Your own feelings affecting the readings?

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 02 Jun 2005, and now archived in the Forum Library.

Japskua	02 Jun 2005
Hello everyone! I´m quite new and haven´t done that many readings. But I was wondering, if your own feelings towards the querent could affect the readings? I mean things like secret crush or hattred in example. I always try to clear my own thoughts and read as neutrally and open minded to the querent as possible, but could it be still that my own feelings affect the outcome?

closrapexa	02 Jun 2005
No Taort reading is so machnistic that you are completely detached from the rest of the world. When we read, all of our life exprience, loves, hates, atractions and biases can be reflected in the reading. Of course, it is important to try to stay somewhat neutral and objective, but that is not always possible. If I have a crush on some one, most probably I would be reluctant to read for them at all. I feel that it is sometimes better not to read than to read a possibly detrimental reading. Know thine own limits!

tarotbear	02 Jun 2005
I no longer do my own readings. I have not for a long time. The daily reading I get (now) if from a marvelous CDROM program. Even though we all learn to read tarot by practicing on ourselves, the reader should not be the querent, IMHO, for the best results. This is because we are too close to the subject matter: ourselves. When we do a reading for others it is easy to remain objective, even if they are our best friend or spouse because we see things as possibilities. When we read for ourselves, we tend to 1) over-read the cards, 2) 'edit' the cards' information, even unconsciously. Human nature being what it is, we will always try to give ourselves the best possible angle we can manage. Better to find someone else to do a reading for you when it's a matter of importance! Remember - you make the querent shuffle the cards to obtain their reading~ you do the same thing for yourself. When you ask the cards, for example, what romantic possiblities are in store for you, in the back of your mind you are asking 'Am I going to get laid this weekend?' The difference between 'in store' for the future and 'in store' for this weekend are two distinct things, yet you are asking one thing and expecting the answer to another... In reality, you are going to meet someone nice in about 3 weeks, but the cards are telling you there is no need to buy condoms this weekend. You will misread that as the cards saying that there is no romantic future for you ~ and you will be wrong. The tendency to affect a reading is higher in the case of people who do internet readings ... after all, the querent never touches the cards, only you. Since I am a staunch believer that the Querent handling the cards is an important feature to a reading, without their energy, I always feel the reading is slightly prejuduced. That is not to say that the reading cannot be accurate, but it is definately influenced. I also DO NOT ask the querent what their question is! I feel that to do so automatically tells me what kind of answer they are looking for, and that, too, is an influence on your response. For example, your total idiot, lazy good-for-nothing brother-in-law wants you to do another reading on his latest hair-brained 'get rich quick' scheme ~ do you not think your growing impatience with him wasting his money will NOT influence your responses to his reading? If he does not touch the cards and has you shuffle them over the phone for him, will not your prejudices creep in? A couple of months ago, someone on this forum created a wonderful motto: The cards are in my hands; your future is in yours. I sometimes I feel I do my best readings as a cold reading for a total stranger. You have no previous knowledge to cloud your interpretations. This is why when someone asks me to do a reading for them and then adds "But don't tell me anything bad," I remind them that THEY shuffle the cards, not I. It is not possible to affect either the cards or the interpretation in some way; try to keep the interference to a minimum and you'll be fine! :smoker:

Japskua	02 Jun 2005
Thanks a lot for the comments. Sure gave me things to think about :-) Thanks!

Citrin	02 Jun 2005
My boyfriend (who is in fact from Finland!) asked me to read for him last week, and it made me pretty uncomfortable. How can I possibly stay objective then? ;)

Chronata	02 Jun 2005
I think my best...most accurate readings have always been for people I don't care about. ;) Hmmm...might be why I have such a hard time reading on this forum!

Ace	02 Jun 2005
Japskua wrote: Hello everyone! I´m quite new and haven´t done that many readings. But I was wondering, if your own feelings towards the querent could affect the readings? I mean things like secret crush or hattred in example. I always try to clear my own thoughts and read as neutrally and open minded to the querent as possible, but could it be still that my own feelings affect the outcome? It is a good idea, if you can, to express your own opinion to the querent before you do the reading, so as you say, you can clear out your own thoughts. If it is not possible, be very aware of them. If your own feelings won't let you do a good reading (and you can tell) then tell them you can't read for them. If nothing else, it wouldn't be ethical at that point. Ace

tao51	02 Jun 2005
Your feelings could affect the otcome of your reading. The way you intrepret may be slanted. Objectivity is usually preferre when reading. Yet, sometimes this can be difficult.

Emeraldgirl	03 Jun 2005
I do quite a few readings for people who I know well. Sometimes knowledge of a person can have an effect on the reading. Knowing aspects of people's lives you may chose to focus on them instead of exploring other options. It's a tricky thing feelings. Sometimes you may not want to tell people when the outcome is not favourable or you dull it down to ease the pain which is not a good idea. Just my $0.02

full deck	03 Jun 2005
I have found that to be effective, I need to focus on just doing the reading and not on how I feel about anything. If I feel indifferent to everything except the reading, then I work better. Towards that end, I start with my mind first before I even reach for a deck of cards, then I work towards the question, regardless of if I read for myself or another. I do feel that knowing a deck and the symbology is only a part of reading; the most important part is ones self and how they place themself in the reading process.

The Your own feelings affecting the readings? thread was originally posted on 02 Jun 2005 in the Using Tarot Cards board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the active threads in Using Tarot Cards, or read more archived threads.