can posative think help anger

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 27 Mar 2003, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Amythist	27 Mar 2003
I need help dealing with my anger problem, I throw things beat my self and have servier anger problems. can any give us advice on how to deal with my anger or can you help me think possativly to help me pull through. I suffer from depression anger self hatered and short fused and self halm. i have pulled out a card practice posative thinking and constuive actions now! I am not proud with what i am typing this but i need guidance and possative attude from you all if i start falling. please. i have permoisson to type this aswell Thankyou

zorya	27 Mar 2003
we all have problems and shortcomings. it is usually hard for people to admit those problems to themselves. to be willing and ready to face your problems with anger is a huge step and one to be very proud of! way to go amythist!!! yes, positive thinking does help. don't expect everything to change overnight. it will take lots of time and effort, but it will be really worth it! i would recommend first trying to recognize your feelings of anger as you first start to experience them. does your body tighten, do your hands or teeth clench. can you feel yourself become warmer and warmer? those kinds of things can become signs and warnings to you. as you learn to recognize the symptoms, it will become easier to take control of yourself. there is nothing wrong with feeling anger. it is how we handle it , and what we do with the anger that becomes a problem.

Amythist	27 Mar 2003
If i get hurt by love my anger takes over so everytime i get like this it is hard to control because i would of stopped it ages ago i usually take this out with a friend on chat but as i have been bared it has helped me realise what i am like. I am too quick to anger but i will never see a counseller about it as i had a bad past with them through self harm. I just punch myself in the face or smash one of my faverate things. When i get like this i do aot of studying and i will sit up all hours god sends doing my study. I cried as i typed it and i ask permisson first cos i knew it would of been disstressing to read. I have got better but i am trying to tell my doctor i have a mental issue but he doesnt belive me as i ma most of the time calm but i am that i miscarraged and things are slowly hitting and it is all taken over by anger. Hadson grey (sorry not sure how to spell your name) has pm'd me and he has made me feel better i will slowly improve that why i got my angel cards to help me like tarot to put my finder on the problem and how to control. I am thinkinh possative now so i will be fine if i can keep it up. Thankyou Just try to help me thinking possative. Thankyou you have helped

lunalafey	27 Mar 2003
MOST DEFINATLY HELPS!!!! I cannot expand much on what Zorya has said. Admitting it and then recognising it are the most important things about dealing with it. Try diversion...when you get angry...get a baseball bat and ball and swing at a few. Go for a fast run...turn the energy (anger) into something else. Then once you have defused the negitive actions you can calmly think about what makes you angry...you will be to physically spent to throw things. A matter of love...before you let the love with others eat you up....work on loving yourself. You have expresed the self-hatred...WHY?....I'm not looking for an answer to the why, that is for you to ask yourself. Write it down, then write down the things you can to to change it...then do it. You are not alone in the world, you are not the only one who has these feelings and ideas....you are lucky to have found this place and to have the courage to ask and reveal yourself. We are here, and we like to help. We all have things to learn from eachother....dive in the water's warm.

Amythist	28 Mar 2003
Thankyou for your help. I am drinking canomile tea cos i read it is calming and soothing. I had 1 mood swing today but not as bad as yesterday. I will do exactly what you have tiold me and i work on all my self hatered as soon as i can hudson grey you where right about going out cos i felt much beter thankyou Thanks for you help and support.

marlowe	28 Mar 2003
Punch a wall until you break your hand

Amythist	28 Mar 2003
LOL done that 1 before to. helps but is painful lol

Kiama	28 Mar 2003
Um... I wouldn't suggest punching any walls til you break your hand! Its a bit like throwing the baby out with the bathwater! Chamomile tea is good, as is a nice long soak in the bath with lavender oil in it... A couple of candles to give the bathroom a little ambience, maybe some relaxing music, and lots of chocolate! You might also like to find yourself a favourite smell... Maybe a favourite herb, incense, or perfume, and attach a fond memory or happy thought to it. That way, when you smell that thing, you will think th ehappy thought. So, if you feel yourself getting so angry that you might hurt yourself or somebody else, smell the thing, and you'll think of the happy thought instead of the anger! :D (A little tip from my Mum there... She always gave good advice.) Kiama

Amythist	28 Mar 2003
We think alike i do light and use insence alot. My fafverate smell has got to be an oil that i had myself and is very calming and soothing. I also like tranquility music to. I was just layning down a moment ago to chillout for a while. I am drinking alot of tea but now the herbs have kicked in i a feeling tired i have drank 5 cups of canomile tea inthe space of 2 hours. I will go out and get more when i am ready. I have got a rhodonite palm stone that is helping me to so i guess i am already prepaered for my relaxing candel lit bath with lavender drops and a meditation session when i get out. I always meditate after a bath where i feel sooooooooo relaxed it makes me want to lie down to soft music and shut my eyes for about half an hour and get up all refreshed and revived after a nice long lay in bed. ( all night lol) I hate to feel dirty. I am usually out about 11 am for a couple of hours and i am starting to feel better. Know of any other herbal teas that may help. THANKYOU

Phoenix	28 Mar 2003
I usually end up shuffling the hell out of one of my decks....

Amythist	30 Mar 2003
LOL thata a calm way of dealing with it. I shuffle the hell out of my cards beforei do a reading. I am fed with always getting the same cards time and time again. I shuffle them for 5 minuites before a reading 5 minuties after a reading and i still get simular cards from the day before. Oh well maybe life is simular everyday

Scorpion	30 Mar 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Amythist .I am fed with always getting the same cards time and time again. I shuffle them for 5 minuites before a reading 5 minuties after a reading and i still get simular cards from the day before. Oh well maybe life is simular everyday Amythist, It may well be that the cards are trying to get a particular message across to you that you haven't quite picked up on yet and that's why you get similar readings. If you really feel they're "stuck" you could try re-ordering them in whatever way seems best to you (for instance, I'd sort the Majors out then the Minors: I have a strict order of Swords, Wands, Cups and then Pentacles, but you may have your own thoughts on this) and then shuffle them all over again. If you still get the same cards after that lot I guess you'd better sit up and listen! Or better still, post it here and see what help people can give. I'm sorry to see that you have a problem with anger management. It seems that you direct it mostly against yourself: do you know why this is? (Obviously this isn't a question I expect you to answer here - just to give you something to think about). If you don't have a clear idea, giving it some attention might be of help. I'm no expert on this but it seems to me you're worth a lot more than that. There's been some very helpful advice given here so far and I'm sure more will be added by others, but I agree with the idea that you use the energy it takes to be angry with yourself and try to use it constructively. I always find a long walk takes me out of myself and helps me turn things over in my mind, but it sounds as though with the amount of energy you have to expend running may well be the order of the day!

Amythist	30 Mar 2003
Thankyou for youe advice i do go on long walks. I cant run cos i am disabled, I do and buy things they help. I do alot to try and control it but it makes me worse so maybe i should try to focus and enbrace my anger. Turn it in to energies that are possative.

RedWood	30 Mar 2003
Also...Maybe you should consider professional help. Go to a therapist. Or maybe an anger management group. That way you can share more with people who understand. Or have dealt with that before. Everything you are doing is great. But you need to conisder what to do for long term help. Not just short term.

Amythist	30 Mar 2003
I dont like going to them kinda groups i have had bad experiance in the past. I hate counsellers, social workers doctors and dentist, So i am trying to find my own long term treatment, If i have to i will see a chinese doctor who uses herbal ingrediants and see how i go. If i cant then more procortions will be taken Ie counsellers ect.

Centaur	30 Mar 2003
Try this book; Ellis, A (1986), Anger: How to Live With and Without It, Lyle Stuart Publishers. A friend of mine had huge problems re. anger management. This book changed her life. C

miranda	03 Apr 2003
Quote: Originally posted by Amythist I need help dealing with my anger problem, I throw things beat my self and have servier anger problems. can any give us advice on how to deal with my anger or can you help me think possativly to help me pull through. I suffer from depression anger self hatered and short fused and self halm. i have pulled out a card practice posative thinking and constuive actions now! I am not proud with what i am typing this but i need guidance and possative attude from you all if i start falling. please. i have permoisson to type this aswell OMG me too!! it sux it makes me feel as if im not living how i should but little things sometimes PISS me off to no end.. & also ive noticed im VERY irritable very quick it bothers me allot Thankyou OMG me too!! it sux it makes me feel as if im not living how i should but little things sometimes PISS me off to no end.. & also ive noticed im VERY irritable very quick it bothers me allot *gives u a cyber hug*

The can posative think help anger thread was originally posted on 27 Mar 2003 in the Spirituality board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Spirituality, or read more archived threads.