hi jakyle, I really do feel for you! I'm just coming out of depression and I know all about the porn stuff. it's poison!! I would just to little things each day that makes you feel better even if it's just for 5 mins. and Yoga really helps!! The main thing is that you have someone to talk to a therapist or even friends. I had knowone which mad things 10 times worse and still havn't got any friends apart from this forum. And my only other help was calling the sos/samatians Don't try to do too much at the same time other wise you will just beat yourself up. I started my french course again 2 weeks ago and I dropped out his week and that's life, at least I gave it a go. A old friend of mine had the same thing as you and it took her some time to get over it as she had to deal with the problem like everyon has to do to move on, but her problems was her boyfriends mother, which seems not too bad but she was a reck because of this woman controling her life and hr boyfriend felt that he was in the middle, so she felt stuck. She then had 3 months of therapy to deal with her panic attacks and now she can control them. But my friend wouldn't even go out of the house because of all this. It's easy to say as I also need to do more myself. BUT give yourself LOVE and each day say something to yourself that you like about yourself. If it wasn't for this forum I'd don't know where I would be today! Good luck & Love Funky:*

zorya	02 May 2002
i have sooooo been where you are now jakyle! :) ask for faith. even if you don't believe anyone's listening. ask and ask daily. it may take time, but the universe is listening. clear your mind (try meditation), daily, and eventually you will hear answers, one way or another. :OL

truthsayer	02 May 2002
everyone has listed such good ones that i'll try to hit the ones no one has mentioned: exercise is a great way to release anxiety. i try to walk a few times a week and it really helps me. i also try to walk somewhere in nature i find beautiful. if you are single, sleep w/ a cuddly stuffed animal. find a book w/ soothing poems or quotes or devotionals and read it before bed. start a night time ritual of soothing things. try to avoid things that tend to overstimulate you. mine is to read or watch tv and take a warm bath. i try to focus my thoughts on how i look forward to my nice soft warm comforting bed. how i will enjoy resting. if i can't relax i write or draw to get the excess emotion out of my system. you don't have to be an artist to do this one: get paper and cheap paint or crayons and draw pictures of your fears. then destroy them telling yourself that you have let go of this fear. it may take several times before you can convince your subconscious mind you are serious but it'll get thru eventually. write a letter to your fear w/ your dominate hand. answer any questions you pose your fear by writing w/ your nondominant hand to get your fear's answer. this really works!!!!!! when you finish do a ritual of disposing of the fear thru burning or burying. you might want to use incense or candles to add to the atmosphere. i like to take a shower after doing such rituals to symbolically show myself i am "washing off" those feelings. if you have a pet, tell it about your fear. animals are patient. they don't invalidate your feelings and they love you unconditionally. i more afraid of my cats dying than me dying! :) do you feel safer sleeping in the daytime? i do and when i'm feeling particularly sleepless i will take naps. i find the computer overstimulating. if i stay online late at night then i have a lot of problems sleeping and feeling anxious all night.

Spasticgirlie	02 May 2002
Ack Jackyle I am where you are right now. I dont really stay awake from it or anything mainly because I am always tired. But I wonder what it would be like after I die. Am I going to come back and all that type of stuff. However this is partially where my fear of being blind comes from. I am afraid of never seeing again, while I am alive or while I am dead. And then the fact that if I do, like if I am reincarnated the fact I wont remember what I saw and Ill be sitting here writing this as someone else in the future and never know......Ack it never ends.

Rhiannon	03 May 2002
as truthsayer said: exercise. It also releases endorphins... your body's natural "happy pill" Rhiannon :)

Spasticgirlie	04 May 2002
I must say whenever I would excersize, which I dont much at all any more because a lot of the time I am too tired, I never felt happy or anything, I just felt tired while I was doing it and even more so when I was done. Where are these "happy pills"?

Jenny-Li	07 May 2002
Hi Jakyle, I know the feeling too, even though I've managed to shake it since a while back. I think most people have thoughts like this, that's what we (humans) get for being able to reflect, there's a back side to everything I guess...! Anyway, I've always been a worryer, always. I'd lay awake at night being afraid I'd die this very second, getting myself so worked up it actually felt like I WAS dying, my heart would act strangely and I'd forget to breathe for a few moments. And all that made me afraid to sleep, because if I slept, I figured I wouldn't be able to control myself so that I breathed (I didn't realize that it was my worry that caused all that, and if I could only come to rest, my body would deal with it just as it "always" has done, without my "help" thankyouverymuch...! I will probably end up in that situation again, but since I started to care about my spirit (which I didn't do before, I don't even think I realized that I had one - you know like most people don't reflect on their spirituality at all...) I find it a lot easier to trust the Universe now, to feel that it'll be OK, that I really don't have to KNOW what will happen, I can actually for the first time in my life just TRUST that it will be OK, and that is that. It is a truely amazing feeling, and I can't tell you exactly what will get you there, I guess the spiritual journey is different for all of us. But I can tell you this much: I have not come very far on my journey, like I said: a year ago, I had never even thought about being a spiritual creature. (Hm - that might be the wrong word - hope you know how I mean!) You don't have to get to the point of being a full fledged Zen master to find this trust and peace, there is some part of you that already knows all this, and once you find that belief it will be so natural, there will be no room for doubt and worry. I'm rambling here, but your post made me realize that I actually haven't been worried like this in a long time, and I'm more or less writing WHILE trying to pinpoint what's happened...! I'm not saying I have found a peace of mind that will last forever, even I don't dare to believe that. But doing the breathing thing Jade suggested, and also you might want to ground yourself AND your bed (sounds silly but I think it works!) before you go to sleep, I think that and being open to ways of finding your "spiritual truth" - in time you will get there, and like me you might not even notice when it happens...! I wish you all luck on this journey, I wish you peace of mind to get some rest instead of worry, and I send you light and love for the road! Jenny :)

funkpuss	07 May 2002
Hi sorry I had that silly song in my head.....MOVE IT I agree with Spasticgirlie I used to go to the gym and it really helped A LOT!! So after an hour or even 20 mins at the gym I really didn't care if I went back to bed or not as I done something at least for the day. I can't afford it now but I will go to the park and have a quick run or just go out for a long walk. It made a big difference. Also have a kiwi fruit in the morning it's brill!!! for energy, I noticed the difference with in 5 mins. Funky:)

Logiatrix	09 May 2002
jakyle, i understand your anxiety...been there, but i have found solutions. now, to keep such thoughts at bay--even non-existent--i strictly maintain two very important rules. (just two, 'cuz keeping it simple is the only way anything works for me!) one rule is that i absolutely NEVER attempt to fall asleep in the dark. that's when the bad thoughts start churning up. i don't turn out the lights unless i'm ready to pass out; until then, i keep my surroundings flooded with light. there's actually some true, physiological reason that light positively effects us, but i don't know the specifics. the other rule is: learn to pray. study the practice, harken back to your spiritual or religious heritage, adopt a new one--just take on some sort of prayer habit that works for you. this current situation you are dealing with is not unusual, and it's exactly the kind of thing that prayer conquers. prayer is the antidote to fear. ;) speaking of prayer, you will be mentioned with much care in my next talk to the Source...

jade	11 May 2002
jakyle, so how are you doing? in light, jade :)

The tired of being tired? thread was originally posted on 02 May 2002 in the Spirituality board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Spirituality, or read more archived threads.